I Missed My Companion of 12 Years So Much

Updated on July 04, 2012
C.K. asks from Stuart, IA
10 answers

Did I did the right thing for my cat?
I have just put down one of my old friend of 12 years and I felt so guilty and horrible now. He was diagnosed with Kidney Failure. I didn't realized it until he has stopped eating and drinking. His body was just left skin and bone. When I saw him in such state, the 1st thing that came to my mind was to put him down to end his sufferings but i felt so bad after he has left us. Why?

He has been with me thru thick and thin situation and I love him so much until i still missed him so much, wish he could stay longer with us. The moment I pat his head before he was put down, I told him I hope we could meet again in our external life. But why did he meows before he was put down when he didn't respond to us at home? I couldn't stop thinking why he did that.. Is it because he didn't want to leave me? I still keep his bowl at home just for memory. I feel so horrible now until i haven't been eating properly for days, I kept asking myself why didnt I drip him? Maybe he could be saved if I drip him.. or things could just get worse after the dripping because he was already in bad shape. I just didn't want him to suffer so much because eversince he was born, he was never been thru any hard moment at all. I just want the best for him.. Kindly advise did I did wrong to my cat?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your kind words but I still feel horrible and missed him alot. I think I will need some time to recover but definitely not going to be short as he was my BEST FRIEND forever. And do you know what hurts me most? like everyone mention, maybe he meowed to say THANK YOU to me for taking care of him.. It just breaks my heart so much now because if possible, I willing to give some of my human years to him so he could stay longer. I know this is ridiculous, but it's just heart wrenching for him to say goodbye to me when I'm not ready to lose him.... I will always love you baby

More Answers



answers from Atlanta on

This is going to be long, because I too become deeply attached to my animal companions.

Animals don't understand pain. They don't understand bodily failure. All they know is that it hurts. This is one reason why many vets don't recommend chemo for animals. They don't know you're trying to make them better. They only know it hurts.

We put down my family dog the year I graduated from high school. She was visibly in pain, her time was coming. To keep her alive would have been a selfish act for US, not for her. She wasn't responding to our voices or touch as we drove to the vet, but I still remember that, right before we put her down, she lifted her head and looked around the room and made eye-contact with each and every one of us, even though she had to turn around to see one of us. I have always believed that she knew the end had arrived, and was saying her good-byes. She wanted to make sure each of us knew that she had loved us.

I am crying as I write this now, because the memories are bittersweet, but I think you need to think about that meow in a different way. Your cat was in pain. He knew that the end was coming. Had you chosen to delay, you wouldn't have saved him. He was old and very sick. Maybe you would have extended his life, but that would have meant you just would have extended his suffering. And in his last moments, he said good-bye to you, to let you know that HE KNEW YOU WERE THERE WITH HIM, and he would miss you. I think that is why he meowed.

Losing a pet is losing a family member. Allow yourself to grieve. That's okay. But don't feel guilty. You did what was best for your cat, even though it brought you pain. That is what a good parent does.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to make the same decision for my dog in April, and she would have been 12 years old in May. We have added another dog to our family, but we also still miss her so much. The thing is that animals don't show their suffering like humans, and they will hide their pain from us as much as possible. When they aren't going to get better and are suffering a diminished quality of life, we have an obligation to do the most humane thing for them. Maybe he "meowed" to tell you one last time that he loved you. Maybe he was saying "thank you" for being such a good pet-mom and taking your responsibility to him so seriously. You grieve because you loved your cat. Do not second guess yoursefl; you absolutely did the right thing for your cat. If it were NOT the right thing, your vet would have told you that prior to the euthanasia. Vets don't like having to do that either; they do not do it lightly. May you find peace.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

You didn't want your beloved friend to suffer. He would have continued suffering, no matter what you did. Kidneys don't stop failing in animals. You did the right thing. Ending his suffering was the most loving, humane, and loyal thing you could have done for him. I'm sorry you are in pain. You did nothing wrong.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I could have written this post. We had to put our 12 year old dog to sleep on Saturday because she woke up paralyzed and unable to control her bowels. It was the hardest decision, but you have to do what's right for them. We ultimately decided we didn't want her to suffer. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but you wouldn't want your cat to suffer just as we didn't want our dog to suffer. If he is in pain and unable to eat or drink, you're really only keeping him alive for your own sake, not his.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

I've had to put down a beloved pet too, C.. I know how hard it is. You are suffering now, but after some time goes by, you will know that you were being totally unselfish by allowing him to go. He probably mewed because he hurt so bad.

It is a kindness that we can show animals, having the vet put them down, that we cannot do to people. Suffering until we die is something that every single person dreads and prays doesn't happen to them. Being able to stop the pain is what moms always want to do, and you did it for your pet. You were a good mom when it counted most for him.


4 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

You did what you did because you loved your cat and didn't want him to suffer anymore. It was truly an act of kindness and one of the most selfless acts you could do. Take care of yourself.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

This is the hardest thing a pet owner will have to do :-( You did the right and loving thing for your friend. You could second guess the timing, but it sounds as though he was suffering and unfortunately not much else could be done for him. Because of survival instinct, cats and dogs are actually in worse condition than they let on. They also want to be with and please you because they love you.

If he could tell you himself he would say "Thank You for being my family and taking care of me to the very end!" I thank you too! As anyone with any experience in animal rescue knows, not every pet gets to be in a home where they are loved as much as you loved and cared for your cat. I wish you time to ease the hurt so you can remember the good times fondly. PLEASE don't feel another moment of guilt!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I am crying as I read your post... I am so sorry, so very sorry. We adopted a cat two years ago, and she is 3 now. She is truly *my* cat. She is sitting right here behind me as I type... she is always near me and she runs to the door when I enter the house from being out or at work... she is a real companion. My husband and even my little girls don't understand that, but I get it! I hear you about the bond you had with your cat. Animal/people bonds are very real and not to be undermined. As far as your question, I believe you did the right thing. What LivTokyo said really makes sense and is true. She pinned it right on the head. Your cat was in pain and was suffering, and that was not going to change. You did the humane thing. The meow could most definitely be your cat's way of just acknowledging love for you... a greeting of sorts, a communication from him to you. The thing is, you were there with him till the end, you showed compassion and caring, and you really stepped up and acted as the adult, unselfishly. I commend you! I am so sorry once again for the loss of your cat!!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

This is so very touching. Your love for your cat equaled mine for my dog that I lost almost a year ago. He was with me for about 15 years and he had kidney failure and I had to let him go. It wasn't what was best for me, it was what was best for him. I couldn't stand to see him suffer in this life in the end. I was by his side when they gave him the enjection, he took his last breath as I caressed him, my heart in a thousand pieces. He wasn't just a dog, he was my world; and that day my world fell apart. I know exactly how you feel. But you see......however painful it is, when their quality of life is over, their time here is complete. We don't feel the pain because they aren't ready to leave, we feel the pain because we have to live without them. Take time to grieve your loss , thats very important. As a fellow animal lover who has been thru the agony and devastation of losing a pet, I promise you....it does and will get easier. One day you'll be able to remember that precious cat and smile with the happy memories. The darkness dosen't last forever. I promise.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

His meows were to let you know he loved you that he was ok that you let him be in peace now. Cats are fascinating animals who love their owners. You could not save him but you did love him enough to let him go, both of my sisters cats got kidney failure they must be put down or not they suffer. You never want to see a cat nor a human suffer. You did the right thing. Look for signs your cat is with you now and will be always.

You will reunite one day or he may send you a reminder that he is still there not in body but in soil.

Look for the signs they are everywhere. don't look with your eyes look with your heart.

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