Ivf

Hi! A lot of couples would rather not be personaly involved with the donor's they choose. Although there are couples that want to know everything about the donor and like to spend time with them. I work for a fertility clinic in Thousand Oaks and we have " in house donors". This means we did'nt pick them from a donor agency. If you want I could send you a donor packet so you can see what is required. Just e-mail me and let me know (____@____.com).

As far as family background the doctors will do a full history and there won't be much more genetically that the parents will need to know. As someone who had to consider using a donor I know that personally I would want to thank the donor in some way but I would not want to meet them or talk to them. It is so hard to hear that you may never have a child on your own and everyone deals with that differently.

There is also embryo adoption which means that your eggs would be fertilized by your husband, then frozen and placed for "adoption". In this case there is more likely to be more contact but that is up to you and the adoptive parents. There are many reasons people need or choose to adopt an embryo instead of having ovum donation. For us we wouldn't have wanted either of us to be the biological parent. If we had gone this way we would have wanted to at least send pictures of our family to the biological parents, but I'm not sure how I would have felt about having contact.

If this is something you can do it is wonderful. My only suggestion would be that no matter what you choose be careful if you become involved with someone you know, there is a lot of potential for everyone to get hurt there.

Hi H.,
Every infertility clinic is different but in most cases, the egg donor has no say in who receives the eggs or even the outcome of the embryo transfer. We used an egg donor to conceive our twins and while I am forever grateful and indebted to the lovely woman who donated her eggs and made it all possible, they are our children and she is not now, nor will she ever be a part of our lives. You are considering sharing a part of yourself that is priceless and will hopefully make some couple's dreams come true but I hope that this fact is enough for you as I would imagine that most couples using egg donation would not care to have the donor participate in their lives. I hope this comes across as kind hearted as I in no way meant anything to the contrary.

Hi H.,

I was an ovum donor twice in the past, so I just wanted to tell you about my experiences. As far as family background goes, if you work with an agency (which I did), you'll need to submit a LENGTHY family medical history as part of the application process. Even if you don't go through an agency, I'm sure that the clinic would require it. By the time you're done filling out everything they ask of you, the intended parents know you almost as well as your own parents do!
That being said, the agency I worked with did ask that I just keep my current email address and/or physical address on file with them for the next 18 yrs, so that if the child(ren) did develop any illnesses (which might be genetic or require a transplant) I could be reached.
The amount of contact you have with the parents, if any, is entirely determined by them. Some don't want any. I made it a condition of my donation that we at least have a lengthy phone conversation, since I didn't feel right donating to people I knew nothing about. But sometimes they don't want much contact. I also had to expressly stipulate in the contracts that the parents agreed to notify me if the IVF was successful; usually you waive the right to even know if they got pregnant, but I just couldn't live wondering, you know?
So there it is, short story long, LOL! Let me know if you have any other questions, I'd be glad to chat. It might not be the best decision for everyone, but I found it to be an incredibly fulfilling experience.

What a wonderful gift you plan on giving! I was a gestational surrogate three years ago and it was very rewarding on so many levels. The agency I went through is based in Beverly hills and the staff and founder are amazing, I cant say enough good things about the entire situation. The name of the website is www.eggdonation.com run by Shelly Smith. Good Luck!

What a wonderful gift for you to want to give. I don't really have any advice, just admiration.

There is no contact for this type of donation.

Also the hormones you have to take to donate are really BAD... Check into it very well before you do it!

Having used an egg donor, I can say that your wanting to help those of us who can't produce is GREATLY appreciated. The facility that we used, San Diego Fertility Center (http://www.sdfertility.com/), has their own "pool" of donors; they get the complete family history of the donor and the donor also gets a psych. evaluation. In addition, it's a part of SDFC's contract that the donor and the recipient keep contact information current (forever) in case something comes up that was previously unknown. However, there is no direct contact between the donor and the recipient; SDFC is the go-between. If you have any other questions regarding the recipient side, please do not hesitate to contact me.