I Just Need to Vent - I FEEL SO UNHAPPY WAY TOO OFTEN!

O., can you try to see if there is a church or support group you can actually meet with? You need to be around caring adults that understand your feelings and situation. When I went through my divorce to my first husband I found comfort in a church. It wasn't a church I was attending before, I met these people after my husband and I separated. My daughter was only 6 months old at the time. If church isn't your thing then you should google support groups in your area and see if you can work out a time to meet with them. Even if you have to bring your daughter with you. Your feelings are normal but I think you need to turn those sad frustrated feelings into happy ones as much as you can. I know I can get really down at times feeling like all I do is care for the kids. It's not a good way to feel.

Take care and I hope things look up for you!

Hi O.,

What a rotten way to feel!! I read the other posts and saw that there were a lot of suggestions about finding a church you could find support from. Great advice if you are a religious person, which it sounds like you are. Maybe you could also look into support groups for single moms or playgroups for your daughter.

I think, as Moms, we have all felt isolated and drained at one point or another. You aren't alone in the way you feel and knowing that already makes you feel connected to other people. It becomes dangerous when depression starts to consume you though. I would stop trying to be close with people who are not giving anything back to you. As hurtful as it is and as frustrating as it is not to be close to your family the way you'd like to be, sometimes you can not change the way other people are, and it only continues to hurt you when you expect what is never going to happen. Find support with others you connect with and who you mutually like to spend time with.

What happened to the friendships you used to have? Are you in touch with any other those people?

Life is so short and you are the only one who has the ability to make yourself happy. There are some great self-help books out there that can give you ideas on how to think more positively. Check out the library and turn off the TV... maybe set aside some time to exercise and take care of yourself! You're worth it and so is your daughter:)

Good luck!!

I am so sorry. I think all single parents have been where you are.

Maybe you could get involved with a church... it would be a good way to make friends and get involved in some outside activities. Try walking with your daughter. Maybe take one day a month for you... get a sitter and just do something for you like a trip to the spa, a movie, a meal.

Your daughter's father should be just that... stop having sex with him... stop allowing yourself to be drug down by him.

You might also want to consider some counseling... this may help you get through the hard times.

Hi O.,

This is from an old request, but I was wondering how you're doing. I am a mom of two girls that take all I have most days. i have a husband, but we are not that close. I know how lonely you can feel for adults in your life and closeness with family (esp. family that is not that interested) It just plain hurts, BUT all I can tell you is that YOU are the whole world to your daughter and you can make a world full of fun and love with her. This Christmas I baked gingerbread with my girls and it was the first time in my life. We had such a good time. Try to find the pleasure in your child and take time to sit and be with her. It makes it worth while. Try not to eat at night as I've done that and I AM FAT now.... Not horrible, but I need to lose 30 lbs which isnt going to be easy. You didnt say if you had a job outside the home..... once in a while I get out to have a sushi night with a girlfriend I used to work with . You need to keep in contact with any good girlfriends no matter how hard. They'll be the ones to be there for you in the hard times. I wish you well and stay away from the abusive ex, you have to keep that at a distance. There are good men out there. Just remember you have to be the leader in your little group of two and have a plan to do things with your little one. Have a family movie night, game night, park day. Pizza night all stuff you can do with just the two of you. Maybe add a mom friend and her child once in a while. The relationship with your child has to be taught to her, she is too little you are the one that has to make it happen. SHe does love you and cares for you. You are her world, dont forget that. Oh and get a dog if you dont have one, and fish. I'm not kidding! :) L.

I don't have any advice, but I will pray immediately for you. I wish you the best:)

I went and looked at your other posts before responding. It appears to me that you may need some help for depression, and that isn't surprising from what's been happening in your life. You gave some good advice to another person in one of your posts. You might want to go back and re-read that. I definitely agree that you need to be sure to keep your relationship with your daughter's father on a level of he's just her father, and not your sexual partner. If there's any chance that he could become more to you, having sex with him at this point isn't going to enhance that possibility. If there isn't a chance of more with him, then you are taking the chance - no matter how you use protection - of having another child by him and only complicating your life more. You don't want to do that, for your sake or your daughter's.
I agree that getting involved in a good church should help. Also find things to do for others... not just your extended family and friends, but people you don't even know. When we are interested and doing what we can to help others, we tend to forget our own problems, or at least be able to cope with them better.
It sounds like your mom and sisters do need you at this time. Perhaps they are so caught up in your Mom's illness
(from one of your other posts) that they don't have the time or energy to listen to your problems. It sounds like your distance from them has built up prior to your Mom's illness, but perhaps this is a good time for you to really reach out and close that gap. You can't just wait for them to come to you, but need to take some significant first steps toward them. Are you in a position to offer to help your Mom with things she needs done... take her to doctor's appointments, clean house, shop, etc.? If you are and she's open to accept your help, this might be a great first step to get her and your sisters involved with you and your daughter. Perhaps she'd just love for you to visit her and let her spend time with her granddaughter. I don't know how much of this you have done, and you don't mention if your Mom and sisters even live in the area, so these are just suggestions that are "shots in the dark".

I too will be praying for you.