My husband's brother and his wife recently lost their unborn baby. She was due in May and the baby would have been their 3rd girl. We don't know all the details but we do know the baby was diagnosed with severe cystic hygroma. They also went through a horrible experience of having to deliver the still born themselves. Although we are normally close with them, because they live in NY we haven't seen or even talked to them yet. They've been very quiet about this and we just found out about this from my husband's mom.
I want to do something for them to let them know how much we're thinking about them. Does anyone have any ideas for something appropriate? I did a very brief search and found some very nice miscarriage/still born/loss of baby memorial jewelry (http://www.labelledame.com/). I think this might be something I'd like to have if anything were to happen to my children, but then again I can't say for sure as I'm not in that situation. Any input and/or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.
-Jen
This might be alittle tough because you are not local to them, but what I have done is go to the statuary store and pick out a small angel that they may put in their garden or front step. Each time they see it they will be reminded that they have another angel looking out for them.
J.,
I think right now, until you know more details and especially since they have been quiet on everything too--it would be best just to start by sending a sympathy card with a handwritten note that you are thinking about them at this terribly difficult time. I work as an OB nurse in a doctor's office and the patients who have gone through something like this tell me that the worst part is when people avoid them or don't say anything just because they don't know what to say or do.
Hope that helps.
C.
P.S. I saw that you mentioned you are in marriage counseling...do you like your counselor? If so, who is it, as my hubbie & I are looking for someone in the area as well.
Hi J.,
I'm so incredibly sorry for your brother and sister in law. I can't imagine what a tough time they've got to be going through right now. I'm really not sure that a gift is appropriate at this time. Being that you weren't told directly by them, may prefer just to have some time to cope with their loss. If I were you, I would maybe just send a warm, heartfelt card telling her just what you said to us, that you are thinking of them both and offer your help if they need anything. If you really want to send something, you could maybe send a book on dealing with the loss of a child or something similar. I'm just trying to think how I'd be feeling and I'm just not sure I'd appreciate any kind of gift. I'm sure whatever you decide will be done with love and I'm sure they will know that. God bless them during this difficult time in their lives.
Hi, this is such a sad situation..
being in a similar.. not so horrible.. but similar.. situation..i received cards.. and flowers, from my closest friends.. something pretty and simple.. really it was just nice, to know, even though your a mess dealing with it.. when someone says they care, thru word or gestures like this.. it means alot to see that people care and there for you, regardless
good luck to youuuu!
J.,
You are a very thoughtful sister-in-law! In response to your question, sometimes just a simple card and words of sympathy go a long way. It's hard to find the right words, but just something simple that says you care and are there for them can go a long way.
Good luck,
Denise
Wow I really like Sara's answer. The worst thing that happens when you lose a baby like this is that you have nothing to remind you of your beautiful child. No pictures, no outfits, no drawings...people tend to want to pat you on the back, tell you that there will be another baby, ignore the fact that this is YOUR baby and it is gone. I think the angel is a perfect idea. I am very sorry for your family's loss.
