How Do You Know When Its Time to Put Your Pet Down.

Updated on June 16, 2009
J.D. asks from Port Monmouth, NJ
29 answers

I have a mixed breed mutt, medium sized about 45lbs. we think lab/and collie mix.
he is 16 years old, and is starting to show some signs of slowing down. I took him to the dr last week cause he had alot of trouble getting up, and wasnt able to make it outside on his own. he has accidents in the house everyday for about the last 6 months.
the dr took blood and urine tests, and I talked to him today and he told me his kidneys are starting to fail,and he blood in his urine.
he gave me some pills to give him last week, and told me to try and boil chopmeat and see if he'll eat that. well he ended up eating it,only to throw it up later on.
I've read all the posts on this site,which alot of them say to look in there eyes and that should tell you. well its hard because he still lays there sometimes with his tounge hanging out which looks like he's smiling at me. so I am torn at what to do.
I talked to the dr and he mentioned hospitalizing him, but I'm not sure if its at all worth it to keep him going only for my satisfaction of just keeping him around cause I'm to sad to let him go.

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So What Happened?

well yesterday I made the decision to put my dog down, he really took a turn for the worse and I couldn't stand to see him suffer anymore. I just want to take a minute to thank everyone for their advice, and prayers while I went through this difficult time.
It really hurts right now not having him here, but I know he's not suffering anymore.
thank you all again.
J.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

It's the hardest thing we all do at sometime .. they are part of the family... and are so loving. My dog Sable was 17 and we put him to sleep in Jan... it was hard but I knew it was time before he was in pain. His breathing was labored and he just wasn't doing great anymore. I tried St. Joseph's aspirin.. for his legs and it helped a lot to ease the pain when getting up. I also put a small board over the steps so he could go out easier.. and this helped with the steps.. it was kind of like a ramp.. but I'm only talking about 5 steps. He lived about 6 months with the aspirin and the board to help him but then it was time. I think the hospital is hard for the pet, being in a cage and all. I didn't put him in the hospital but kept him at home and he did well. I would cook up minute rice with a chicken boulion cube added.. and he loved it.. and ate it up. Try the aspirin and the board if it helps.. and you'll know when it's time. Give him a kiss.. and hold his paw.. when it's time.. they give the dog a shot and they drift off.. very peacefully. It's hard.. but they don't suffer.. If you ever want to talk.. send me an email.. [email protected]____.com A.~~

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S.G.

answers from Rochester on

I wouldn't put him through anymore agony at the doctor's. Hospitalizing at this point is probably the worst thing you can do. Keep him at home, keep him comfortable. If you really feel he isn't going to get better, and caring for him has been a hassle, and he seems to realize that he's breaking down, its probably time to let him go. I don't like to see animals suffer. I've seen too much of it and I'd rather let them go in peace rather than let them suffer another day.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

Think about the dogs quality of life. If it is still good, and you are willing to care for him then go a little longer. Once his quality of life deteriorates, that's usually when you should think about euthanasia. I know it is hard to let go, but if you really love him, it's best. I worked in a vets office and specialized as a grief councilor. I have been thorough the process many times and it never gets easier. I wish you the best!

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J.C.

answers from New York on

16 years is a great long life. It is the hardest decision to make but if he can not eat and is having accidents he is already telling you what needs to be done. My Boston Terrier was 14 and blind but could get around...once he started going to the bathroom every 2 hours or having the urge to go and was really sleeping more than moving...it was time. He ended up having a seizure that really made my decision for me when he could not get up any longer. They live to love you and now it is time for you to give him peace. Good luck...

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D.A.

answers from New York on

We had to put our dog to sleep when he was about 16 year old. It was a difficult choice to make but some times you need to look at the quality of life and ask yourself--would I want to live like that. I feel my dog had a great life but he was in pain and was not a happy dog anymore. I was 18 at the time and a freshman in college so I came home to say goodbye-it was hard but I know my family made the right choice. I am now 36 years old and still remember him like it was yesterday. My father took him to the vet and stayed with him during the procedure which was comforting to him since he could see that he was not in any pain. Nobody can tell you the right time but from your post it sounds like you already know what to do. Several years later I had to put my husbands cat to sleep and I was in the vet's room when she was put to sleep--it was a very peaceful and humane way of putting the cat out of her physical pain which was consuming her.
I hope this helps--from one who loved her dog and cats as the family members they were.
D. A

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M.L.

answers from New York on

This is a very sad time for you, I'm so sorry. Our pup was also 16 when she started failing - lab/golden mix. I had made the appt. to have her put down two times and couldn't go through with it. But then things took a sudden turn for the worse she didn't pee for more than 24 hours so we rushed her to the emergency vet center. We were told her kidneys and liver were failing and her bladder was in danger of bursting.

At that point we gave her up. She was not going to get any better and was suffering. We stayed with her while they did it. It was a very humane procedure. First they gave her a sedative - she wasn't moving much to begin with - then the final injection. It was like she was going to sleep.

In retrospect, we probably should have done it a little sooner. Although she was her wonderful self, all through, I think she must have been in misery towards the end and I regret that.

I now volunteer to raise puppies for the Guide Dog Foundation. I cry when they go in for training - but at least they are young and alive and going off to do something good.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

I just put my dog down a few weeks ago, in a very similar situation. It was very hard, but once I understood that she was beginning organ failure, that there was nothing I could feed her that wouldn't make her vomit, and that she just didn't feel good now and was only going to get worse with every passing day - I decided it was time. It was very intense emotionally, but I am at peace with my decision that I spared her the worst of kidney failure. It is a terrible experience for them.

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

I can relate to this. We had a cat that we rescued after finding him hit by a car. We paid to fix him up from the accident which cost us more than $800 and that was after the vet kindly gave us all sorts of discounts and things for free. Yes, I am a sucker for animals...I hate to see them mistreated and love to help them get a second chance. I had gained this cat's trust over a several month period before the accident so when I saw him knocking on death's door, my husband and I agreed that if he survived, he would live out his days with us.

He became my "first baby" and would literally lay in my arms like one. He was extremely lovable for being a cat and had a 6th sense if people weren't fond of them. More often than not though, he even won the non-cat people over.

A couple of years before we moved to NY he was diagnosed as having diabetes. For 2 years we gave him daily injections and special food and took him for bloodwork every 3 months because his levels would come down but only so far. He had accidents constantly because he couldn't always make it to the litter box and would go so much that he literally burned through 2 of the automatic litter boxes. He also stopped being a lap cat and would go lay in a quiet corner of the upstairs hallway instead.

We found out we were moving to NY and I couldn't think of a comfortable way to get him here because of his bathroom issues. He could never have done the car ride and honestly, I don't think he could have lasted the airplane ride either. I was loving on him one night and realized I had been keeping him alive for my own reasons and putting him through the move was going to be torture for him no matter what we did. I decided with a VERY heavy heart to have him euthanized.

My mom went with me to take him and even today, 5 1/2 years later, it brings me to tears. I don't regret putting him down. I would have loved to have had much more time with him. My oldest son was just under 3 at the time and he adored him and the cat was absolutely wonderful with him. We should have been able to have more time with him as his age was only guessed to have been about 10 or so at the time. He was still young but I know in my heart, he wasn't the same...he didn't feel well. He hated the shots and constantly going to the vets. I knew it was the right thing to do for him.

In my heart, I know we gave him a wonderful last 7 years of his life after we rescued him. Maybe for the first time in his life, he knew what it was to be loved and to be part of a family. The ONLY regret I have is that I wasn't strong enough to be in the room with him. It is something that times like this when I think about the story that I feel a wave of guilt come over me still. I wish I had been stronger to be there for him. My poor mom didn't know whether to go be with him or stay and comfort me. Of course she stayed with me but you could tell even she was torn. I guess even though I knew I was doing the best thing for him, I didn't want to let him go and I still felt guilty that I couldn't make him better. I don't know why...I knew I couldn't...I had been doing all I could for the 2 years before but his levels were always still very high.

I'm sorry for the book...just trying to let you know you aren't alone I guess. The reality is, your dog is 16 so he has lived a long life. The only way I would do hospitalization is if it could make him better which it doesn't sound like it could. It sounds like his time is just coming. I know what it must make you feel to see him not be able to hold his food down, to not be able to make it to the bathroom, and to look like it is such a struggle to move. Of course he may still be smiling at you! He still loves you because you have loved him. It doesn't mean that he isn't feeling horrible though which means you have to decide if he can get better and if that occasional smile is worth watching all the other things.

I will give 2 suggestions though. 1) If you do hospitalization, ask the vet if he has private pet insurance. Ours offered it for $200 the first year and it gave us half off any service or product. It saved us almost $700 that first year. 2) If you do decide to euthanize, just spend lots of time with him before you take him. Tell him how much you love him and make sure you have some pictures to remind you of all the good. I have a bunch of our cat with my oldest son as a toddler that are just adorable but my fave is probably one of the ones from my wedding day. Yes, I had a couple of pictures taken of my cat (who was a black and white tuxedo marked guy - how perfect!) and me in my wedding dress. They all help to remind me that again, he knew love because of us and I euthanized him BECAUSE I loved him and didn't want to see him suffer anymore.

I wish you the best.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Making that decision is one of the hardest things you will ever do. But you have to think of the dog. He doesnt understand what is happening to him. Im sure he is upset when he makes in the house and now he is having a hard time walking. so how is the quality of his life? Is he enjoying himself or suffering? You know he wont get better, so you need to decide if he is suffering. Here is a wonderful poem that might help you.
http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm
Bless you for caring.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

J.,

Its time to put him down.

he is suffering. and so are you.

My dog was the same way.

What I did was bring her into the vet,
and they gave her a shot that relaxes her,
i pet her cuddled her, and then they came back in and gave her the stuff to put her down, and they immediately checked her eyes, and she was gone.

No pain.

and it was over.

Believe me, its painless,

Good luck with whatever you decide.

M

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

J., it's time to let him go. Once he crosses that rainbow bridge he'll be able to run and play like he used to. I think you already know in your heart that it's the right decision. He'll be better for it.

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P.C.

answers from New York on

You know J., we never know when it is the right time to say good bye to our dear furry friends.
I can offer you that we just put our American Eskimo down on May 8th. He was 15 years old and I knew he was beginning kidney failure as early as mid 2007.
The thing with kidney failure is that there is no pain.
They just do the things you describe.
They lose control of their bladder and it just pours out of them all of a sudden. Also, and this is key.....the vomiting becomes a daily thing in the very end. Less interest in food for a month or two and then they suddenly stop eating and drinking all together. But the vomiting continues. They sleep a lot too.
Your Dog sounds so much like our Taz......but I know a lot of people who lost their dogs to kidney failure and they all describe the same symptoms.
The decision to put him down didn't come any easier just because we knew "the symptoms".....Taz was on the table at the vets still awake and alert. He was a bit "foggy" and
"vague" in comparison to his usual dimeanor, but he had slowly been getting that way, so we really didn't notice the affect until the vet pointed it out to us.
The clincher was the blood values. His values were through the roof and he was in end stage kideny failure. There was nothing they could do for him.
He basically had sludge in his veins. Yes, they could have hospitalized him for a few days and "cleaned his blood", but as soon as they would have disconnected the IV's, the whole process would have begun again and we would have been right back to that in a matter of days. And why put him through all of that? He always wanted to be home iwth us. Not in a hospital.
At the time we put him down, we were hit with mixed feelings that we were giving up on him, or that there may be something they could do for him. Now that some time has passed, we know we did the right thing by him.
He was 15.
That is the life span of our dogs.
He lived his life. It is just that we live a lot longer and so we don't want to be without them.
If you see your dog just hanging around, sleeping a lot, not really eating, having trouble walking and picking himslef up off the floor, panting a lot, and peeing in the house, ask yourself if you think he is happy with his quality of life. Is he comfortable and happy. Is he able to run and get around like he'd like to?
It is ultimately your call, and you have to try to seperate yourself from your heart and take a look from the outside.
If you know that this is not the way your dog should be acting, then it may be that time.
We let them hang around more for us than for them.
They only live for the now. They have no idea of tomorrow, next week etc. They have no knowledge of death either.
The process itself is very peaceful actually.
They will put in a catheter and bring your dog to be with you. They first put the anesthsia in slowly and your dog will drift off to sleep and while he sleeps, the rest of the lethal dose is given. I held my Taz's head in my hands and he took a few deep breaths and then his head got very heavy in my hands and he was gone.
J., I know what you are feeling, and I know what is a head of you. Just know that your pet loves you. He depends on you to do the right thing for him.
No matter how hard that "right thing" is.
My heart is heavy for you as I know all that you will be going through.
Take care!
P.

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P.C.

answers from New York on

This is such a hard thing to do; you have my sympathies. I would say that the time is now, or at least in the next few weeks before your dog has to suffer any more. We have had to do this, and I know how hard it is. My daughter and I cried all the way to and from the vet and while we were saying good bye, but for our 13-yr-old lab, it was time. We are facing this again with three senior dogs, and I take each day as it comes, cleaning up a mess or two, and seeing whether the meds they take and acupuncture treatments they receive help in the short term. I would not hospitalize him; just keep him at home until you are ready.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
One more vote for it is time. We had a 17 yr old chow/lab mix we just finally decided to put done. What finally did it for me was when I asked myself "What am I waiting for?" She was not well at all, in a lot of pain and getting worse, how much was I actaully going to make her suffer before I felt justified in letting her go? That sealed it for me and I took her the next day. It was very painless and peaceful - well, except all my sobbing!

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S.D.

answers from Albany on

We waited too long to put our cat down. We loved him so much and it was just too hard to think of electing to have him put down. In the end, he was in pain and was confused. We thought he was gone but then he came back for a few minutes and was making terrible crying sounds. It was really, really awful. I will always wish that we had put him down instead of watching him suffer until the end. It's so hard to do. I'm very sorry that your friend needs to go but it's time. It is far better for him to go in your loving arms while still feeling ok than to suffer until the bitter end. :(

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S.F.

answers from Glens Falls on

I went through this almost 2 years ago and my eyes filled with tears when I read your question. My mom told me "you will know when it's time". My kitty was terminal but not in any obvious pain, just slept in the closet all the time. He had an open wound from cancer and it was starting to get bad. We had to start giving injections at home. I kept questioning myself if I was keeping him going because I couldn't take it. The day it hit me that I just knew I called my mom and sobbed like a toddler. I remember the vet saying it was the ultimate act of love. She also told me when they stop eating they are saying it's just not worth it. Good luck-- listen to your heart. I know how agonizing this is.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

I recently struggles with the same decision. My dog was only 9 but was diagnosed with a very serious and aggressive cancer. I was told he had very little time to live and that I would know when it was time to put him down. Every day I was on edge wondering if all the little signs or struggle she had meant it was time. He had a few bad days and I thought for sure that I needed to bring him to the vet and it would be his last visit but the next day he got up, ran around the house and played with our other dog and my kids. I was so confused. However, a few weeks later he had a great day. He played and ran and barked and then all of a sudden he had trouble breathing. It progressivly got worse and I KNEW. I KNEW it was time. His gums were really white so I knew somehting was going on internally. Although it was truly the hardest thing to do I knew it was what I had to do. I loved him so much and I had to love him enough to do this for him too. I am sorry to hear about your dog struggling (and you too). Just enjoy him and try not to drive yourself crazy like I did. When it is time you will just feel that it is right and you will be comfortable making the decision although it will be hard. Remember to love him enough to let him go too. I wish you luck and many happy days ahead with your doggie! I hope this helps

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A.G.

answers from New York on

How is his quality of life? Does he still enjoy it or is he in constant pain? We had to make the same decision 2 years ago with our lab. He was in sooo much pain and the vet said the only way to know what was wrong was explority surgery. We had him put down and we did it for him because I wanted to keep him here. Our pets are our kids too so making the choice is horrible. Weigh all the factors and if you have to put him down sit down and make a list of all (some at least) of the great you had with him. Realize that the end should be dignified and surrounded by love for him as you would want to be. This probably wasn't helpful but please know that you are doing what is right for him even if it breaks your heart. So sorry you have to make this choice. A.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

16 years is a great long life for a dog. do you feel like your dog is having any quality of life right now? Is He/she in any discomfort? Its really hard letting someone you love go but the last thing you want to remember is them suffering. if you can let them die peacefully it is a gift. then you both have good memories.
I wish you all the luck in reaching your decision and I commend you for being a good pet owner and dog lover.
best wishes!
J.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

16 years Wow!. Unfortunately it does sound like it is time. I recently had to put my 10 YO springer down
because of cancer. She was having trouble breathing and the
vet said she only had a week or two. Rather than have
her suffer or throw a clot, we chose to do the humane
thing and put her down. She had a big meal and her
favorite blanket. She was still so full of life and
so beautiful.

I did have a black lab for 16 years. She was incontinent
and deaf and had cataracts. She had trouble walking. It
was time, but I felt blessed to have her for 16 years.
I felt cheated having to put Callie down at 10. I feel
your pain. You will make the right decision. Good luck.

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T.M.

answers from Utica on

J., responding to this brings back alot of painful memories. it is never easy to know when it is time to say farewell to someone who is probably as important to you as a child. from what you describe however, it sounds like as hard as this decesion is, it is probably time. once they loose control of bodily functions and have a problem getting around, things probably aren't going to get any better. medicating him or hospitalizing will only prolong the inevitable, and in turn prolong his suffering. i believe they know when it is time to go, but i also believe they hang on as much for you as much as you want to hang on to them. when they look into your eyes they will know when you are ready to accept their moving on. 2 years ago i faced this with my beloved german shephard of 15 years. i spent a day with her and a whole lot of tears and just told her it was ok for her to move on. she passed the next day. now today i have 3 crazy new members of the family. all rescues.. and i know the day will come again for the ultimate decesion, but for now they keep me very busy and happy again. i pray you find the strength to know what is right for you.

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D.A.

answers from New York on

I have always been told that when they no longer eat it is time to let them go. I have gone both ways with pets - one I hopes would get better so I put him in the hospital and although I visited and thought he was getting better I got a call from them saying he had just died. I have always felt horrible that he died in a cage without his family. Another one we decided to put him to sleep and we were on our way to the doctor's when he took the decision out of our hands he just went to sleep and died at the vet's with his family around him. I have had to make this decision for horses, rabbits, cats, dogs and last week a duck. Each and every decision was hard and takes time to get over but you are being a loving and responsible guardian for your pet. Like someone else said you can get your pet cremated. mine have come back in really pretty carved boxes with little locks on them with my pets name on a plaque.

My prayers are with you at this difficult time.

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S.D.

answers from New York on

Hi, J..

It is always a difficult decision to put a member of your family down. Our family recently lost a dog. We went through the same things that you are going through right now. Buddy was a Golden Retriever. He was almost 12 years old and could not climb up the stairs to get back into the house. He was beginning to have accidents in the house. The Vet put him on medication to make the situation better. Well, those who have told you that you can see it in their eyes are correct. Buddy made the decision for us. He would not get up and he growled at us for trying to physically pick him up to take him out.

The final decision is ultimately yours. Please do not become offended by my opinion. But, I don't believe that any animal should suffer because I am the one being selfish. Your family should remember the good times and not the suffering.

God bless the decision that you make.

S. D

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D.N.

answers from New York on

Well J., here is my opinion and its just that...an opinion. If you can handle the getting sick and the accidents in the house, then keep the dog happy. If he is not in any pain, then you are not keeping him alive for you, but for him as well. If he is suffering then that is a different story..you would be keeping him alive for yourself. Enjoy as much time as you can, take photos and take it day by day. I was there...but my dog had cancer, huge growth and not a quality of life situation...so I had to put him down for him, not me. I would have kept him alive forever, but it wasn't the quality of life he deserved. That is the key. What does HE deserve on this earth? Good luck. I feel your pain.

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

I know its very hard to put your pet down, I had to do it with my poodle she was 15 yrs old and her kidneys were failing. And she had a uterine infection as well. Anyway its hard, but at this point it really is the best thing for your dog in my opinion. It sounds to me like he is suffering and has no quality of life. 16 yrs is pretty good for a dog. Putting him in a hospital will only prolong the inevitable and it would be for you sake not his to keep him around longer. Being in the hospital he can't be a dog run play etc. It will be very difficult but again in my opinion it is the humaine thing to do when an animail is sick. :) J. NY

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K.S.

answers from New York on

It is one of the toughest things in the world to see your loved one start to fail. We had to put our Katie down last July. She was a 12 year old full breed yellow lab. It got to the point where she wasn't eating at all and I tried everything, chop meat and rice, chicken, etc. She would have accidents in the house and could not get up at all without a little help. Without trying to be gross, it was when she vomited bile as she lay on the kitchen floor when we saw "the look". We brought her to be put down and we then saw an almost "thank you, I love you look" in her eyes. I am crying as I type this reply thinking about her. It is true that you'll know when it's time. Good luck.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

My mother and sister both just had to go through this within the last 5 months. As hard as it is to let a family member go (and that is what they are), it is time. He is just suffering. They didn't suggest that you do it already? If you can handle it, make sure that you or someone else that loves him is there at the end. There are some great places here in CT that do a cremation, give you a beautiful urn and a framed rememberance poem for you loved one.

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R.E.

answers from New York on

when there's no quality of life.
staying in a hospital with no family around is no quality of life.
i've had 3 dogs in my life and we had to put our last one down last summer. she just lied around and sometimes got up to use the bathroom. she was a soft coated wheaten terrier and lived to be 15 1/2.
good luck.

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V.M.

answers from New York on

I'm so sorry. Having had to make this decision several times myself, I know how hard it it. He is a dog who has given you 16 years of unconditional love. You need to ask yourself if he is staying for you or for him. I think its for you. He loves you too. Do what's right for him and end his suffering. Yes, your heart will break for a while, losing a loved one is never easy. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it is very hard, don't be ashamed to grieve, set up a memorial in your yard or do whatever you need to in order to feel somewhat better. My best to you and your family.

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