I just decided to say something that's on my mind and is almost everytime one of my friends asks me about a situation involving their man.
Can you think of something to add?
*Things I’ve learned about men (working with them and being friends with them)*
1. If you go into the relationship expecting to change him, the relationship will not work out or you will be disappointed. Unless it’s under their own motivation, they will not change.
2. They like to know they’re appreciated too. Don’t forget to thank them for their daily contributions. Then, they will likely take notice of your contributions too and say thanks.
3. They really don’t like drama.
4. If he’s just had sex, he’s hungry. If he just ate, he’s horny.
5. If you’re yelling at them, they’re not listening.
6. You must say their name at least once to get their attention.
7. If they’re watching TV, playing a game, or have their hands anywhere near a car, they won’t hear you until you accomplish #6 and not #5.
8. They don’t care if you’re wearing makeup or not. (most don’t anyhow)
9. They like it when you ask them about their interests.
10. When we get sick, we keep doing our everyday routines (for the most part), but men have this thing called the ‘man cold’ that is FAR worse than anything us women have to deal with.
11. If you want something from him, you MUST ask for it IN DETAIL because men will never understand or pick up on a hint. HINTS DON’T WORK!
12. If you’re mad, he has no idea why. His brain does NOT work like yours does, I promise. You need to explain IN DETAIL why you’re mad and how he can fix it.
13. If he can’t fix something or doesn’t know how to, he gets upset and angry. Let him be angry. Don’t show him that you can fix whatever it is before he calms down.
14. They know you fart and poop.
15. Work together. Be nice while doing so. If he’s redoing the bathroom, see if he’s willing to let you help or at least learn how to do so. They like feeling superior in knowledge.
16. If you want a romantic evening, plan it. He never will. You must be the initiator.
17. Even if you think you’re unattractive, I can guarantee your man doesn’t think that way… Put the lingerie on anyways. He’ll love it.
18. When you know you’re in the wrong… Say so and apologize. It doesn’t hurt to let them be right when they are. It also doesn’t hurt to say, ‘Honey, you’re right. I’m sorry.’
19. If you’re thinking something that has to do with him… You’re WAY over thinking the issue at hand. Whatever is going on in his head is far simpler than what’s going on in yours. i.e. – You’re thinking, “What’s that look about… Is he thinking about another woman? I bet he’s cheating on me. Why is he wearing that new deodorant… She must like it….” And so on. What he’s thinking about, with that look on his face… “Hmmm… I should buy some Cheetos. I haven’t had any in a long time. Oh… I hope she didn’t smell that. That was NASTY. Why is she staring at me… I bet she smelled that.”
20. If you want to know something… Ask them. They don’t like a guessing game.
21. Recognize when you’re hormonal. They’ll appreciate the fact that you make a disclaimer before going off on them. i.e. – ‘I realize I’m hormonal so excuse the rabid dog behavior. I just need to say this anyways.’
That’s about all I can think of right now. Men are pretty simple. Us women make ourselves crazy over thinking things. That’s why they think we’re all crazy to some degree.
Great!
Also mine ( and others I know) have the inability to use a clothes hamper or find things when they need them, especially in the fridge - it's like they were never taught to look behind something! My son is 8 and I already see the traits!!!
I saw this on a greeting card: Man in front of fridge FULL of butter, calling out, "Honey, do we have any butter?" So true in my house. So here's my contribution:
Whatever he's looking for, he won't see it even if it's in his face, so you may as well just get up and hand it to him.
Listen to their "stories" attentively, no matter how many times they tell them. =) I learned a long time ago when you start saying "Yeah I know you've already told me..." they get all crushed and hurt.
MEN NEED RESPECT,if they are not they are off balance just like women need to be loved, not that we do not have a demand for both but if a man is respected to his degree of respect than he feels loved and if a women is loved in her degree of love than she feels respected.
Does that make sense to ya mama"s?
This is hillarious. #5 and #6 could be #1 and #2. If you are not having sex with them, make them a sandwhich. Secret of life. All the rest is pretty simple if you get that right.
M.
I loved #19, too true!!
HAHAHAHA
You should write a book, remind me of Erma Bombeck!
Pretty much all men's basic human needs fall into one or more of three basic categories:
1.) Sex
2.) Food
3.) Money
Have a great day!
jajajaja Good Post. I love #19!! My favorite.
My husband just read this post, and his words were: "This woman knows her man" jajajajajaja
He always says when you need something just give me a specific list and I will do my best to follow WHATS ON THE LIST.
I still always give him verbal instructions and when he doesn't do it right he goes and tells me "WHERE'S THE LIST, WOMAN" and we always laugh @ that and forget about whatever went wrong!
With my husband, and I have had consensus from others, they think of TODAY--unless it is planning something they are going to do that benefits themselves. Women tend to think of now with the effect on tomorrow.
Men do have their own PMS cycles =)
Your husband is not your girlfriend. They really don't want to know about your gossip.
That is great! Thanks.. .I needed a good laugh today. And they are TRUE~
This is awesome! You need to write a column!
Here is my observation - I have three men in my household now that my sons are over 20.... we women like to talk, we take the "long way around the barn" when conveying a story to each other, men, on the other hand,are direct. Just say what you have to say and leave out the "and the next thing I did". They just hate listening to 20 words what can be said in 2 even though we know it takes 20 to get across the full emotion of the event.
S.
Haven't read all the postings, but these are some of my favorites...
- Women care for their children all day, every day even when we're working. Men "babysit" so we can do other things! It's NOT babysitting when it's your own kid!!
-Men will not look for anything beyond where they think it should be.
-They will tell you to relax during labor and delivery, but it's only because they are "fixers" and they can't "fix" your pain!
They have no ability to self-reflect.... or see what is 'wrong' with themselves.
They are like a child... and pout too.
Adding this:
no matter how long they have been doing it, they do NOT know, when trash day is... and when to take it out.
And, they don't even know what size clothes they wear.... nor their kids' clothing size. So, "Wifey" has to tell him. Again.
I'm glad you posted this I need to laugh today :)
These are pretty good. :)
I would add that it is important to remember that sometimes MEN are not in the mood, and to try to respect that (too much to drink = things shut down; just getting of a double = really just want sleep; Thanksgiving dinner = don't touch me).
Don't ask them to do anything that has to be done immediately, unless they just asked you what they can do. (Don't ask for the garbage to go out in the middle of a football game--it won't happen, you'll get mad, you'll do it yourself, then he'll get mad).
Don't expect them to multi-task when they're being entertained. You can fold laundry and watch a movie, they find it annoying.
Hi Mama
I think you got it pretty much covered,just to add that they like to be respected and let be the man, even if us women do have all the answers.lol
Of course as you said they love to be pampered with food and sex.
If they get these they will love their woman like the goddess that she is.
Great post and insight
B.
They can never find something --unless sometimes when it was them who put it there in the first place. They are already decided that they will not be able to find the butter before opening that fridge.
They feel loved only when they have sex. Cuddling, nice words, romance do not really count, unless they lead to sex.
If you are talking about something that is not *directly* related to them, they will not listen more then 10 words. Even that is a stretch. They may listen to more than 10 words only if you are saying something nice about them that they like.
I just have to say that this soooo funny and soooo true! Thanks for the giggle.
They tend to stop listening after 5 to 9 words.
You need to address something quickly ie. (insert name) Friday, Kim and I, dinner at 7.
If you go into detail about how your friend called this morning to talk about her boyfriend and you decided that you haven't been out in a while so you are going to meet for dinner at Joe Schmoes Friday night at 7 and you just wanted to let him know...all he'll hear is "Kim called this morning to talk about Jimmy and..." then he'll tune out and you'll sound like the adults on Charlie Brown.
Come Friday night he'll have NOOOO idea where you are going and why.
