my daughter is 12 yrs old . her dad and i are divorced ..it was a abusive relationship she witnessed alot of it .. i stayed because of my children . but finally got out . now it has been three yrs and all of a sudden shes lashing out at me , when she gets in trouble and i send her to her room she tries to hit me ? or come at me .and acts out at my house not her dads ? hes real strict im the softy
i dont understand why shes doing this ? it is making evryone in my house upset .i have an 8mth old . i dont want him to get scared when she yells ? someone sais she sounds bipolar ? i need some advice ....
Does bipolar run on either side of her family? It is usually somewhat inherited. Either way, I would take her to a therapist so she can work out her issues. The therapist can decided if she needs joint sessions with the both of you. Good luck.
she doesnt sound bipolar for goodness sakes. she sounds like a normal teenager see if you can get her in with a therapist. it will help. make sure SHE likes her not just you. good luck
I don't think she is bipolar just b/c she has these mood swings. There is more to it than that...speaking from experience. It does sound like she needs counceling though. She has witnessed a lot and she is just doing what she saw growing up. If she has a better relationship with her dad then that is why she could be lashing out at you b/c that is what he did or she knows she can't do it with him but can do it with you. Whatever reasons, she needs counceling. Hope you can find someone that you and her trust to go to. Don't be quick to put on meds b/c meds does not solve the underlying problem.
12...don't think it's bipolar. Bipolar disorder involves manic phase then switching to depressive. This sounds more like an anger issue. Being at her age, she is possibly hearing things from dad about your previous relationship, or just finally trying to deal with the divorce. As children, and sometimes adults, we tend to push things away and hide them for a couple of years before they start to ooze out. As a child of divorced parents, my dad was abusive to mom, too, I understand where she is coming from. She's too young to understand how to control her feelings and how to put them into more positive outcomes. I highly advise you get her to a couselor who can find out what's going on and teach her how to cope with her feelings rather than lashing out at you. On a personal note...can she take you down? My daughter is 3 inches taller than me and 13 and seems to think she is stronger than me and can take me down. She's tried several times, posed as playing, and has had to be dropped on her butt a few times to get the thought out of her head. Not to say I beat my child up, but I've had to tell her the playing is over and she's going to get hurt....she kept pushing, as my husband says, to test me, so I've had to show her that she can't take me. It can be an issue of trying to test things but I truly think your daughter is dealing with anger issues. I wish you the very best and hope things work out. It's difficult to see our children suffer and I'm telling you, I had some anger issues myself and I was 16.....and I helped my mother get out, so there was no reason for my anger toward her, I just didn't know how to deal with it. Ok, i'll go, good luck sweetie and take care.
She sounds 12 and has had her life turned upside down. Be patient, loving and spend some dedicated time with her. Have you remarried? Is the 8 month old your ex's? She is not bipolar, just needs some stability and understanding. Talk to her, be involved in her head. Good luck and God Bless.
Get her into see a therapist NOW! There are such things as female abusers. And from what she witnessed her father do it wouldn't be unheard of for her to start trying his tactics. Plus, at this age there is sooo much going on for her. She needs to learn the proper ways for her to handle her stress and problems. I agree with the other responder on it probably not being bipolar disorder. She just doesn't know any other way to direct her anger. Family counseling might not be a bad idea, either. It is always helpful to talk with an objective observer to give you new ideas and helpful ways of expressing yourselves with each other. Good luck to you all. And GOOD FOR YOU FOR GETTING AWAY FROM THAT MAN! That was the best thing that you could've done for your children and for yourself. You deserve great things!
The very fact that she doesn't do it to your ex sounds like she has control over it. Check out this site and see if it helps.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/the-consequences-of-permis...
I know my oldest son treated my husband and I very differently. One of us he learned to manipulate emotions and feelings, the other parent was to h*** o* him. Both have consequences. He also saw a very unhealthy relationship between us. Balance is the key.
She's not bipolar, she's 12. This type of behavior is fairly normal for her age as she goes through hormonal changes.
I am wondering how she feels about the 8 month old. She was your baby all those years. Do you think she could be feeling displaced? How is she with him? You might want to talk with her about it. I've found that the best place to have serious conversations with my teen (or almost teen) children is in the car while we're going someplace. Because you're not face to face it's less threatening for them.
I know there are some true mental and emotional illnesses, but most of this is just results of her past and some may even be spiritual (especially if you're a 'believer' AKA 'Christian').
She has seen you 'take it' from her father, and she probably resents that you didn't take up for yourself and she retaliates by acting like he did toward you. If you are a mild-mannered person, it will be difficult to stand up to her, but stand up to her you MUST! I'd suggest you call Focus on the Family for some clear-cut, Christian advice at 800-A-FAMILY.
God bless!
It could be that as well as she is acting out in a way that she has seen. She is also at the age of testing the boundries, hormonal changes and just dealing with life situations. You have to stop being the softy. Set rules and consequences then follow them. The trick is staying consistent. Have a family meeting to outline the rules,also to get the input of all family members. The rules should be followed by everyone. (If the rule is no foul language it is for everyone, adults included)
Our God daughter is 12 and does the same thing. What a "fun" age. She is the oldest and has 4 younger siblings.Her parents do let her know that that type of behavior is not acceptable and she gets in trouble. But what also worked, mom started spending one on one tie with her once a week doing fun stuff.
