How Much Housework Does Your Husband Do?

My husband works 5 a.m. - 2 pm most days. Sometimes later.

He does some laundry every week. Maybe 2 or 3 loads. Washes, dries and folds. He doesn't usually put away, but that's OK. I have "a system."

If he sees the vacuum should be run, he does it.

He cleans the bathrooms occasionally (once per month).

He cooks several night every week. And cleans up the kitchen on the nights I cook.

He also does EVERYTHING outside of the house & takes care of the cars.

He's awesome!

I have a wonderful husband.
I do most of the cooking, but if something goes on the grill, he does it. He also makes breakfast for me once in a great while (omelettes).
He keeps up the yard (mows, edges, fertilizes, bug stuff, etc).
He will take clothes out of the dryer and fold them (not quite the way I fold them...but they get laid out on the sofa so they don't get wrinkled) and sometimes put them away.
He will start a load of laundry if he notices the pile getting big and the washer is empty.
He cleans out the coffee pot about half the time. And he washes whatever dishes are in the sink (that don't go in the dishwasher) once or maybe twice a week.
He will load/run the dishwasher...and empty it sometimes.

None of these things are on any sort of schedule or obligation that we decided he would do __ x # of times per week or anything. He just notices when things need doing and does them sometimes.
Sometimes I just wish he would notice that the toilet paper roll is empty. ;)

My husband is not much on day-to-day cleaning, so he doesn't. BUT, he takes care of all the garbage, recycling, feeds the animals/cleans their food bowls and litter boxes, cleans the fish tanks, lizard tank, puts gas in the cars along with all car maintenance and yard work. He also does all minor repairs that he can around the house. Outside of the repair/gas stuff, he does these things without me telling him too.

I hate to grocery shop, so my husband does that. I give him a detailed list, which is sorted by aisle. My husband also does his own laundry, but I do everyone elses, including sheets and towels. My husband has done the dishes when I've asked him, but that is rare.

Hope this helps!

NADA baby!!!!! But he is a champ in that he never complains if the house is messy, he will do whatever system I have in place ie, puts his laundry in the basket by his side of the bed, etc. He does roll the trash to the curb and work his butt off to make a living for us so he is a keeper :D He deals with the lawn, either does it or hires it done and he deals with repairs for the cars. We are both up to our eyeballs in work so we just try to encourage each other in our respective roles. I do ask him to bathe the kids sometimes or to do things here and there and he always does it but I provide zero instruction, well he might beg to differ!!, but I try not to instruct I just let him do it his way and move on!!

He does the majority of dinner cooking. If he's home for the day he'll make breakfast and lunch too. I do dinner about 25% of the time, and usually the taste of it proves that he should have made it.
He can grocery shop alone, easily. Again, he's better and quicker and just enjoys it, though we end up doing it together most of the time.
Finances and bill paying are his deal. I'll listen in and take care not to overspend, but he pays the bills every month.
Cleaning is mostly my realm. I'm picky about how it gets done and no one can ever do it to my standards. He does help with the dishes a lot (and I've learned to stop nitpicking at his way of doing it.... even if he doesn't use enough soap....) and he puts the baby to bed most nights. Not that that is a chore or housework, but it's seriously appreciated after being home with him 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.
Laundry, bathrooms, floors, dusting... If I didn't do them they wouldn't get done. He isn't lazy, he just doesn't understand the need for cleaning things like that.

I don't instruct him on anything. If I do, he won't do it! He'll pick up the slack when he sees it getting bad, but mostly I'm just so appreciative and grateful to have a husband who cooks (and is better than me at it) and does the dishes and helps with the baby that I don't bug him to help me with cleaning.

A ton if I ask or tell him what needs to be done. On his own, NOTHING. Great with the kids but everything else not so much.

None . . . but he does provide a good living so that I can stay at home and homeschool my kids. For that I am extremely grateful. We view ourselves as a team. Neither one of us could do what we do without the other one.

That being said, he does do his own laundry, bless his heart (always has). He is also a wonderful dad and step-dad.

Well, he takes out the trash, and mows. He crushes the cans and takes the recycling to the center. If I ask him to, he will go switch the laundry to the dryer for me and carry it back upstairs...but he won't start a new load because apparently I have my "own way of doing laundry."

If he makes egg salad at night after I am in bed, I generally wake up to egg shells all over the counter. Dirty plate on the table...not in the sink. Dirty coffee filter next to the sink, instead of in the trash UNDER the sink. Dirty clothes behind the bathroom door, instead of in the hamper just around the corner from the bathroom. And the WORST?!? Empty toilet paper roll ON THE FLOOR IN THE BATHROOM instead of in the trash can under the sink...which you can reach while your butt is on the toilet.

But do I really care? Nope. The house is my job...providing for it is his. :)

Sometimes I wonder why stay-at-home women complain about doing all the stuff with the house. I keep my house immaculate and my chores done, have a six year old and a baby turning one...and I still don't spend more than a few hours a day on it. How many hours a day does husband work? If you look at it like that...I think if you stay at home, you ought to do the best you can do at it. Just my opinion, don't want to hear a lot of uproar.

Does sorting laundry and taking out the garbage count? :) He takes care of the mail and all the outside stuff (grass, snow removal, leaves, etc) too. Our nanny empties and fills the dishwasher most of the time and we have a maid every 3 weeks for a deep cleaning...so I mostly do the day to day upkeep in between, all the laundry except sorting (which he cons our 2.5 yo and almost 4 yo into doing under his direction), and all the cooking.

We both work full time and keep the same schedules. He does -- however, watch the kids so I can work out every morning -- in case they wake before I get home (even on weekends)...so, while we can't have everything, he gives me what I need :)

My husband does the yardwork (cutting grass, weedeating, edging, etc) and takes our trash out and hauls it to the convenience center each week. I don't have to tell or ask him to do either. He helps me with laundry when I ask him- I just tell him what settings to use, etc and he handles it. I do pretty much all of the house cleaning, trim the shrubs, and take care of the flower beds outside. We usually both go to the grocery store. He helps do the dishes after dinner and I cook. So, I'd say we're pretty even.

I do 75% of the cooking, he does 25% (on weekends). I do all the cleaning. He does all the yardwork and gardening (so I do the inside of the house, he does the outside). My husband is a very hard worker...works long hours & excels at his profession. His job is stressful. However, he is a very hard worker around the house. He never just watches tv on the weekends...he is gardening, fixing things, etc. He is always working on a project. He has never cleaned a toilet here & rarely empties the dishwasher...but these are really my "jobs" as I never mow the lawn or trim the bushes. I have no complaints with his housework...we've been married for almost 9 yrs.

ALL the routine daily maintenance. I'm serious. All the housework! He hasn't worked in 10 months, so he now takes care of the kids 3 or 4 days a week and while he's home with them he cleans thier rooms, does the dishes, the laundry, the floors. He even cleaned out the fridge yesterday! That's always been my job. Of course on the weekend, I do the serious toilet scrubbing deep clean stuff.
When he was working nights he would do the dishes everynow and then. He's always done the floors and kids rooms. I would do the laundry.

I'm a stay at home mom so I do most of the house work. However, if it needs to be done, he'll do it. My husband is waaay more anal about the house than I am, so he knows if he wants it done a "certain" way he's gonna have to do it.

Wow, I think I am getting the shaft! LOL
My husband has done some vacuuming....that's about it. He will occasionally cook dinner and I am usually the one that cleans up the mess. Kuddos to all the ladies on here that actually get help!

I should say that he does the trimming of the yard. Our son mows.

Trash when asked. Empties the dishwasher when reminded. Occasionally vacumes when asked. That's the nitty gritty!

Well, first off let me state our situation is a bit unusual, in great part because I've had some chronic health issues over the past few years, but also because we are both almost equally busy with outside of the home stuff. (I go to school full time in a very demanding field, my husband goes to school full time and works part time). So keep in mind this doesn't apply to everyone ...

We really try to be equal partners in the housework. We both do about as much picking up, vacuuming, etc. We made an arrangement that I make sure dishes are done, and he does laundry. But even there we will help each other out when it starts falling behind. So I would say that it's about 50-50 ... not counting what our kids do (they're a bit older: 12, 10, 7, so they have more responsibilities than little ones).

I do still need to remind him to do things most of the time. It's not like he can't see that the garbage is overflowing, but there isn't that immediate connection of "I need to take care of that" (guys minds work differently; there's nothing wrong with it, they just don't see things the same ways we do). His method of cleaning is also a bit different from mine, but I've learned to live with it - I'd rather have his help than not! I only give detailed instructions if it's a new job to him or I really want it done a certain way (I absolutely have to have my linen closet a specific way - he teases that I'm OCD, lol), but in general, if his way gets the job done as well as mine, it's all good.

My husband:

~Takes out the trash and the recycling.

~He is 'supposed' to be responsible for cleaning the front bathroom once every weekend - Really cleaning, like mopping/scrubbing the toilet/bathtub etc. but only really does it every 2 weeks or so, and in between I do the light wipe downs and such.

~He is 'supposed' to be responsible for the yard work and pool work but we have a grip of teenage boys and they do most of all that these days...so in reality he is responsible for delegating who gets what job outside.

That's it, that's all he 'has' to do!

We have lived in this house for 11 years and he has mopped the kitchen floor for me once and that was recently b/c I broke my elbow! He has un-loaded the dishwasher maybe a handful of times... *maybe*. He will occasionally cook a dinner...like very occasionally and it's always very complicated food, like home-made Chinese food or something!

**He does do a good job with keeping the garage clean. He can be a good 'helper' when I need him though, like for the big stuff...cleaning out the closets or rearranging the family room or reorganizing the kitchen cabinets and such. He also comes with me every weekend for BIG grocery shopping and helps put all the groceries away and cleaning out the fridge. He will also grab the laundry out of the dryer for me or switch the loads for me when I ask him to.

I blame his Mother, she never had him and his brother do ANYTHING growing up, so he believes housework to be the "Mom's job"!

when my husband and I first moved in with each other he said that if I always do the laundry he would always do the dishes. I thought "GREAT" I hate doing dishes.

I soon found out that his "always do the dishes" meant "always whenever I feel like doing the dishes" and my "always do the laundry" meant "always do the laundry plus ever other single solitary thing inside and out of the house, including childcare, cleaning, yardwork, snow removal, and car care"

He will on occasion switch a load of laundry but no way will he fold it. And he will cook sometimes, but wont clean up after himself until he feels like it, which could be DAYS.

My mom told me AFTER the fact, that all the things you do for him in that first year he will expect for the rest of his life. I wish I would have know that sooner!

He makes up the bed every morning, cleans the kitchen about once a week, cooks almost every night and most mornings, all yard work, all garbage stuff... and vacuums and dusts downstairs (the man cave) about once a month or so. Also, he does most of the grocery shopping. I do most of the daily cleaning and I am not sure if he knows what a washing machine is for.
Yup, I'm pretty spoiled!!!

I love my husband and how much he helps me out. Since I work a min. of 60 hours a week and he works about 50 hours a week we both have to help with the house work. He always mows and does the trash and I always do the laundry and vaccum, but everything else is split. I feel that since I really married my best friend that we make an awesome team together.

I'm incredibly lucky - My husband works in the restaurant biz, so his weekends fall during the week. He does all the laundry on his days off, so I only have to do a couple of loads on the weekend. We have a lady come in and clean for us once every two weeks, so he will do a "quick" clean of everything on his days off as well. As far as cooking, I do 3 nights, he does 3, and we have leftovers on Wednesday's, which is the night before trash day. He also does all the lawn work. On the weekend I am usually on my own with both kids, so he tries to make that as easy as possible for me.

Molly:

My husband does the following:

takes out the trash and Sundays and Wednesdays - recycling too.
brings laundry baskets down
takes laundry baskets upstairs
On Friday nights - fixes dinner for the boys and puts the stuff in the dishwasher
he mows the yard - maybe once a week or when it's needed
he fixes the stuff i break (good thing he's an engineer!! and a great handy man!)
If he thinks about it - he will pull the bed covers up when he gets out of bed.
puts his dirty clothes INTO the hamper not on the floor (now we just need to work on MY putting them in the hamper!)
he will do grocery shopping too...

I'm sure there's more - but I just don't keep count!!

What a wonderful question to share stats on! :)

My hubby is very helpful around the house. I am a SAHM, and he works 12 hrs a day for 5 days. Still, he takes out the trash regularly, and baby-sits around dinner time, and puts her to sleep some days. So I don't bug him to do any housework much.
Luckily, he has his own principles of maintaining a clean home. So, come weekends, he likes to do the vacuum and doesn't mind cleaning up the bathroom as well (we share that task now and then). He pitches in most of the maintenance work during weekends, we do grocery shopping together, he manages our daughter, etc. On days he goes out of his way to help me with some chores, I reward him with a gourmet dinner and dessert. That does the trick, most time! :)

On his own, he will clear the table, take out the trash, and sometimes do the dishes or vacuum. Everything else I do or ask him to help me with. I am lucky- he is a clean freak=)

Your post made me remember these polls I had seen on SkinnyScoop that are pretty interesting to check out the stats and show your husband:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/2307?utm_campaig...

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/1222?utm_campaig...

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/2875?utm_campaig...

LOL! Now that the weather is getting nice my husband bolts outside to do "projects". Although I also work full time I tend to do more of the housework. I am not one to give a "honey do" list to him as he does do a lot of "stuff" that I am not able to like tile our bathroom. I wish he did more but I am a busy body and just do it. When I am exhausted or feel overwhelmed I do express that I need his help but he doesn't always take initiative. I think women can multi task so much better than men can so I think there is just something in us that makes us "beter" as housework. Oh and he does do the laundry but can't seem to figure out how to fold it or put it away - LOL! Drives me nuts.

My husband is a stay at home dad, while I work and I feel like I still do more than him. He's great with the yard work in the summer months, and we do live in Texas. I never have to do any of that. He does pick up the house every once in awhile, especially when he knows there will be someone coming over. He does the floors in the house, deep cleans them maybe every 3-4 months. I do all the dishes, and laundry. We take turn doing meals, but I still feel like I cook more than him. I do like to cook but on the weekends when I'm not working. I usually do the bathroom cleaning every few months, but every once in awhile he'll do the shower. I do the toilets.

not enough. He does the trash which he is good about. He will do dishes like 4 times a month, vacuum like twice a month if that and he doesnt do anything else and cook like once a month. And he claims that he has all the outside work like mowing, fixing whats broken, shoveling but he doesnt do the inside chores as much as i would like for him to.

My husband works fulltime and I am a SAHM. He does the dishes after dinner about 90% of the time. He puts his dirty clothes in hamper, he puts his laundry away after I fold/hang, he helps bathe the kids, helps pick up toy room, cleans off the kitchen bar (which is mostly his stuff), and he does everything outside. I do most of the cooking and cleaning.

My husband cooks almost every night and every weekend morning. He takes out the trash, cleans the bathrooms, takes care of all the "handy work" around the house, mows the lawn, and does the "weekly" mopping.

I am a SAHM, so I take care of all the daily housework, and I'm the one who primarily cleans up the kitchen and takes care of the laundry - but almost everything else I get help with. We have a 25-month-old, and I'm 30 weeks pregnant, so I've been getting even more help from him lately in regard to chores. He has taken over the grocery shopping (because it's too exhausting for me to do alone with a toddler). He also has taken over the ironing of his work shirts because it causes me pain to stand in one place for too long. I still take care of all the finances and bill paying. I am also the one who tends to our son the majority of the time during weekdays (diaper changes, baths, picking up toys, etc) although he helps a lot during weekends. I'm very fortunate to have husband who works hard to support our family and also helps me out so much. Very thankful for him!

HAHAHAHAAAA!!! What?! Husbands do housework?! Sign mine up!!

Sorry, it's funny (and not funny) to ME. My guy has 2 jobs and 1 is seasonal... cut the grass and take out the trash.... well our lawnmower broke and my garbage can is overflowing, go figure.

I have to constantly remind him not only to take out the trash, but to REPLACE THE BAG. He really doesn't do ANYTHING else. Drives me insane.

My KIDS can get dirty clothes in the hamper and dirty dishes in the sink... my man can not. I am not his mom, I'm not cleaning up after him!! Grrr.

almnost nothing. But he does have a bath with our son every night and read him morning and bed time stories and I do not work (husband works 60-80hrs a week)

my fiance does nil... well i take that back. if we make an appointment and someone is going to come to the house, and i've gotten behind.. he will do dishes.. but that is once in a great blue moon. usually its just me doing the housework. and its impossible to get the kids to clean their rooms... some weeks i will just give up... but normally all the responsibility is on me.

Honestly, more than he should, since I only work weekends.

We really are about 50/50 I think. He does all of the house cleaning, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, etc. We take turns making dinner, he cuts the grass, I do the grocery shopping, we split the laundry up usually. I do more kids-related stuff just because I'm home every evening & he works a lot of late shifts, but otherwise, it's fairly even.

Barely any. He makes sure the lawn is trimmed and the pool is clean and nothing else. Yes, it is completely unfair but I won't divorce him over just this.

my husband does all the yard work and around the house stuff (however he mainly does those on his own schedule and if I mention it he says he "has things to do to.") about once a week he will load and unload the dishwasher and if I have somewhere to go on the weekend and he stays home with our son, generally he will pick up the house.

my husband hasn't run the vaccum, done laundry, or cleaned the bathroom since we met. I really have no idea if he would ever do it if I didn't. He also has problems finding the trashcan in the kitchen, wiping down surfaces, and finding the laundry basket. HOWEVER- if I say- I could really use some help with the house tomorrow morning, he will generally pick everything up so I can clean to my own level of satisfaction.

Do I wish he would help more- yes- but I have realized that there are things that are important to me and so if I want them done, I will just need to do them myself.

We both work full time jobs, so we tend to share the house work. I wash, sort, fold and put up all the laundry. In return he cleans the bathrooms. I hate cleaning bathrooms! I do most of the cooking, but he cleans up the kitchen afterwards. We split dusting, vacuuming and mopping. He told me when we got married that he'll do all the yard work if I do the grocery shopping. With pleasure! We have two sons. We each bathe our "designated one" a night. I get the boys to bed and he gets them up and going in the morning. Wow...after typing all this, I realize I am one lucky woman!!

My husband is very helpful. Some times because I ask him but most of the time just because it needs to get done. He will take out the trash, do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, vacuum occasionally, bathes the kids, does all the yard work (mowing the lawn, shoveling the snow) and does laundry. He will cook occasionally but I do most of the cooking. We both do all of it but he does help alot. I appreciate him more than I could ever tell him...
He is a great man, and I dont know what I did to get so lucky!!

My husband is actually great with the housework for the most part. He does the heavier stuff that causes a lot of problems for my fibromyalgia.

On his own I don't think he would do anything! But usually on the weekends if I start cleaning he'll chip in and help. So I have to start and make him feel guilty, but hey, at least he helps. there are things he won't do because they're "too hard" - he scrubbed our bathtub out once while I was pregnant and complained about his back for weeks. Needless to say even when I was 9 months along I was in there scrubbing. (he has good intentions and says he'll do things... then when I remind him I get in trouble for nagging... can't win!)
However, since we've had the baby he's been better at doing the baby's laundry now and then and picking up more. But last week he cleaned most of the house while I was at work and I think he thought he deserved a gold plaque or something. Awesome of him, but like we don't do that every week??? :-)

My husband will do anything I ask him to do. He'll do dishes on his own, fold laundry and run the vacuum and take out the trash. Anything else I have to ask, but he'll do anything I ask him to. He's Awesome! :-)

Mine does all the laundry and takes out the trash cans and recycle and brings them back up. He is responsible for his bathroom and most of the basement family room. ALSO he unloads the dishwasher. I load and clean the kitchen, upstairs living/dining room, bedroom and my bathroom. I also do most of the yard work (because I enjoy it).

He does just as much as me. Sometimes more. We both work a lot but for some reason, he seems to be able to get more done on his days off than I do. I would never think of giving him instructions, he's a grown man and I am not his mommy!! :)

Who ever gets to it first does it. I couldn't tell you the actual division of labor. I think it is about equal.

Before everyone gets all aren't you lucky, this includes "mans" work. On Monday I moved a truck load of topsoil to the new garden bed cause I got home from work first. He will spend most of this weekend up in the attic installing the new whole house fan because it has become his "project".

Like I said equal. :)

Well, my fiance, (we live together), does way more than he probably should, actually. He is a work-aholic.

I work 3 days per week, and I am gone for 12 hours on those days, so not much gets done by me on those days... but the other 4 days, I am home, so I feel like that's plenty of time for ME to get MOST of the housework done.

My fiance, on the other hand, works his "normal job" afternoon shift, 5 days a week, but he also has his own business building and rebuilding engines, mostly for race cars, so he usually gets up and out of the house around 7 a.m. and goes to his shop. Oh, and on his 2 days off, he is also usually spending at least some of the day working at his business also...

But he still manages to clean up the kitchen pretty regularly, cooks way more than I do since I don't really know how (it's an excuse, I know... I'm working on it, people! - lol), he cuts the grass, takes out the trash, puts loads of laundry in and takes stuff out of the dryer (but puts it in a pile on the bed for me to put away, which I think is TOTALLY FAIR and I don't mind it at all), he washes and maintains our vehicles, occasionally runs the sweeper, and still finds time to spend at least a good chunk of time, at least one day a week doing something fun or relaxing with me and my son.

Yep, he's pretty much a superman. I mean, I know he does a lot... but when I actually start listing things, I wonder where he finds time to do it all. And he NEVER complains about any of it. He just does it. And I don't have to ask. In fact, sometimes I tell him to stop and just leave it for me, but he refuses and says he needs to help around the house too, which makes me feel a little guilty because I have so much more time at home, so I feel that it is the least I can do to maintain the home, while he is out making money so we can be secure and comfortable. But he insists. So I reluctantly concede.

And after all this on a nearly daily basis, he still has the energy and desire for sex at the end of, well, every day! Go figure... I wish I had some of his energy and stamina!!!

But I am very lucky and thankful to have him... he's a gem!

He takes care of the garbage (taking full garbage out to the garbage can, putting in a new bag, taking garbage out on garbage day, bringing it in) He does all yardwork except pulling weeds, that's my job :( and every night before the kids go to bed he helps me with the toy and kitchen clean up. He doesn't mind cooking if I ask him to and sometimes I don't feel like doing his laundry so he will do that too. I asked him at one point to help me out more with chores around the house and he did, but then I regretted it because I have a certain way of doing things and I would just end up doing it the "right way" after he already did it. I appreciated the effort so much, but I would rather do most of the things around the house.

my husband works nights, and I'm a SAHM. I view this as my job, (and i guess he does, too.) My husband only does yardwork. He used to give the kids a bath, too, but not anymore since they bathe themselves. I cook, clean, take out the trash, feed the animals, pick up/drop off kids, do laundry, etc.

zero
I do all, trash, mowing, yard work, fixing, laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking.
My husband does not and never has so much as washed a dish.
He thinks that coz he goes to work, and I am home, it is my job.
Now and again ( I am talking monthly) he will help to pick up the toys a little, and will put the baby to bed a few times a week, she is 3, so it doesn't involve more than lying next to her in the bed for a few mins. I don't mean bathe her or anything, he doesn't do anything like that.

my husband helps out... we partner up to do dinner dishes, and he takes out the garbage and takes care of litter boxes and "pet stuff." (we rent from his parents, and technically they aren't OUR pets anyways- plus I am pregnant and am not supposed to do litter boxes) Oh, and we go grocery shopping as a family.

I do most everything else...(vaccuming, cooking, sweeping, laundry, diapers, bathroom, kitchen, "childcare" etc.) and i know it sounds bad, but i stay at home and he works... with 3 hours of driving to commute back and forth every day! So really, I cannot complain. We team up on the weekends to "deep clean" and work on projects and he often cooks breakfast on his days off....

When we used to both work full time, we did 50/50 as far as housework goes. I still feel like things are fair, and i feel really blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter.

When I ask him to do something I usually don't have to nag. He is SO sweet to me though, and is being so nice on the days that I don't get the bed made... or when the laundry "falls behind". When you are really pregnant- it gets HARD- I just want to sleep, and chasing a two year old is work enough for me! And he doesn't say a word- now that is LOVE!

BTW- I think constant nagging backfires. You "become" your husband's "mom" - and he reverts back to lazy teenager... Instead, I don't say a word for a while if he keeps forgetting to do his "part" and USUALLY he gets the "hint" when he realizes that the garbage compactor cannot take one more paper towel before it just "gives up" - Then I say... "you know... that trash won't walk itself out to the curb..." - A few times when he has to carry 100 lb garbage bags out and he suddenly doesn't need nagging anymore! It is like magic for me- go figure? But... usually a very friendly reminder does the trick... because I keep in mind that he is human, and even I forget to get things done every once in a while... especially when I am busy. And I say "thank you!" no matter how small the task that he does... and he thanks me for what I do- and so we both feel appreciated!

Good Luck!
-M.

My soon to be husband, works from early a.m., I like to do everything, but he does do the laundry (I fold) & occassionally vaccuums, & does empty the dishwasher. I dont expect it tho, and tell him not to do it.. he just does anyways.

Mine does everyone's laundry on a weekly basis. He also loads and unloads the dishwasher and cooks. He will occassionally do the grocery shopping, does all the fix it jobs, and things to do with the car. He also does the fish tank, and takes care of the trash/ recycling. He's a full time law student. I work full time. Before the baby, we would spend half a weekend day blitzing the apartment clean (dusting, vaccuming, moping, wiping the sills and baseboards, cleaning the tub etc). Now we have a maid service come by every 3 weeks for a deep clean.

We are both tidy. The baby hasn't started crawling yet.

Apart from sponging down the kitchen counters, and giving the sink a quick wipe, I don't do any housework.

If this is causing you real heartache, you might want to create a jobs list. it should include jobs, and how often they need to be done. it should be detailed so there isn't any ambiguity. i.e. laundry means - strip and change linens, collect towels and bathmat, collect dishrags, collect laundry from hampers, do the laundry, fold the laundry, put it away. each of you should then look at the list and identify 1. those things that you like doing. 2. those things that you dislike doing. 3. those things that youlike or dislike doing, but insist on being done a certain way. then you divvy the list. you should each take on the jobs that fall in your third category. The rest all need to be accounted for, and there is room for negotiation on those.

color code and post your list. this method was in the "his needs, her needs" book, and it makes for a more peacefull existence. Also, it ensured that when you think you are "helping" your partner, that you do so by taking on a job that they dislike doing, earning you the most brownie points. No sense putting the socks away, only to find your spouse then re-arranging their sock drawer b/c they like them a certain way.

good luck

My husband does quite a bit around the house, but mostly on his terms and in his own way. For example, it's important to him to fold laundry immediately upon taking it out of the dryer, but I find it more efficient to put it neatly in a laundry basket and then have a big "folding party" with all of the loads while watching TV (this is about the only time I watch TV). I might not get around to folding it the same day. That bugs him. So, he does his own laundry, and some of the towels it we're running low, which means there's less laundry for me to do.

He doesn't care if the dog hair on the floor gets an inch deep, so he almost never vacuums. I care, so I do it. He probably would never clean a bathroom until it started to stink. So, I do that.

So, all in all, he is very helpful as far as the amount of work he does around the house, I've just had to learn to "let go" and roll with the kind of help he's willing to give. He does the tasks that he normally does without any reminding.

I have learned that giving instructions is counter productive for many men, especially mine! If we're having company or a party at our house, I'll make a list of the tasks that need to be done, and then ask him which he'd like to do (notice I do not ask WHETHER he'd like to do any). Then, I'll give the kids choices among the tasks they can handle.

With most men, it helps to act like you believe them to be completely competent for getting the tasks done without instructions, and only answer questions that they ask. If they don't do a great job or do it in a different way than you want, live with it if you can. They'll feel insulted if you go back and do it "better", and face it, does it really matter if he folds the towels into a different shape than you do? His pride matters more. Also, some will purposely do a substandard job so that you won't ask him again.

My husband does most of the yard work and pool care, but I do most of the cooking and social obligations (gift buying, organizing, etc.), so it pretty much evens out with the amount of time we both contribute to household tasks.