IS My 3 1/4Yr Old Normal

I'm hearing two contradictory messages in your post. On the one hand, you seem frustrated with the daycare for what seems like criticism of your daughter. And you're right in as sense: as a rule, daycare providers do not have the education they would need to diagnose AD(H)D. But they are saying to you that compared to the other kids, she seems less able to control herself.
On the other hand, you seem to have noticed the same behavior in your daughter yourself and have concerns. So decide how you feel you can address them. Can you work with the daycare differently? Can she get more exercise? Is she getting enough sleep? You might want to try simple diet changes or add omega 3s, which some folks swear by.
As a mom of a ADD kid, I can tell you AD(H)D is real and it is frustrating, but it is also overdiagnosed and overmedicated. Ask around and be sure if you take her in for testing, it is someone you can trust. And keep in mind that she is awfully young for a diagnosis, which the daycare should know.
Our kids come to us as they are and we do our best. They have challenges and do things we wish they wouldn't, but that doesn't make us failures as parents. Don't be so h*** o* yourself, you will find a way to make this work.

There are different degrees of ADD/ADHD so it's probably not a severe case or it wouldn't have taken them so long to suggest it and they would be more certain. Remember disorders are afterall exaggerations of normal human behavior. I just read an article the other day claiming that ADD/ADHD is linked to a lack of sleep in preschoolers so if she is not getting her 10 - 12 hours of undisrupted sleep, maybe you can look into trying to get her to sleep more (lavender, rearranging the bed, white noise, etc. to induce better sleep). And of course, like someone mentioned, diet. Also, look closely at your behavior. Do you multi-task at home? Do you rush? Although you may feel calm and in control, sometimes our adult actions can appear chaotic to a child. Think about how often you jump up and move quickly in front of your child. Good luck!

Hi. I think a 3-4 year old is too young to be diagnosed with ADHD. They should haev fun and they do have short attention spans. But think about....does she listen at home? Does she have any consequences for not listening when you ask her to do something? Could she be spoiled and think she doesn't have to behave properly? Do you praise her for good behavior or give her enough attention? She is old enough, and as you point out, smiles in your face and knows that she is choosign to ignore you. She should know the basic rigth from wrongs. I don't think she needs to be settled all the time, all day, but she should be able to listen and follow simple rules at home and school when asked. Best of luck with her.

Have you had a chance to observe her with the other kids her age? Preschoolers all tend to have a lot of energy and be still learning impulse control. I think in most cases trying to diagnose before age 4 is a waste of time since it's very hard to distinguish behavior normal for the age vs. ADD/ADHD behaviors. I'd wait until K at least before getting a formal evaluation for ADD(but if she is having problems at school getting counseling or other services without a specific label may help.) In the meantime you can try and see if there might be something going on that might be contributing to the "hyper," fidgety behavior. Some possibilities are: chronically overtired (one of mine is really sensitive to this and is very hyper when overtired), stressed by some large change in her life, mild hearing or auditory processing issues, a food sensitivity (make sure she has no caffeine hiding in things she eats). Also she may have a real hands on learning style or be a bit bored if she is very smart.

My son is also a high energy child but he is a bit older than your daughter (5 and a few months). We struggled a lot with his behavior his 3 year old year of preschool but this year he got used to school and really matured a lot in pre K. He's still a handful but a lot better. Sometimes kids develop unevenly and just need to grow until things even out. Keep in mind your daughter is 3 and is not going to act like a 5 year old.

She may have some sensory issues. My daughter was "sensory seeking" and thus, always wanted to touch things and move around and loved spinning and doing dare-devilish things (she is 8 now and still loves all sorts of amusement park rides that make me vomit just watching!!) Her school picked up on this and one of the things that helped her (among others) was to give her a bumpy cushion to sit on during circle time (I assume circle time or quiet time is hard for her). I guess it gives the child some stimulation that they crave. Could you ask the school whether they think it's a sensory issue b/c then there are lots of tricks to deal with it. My daughter just finished 2nd grade and is doing amazing thanks to the help she got in pre-school. She also had 2 hours a day of SEIT (special ed itinerant teacher) to work with her on the issues she had. She was (and still is) very bright. But just needed to learn classroom decorum (raising hand, not blurting out answer, not walking around when everyone else was sitting etc....)

Dear A.,

It's possible she may have a form of ADD/ADHD, but she's young for a diagnosis, IMO, and my own belief is that medication should be a last resort. You might try looking at her diet first. Some kids are very sensitive to artificial colorings in food, and this can manifest as symptoms of ADD/ADHD. Or, if she has sensory issues, as someone suggested below, milk can really exacerbate that. Chocolate, eggs, and wheat are also frequent culprits; see http://www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/some_alternative_ap....

Also, reading your post, it sounds like she is having a harder time at school than at home. If so, you might ask the teachers if she has a harder time in some situations than others (a lot of preschools overemphasize transitions, IMO, and transitions can be a huge challenge at this developmental stage). Or try observing yourself and see if you can pinpoint what sets her off. All of which is a way of saying, she may not be in the right school for her temperament. As kids get older, they develop skills to handle a range of situations, but when they're this young, you often have to match the setting to the child.

Hope this helps,

Mira

A.,
Your baby is normal! Find another place to put her. maybe a private Mom who has fewer kids. There is nothing she needs to LEARN at this age. Just play!

check out:
Waldorf education.
attachment parenting internatinoal.
and even this: La Leche League.
because they will all give you accurate info on what she needs.

oh so sad she is a fun-loving girl in a place of restricted fun. : ( So much more I could say - check out what I've written before.

Good luck,
M.

I used to be a behavioral modification specialist for children 6-17yrs. It irritates me that they "diagnose" children under the age of 6 with ADHD. It is normal for children under the age of 6 to be hyperactive and not wanting to sit still. They have to learn to do that and it's the teacher's job to show them how...along with the parents. It takes time and they need to learn by example. If she sits still for 2 minutes..reward her and give her verbal praises. Each time throughout the day add an extra minute..continue to praise her.

Take note of what your child eats and check out this site: http://www.feingold.org. Also make sure she gets lots of exercise throughout the day to alleviate her hyperactivity. Children at this age get bored real easily and we need to keep their brains and bodies stimulated.

Nanc

I think she is fine. I really don't know her, but it sounds like a 3 1/2 year old to me. I had the same issue with my son this pass school year. He just turn 4 in June. I just had to talk to him more. Everyday morning telling him the school rules. etc... I would just try this for a few months. Yes a few months. Thats how long it took for him to understand. There kids. :)