How Long Does It Take for a Toddler to Adjust to a New Sibling?

My kids are 2 years apart as well. See if you can find the Franklin cartoon where Franklin gets a new baby sister. For some strange reason, immediatly after watching that, my son walked over and looked at his sister and finally accepted her. He had no interest in her before that. He just asked me, "is this MY baby sister?" It was so cute. They get along really good now. Good luck!! :-)

it depends on the kid. my oldest was terrible when my second was born. i had to keep the baby out of his reach or he would hit him. but when their sister was born, they were both fantastic. just a little bit of jealousy from the 3 yr old, but nothing too bad. my first 2 are 2 years apart and maybe that had something to do with his bad behavior. something that seemed to help was to set aside specific things for my oldest to do when i nursed the baby. like i would encourage him to play with the toys that usually he couldn't have out with the baby around. i would put on a book on tape or music to keep him company and put snacks on the table so he had his needs covered. sometimes i would say, "i'm going to feed/change/bathe the baby in a few minutes. is there something you need me to do before i do that?" also, my husband had to spend more time with the older children. taking them out of the house, wrestling, reading books, whatever. still with all this, at times i just had to lock my oldest in his room while he threw a screaming fit, then talk with him about acceptable behavior when he calmed down. good luck!

C.,

When was 1981? I have been adjusting to younger siblings since then:) (I'm the oldest of 6).
No seriously, I think that they will continue to adjust to one another. My two kids are 18 months apart and everyday, they adjust in new ways. What gets me through are the times when they are so excited to see one another that they can't contain it (like when my youngest is standing in his crib, sees his sister come in and falls over in happiness.) Do what you can do give each child some alone time (it may seem impossible now but little moments work).
Best of luck,
M. P
Mom of 2 (28 mo old girl and 10 month old boy)

It can vary for each child as to how long it can take. Some suggestions that have worked for me.....the nursing stuff that the previous post mentions work great...have things that she can do only when you are feeding the baby. I also found that I was telling the older siblings to wait a lot...wait I have to feed/change/burb the baby. So I would sometimes tell the baby to wait because I have to ______ for their older sibling. The older children thought that that was soo cool that I was telling the baby to wait for them. Find ways for her to get involved in the care for the baby, bringing diapers, letting her pick out the new outfit to wear, things that make her feel like she is a big girl. Good luck.
J.--SAHM of 6

In my experience, I've noticed a rough patch of about a month to six weeks. Reading to the older children while I nursed the baby made a big difference since I could also pay attention to my older ones. Keeping a little basket of special prizes such as new books and stickers and snacks and small toys such as cars or tray puzzles near my recliner helped because I could offer something novel while I nursed the baby. I also did a lot of what another mom already suggested--make sure your your older daughter gets to hear to ask the baby the wait a minute, too, while you help her. BUT, I believe it is good for children to see how attentive we are to our babies--you can remind her that taking care of this baby reminds her of taking care of her, and talk about how glad you were to welcome her into the family. Watching you care for the baby can help her understand how you cared for her, too.
My children (I have three boys) really liked having a baby doll to hold and carry in a sling and help bathe.
Go easy on the "big sister" and "you're a big girl" stuff because 22 months old is still quite a baby. All the "you're big now, you don't need this" talk is likely to make her feel pushed aside, not encouraged.
We go on "dates" with our kids as often as we can, and when there is a new baby these dates get short and simple but I believe they are still valuable. For example, I might leave the baby and other child with my husband and take one son to the store to help me choose an ice cream treat for the family (and pick up some essentials). I think this kind of individual time helps diffuse some resentment.
Do you have a sling carrier for the baby? It's nice to be able to tuck the baby in a sling and still go for a walk or to the library or even just do laundry and make lunch with your older child while letting your baby stay happy and snuggled and dozing.
The best things I ever read were "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk" and the companion book by the same authors, "Siblings Without Rivalry." They ar ein paperback and probably at your library and just may save your sanity and help you eliminate the fussing.
Congratulations on your growing family!

My girls are 31 months apart so almost three years. My oldest was terrible even when I was pregnant, she used to kick my belly and tell me she didn't want baby sister to come out. And when I brought my new baby home she ran up to me and hit me as hard as she could right in my cesarian incision! I was devistated! As I fell to my knees in pain I wondered what was the appropiate way to deal with this new change in my perfect first born! I of course wanted to lash out because she hurt me and I was in so much pain and astonishment to her reaction! But I slowly got back up and explained to her that she hurt me and that I had a BIG owie, and that I loved her VERY much and I promised her things would be ok. She also just feel deep into the terrible two's! Worse than she already was, she doesn't mind at all, and really acts out in public! It's very hard! One thing that did happen for the better was my oldest suddenly wanted to be potty trained! She became competely potty trained in about a week!
So now my baby is almost 4 months old and things are a lot better, however it can still be very hard! I also find that I'm asking my oldest to wait ALOT! I never thought of what the other moms have suggested in telling the baby to wait! That's great I'm going to have to try that one!
Some things that have helped me are doing my best to get the oldest involved in taking care of the baby, explaining that the baby's needs are much like her needs and that mommy is doing to best she can to take care of them both so that they stay healthy and happy. She seems to understand that well. I also make sure I spend one on one time with my oldest and do special things with her that she knows the baby can't do, like bake, and go swimming, and coloring. The next milestone will be getting them to share a room, Autumn (oldest) refuses to let her sister sleep in HER room, lol. So you see there will always be ups and downs, and stress like you've never felt before in your life. But we as mommies are strong and will always conquer!
Good Luck and Congratulations!

We have 5 kids. My oldest daughter had trouble adjusting EACH time a new baby was born. The other kids adjusted within a few weeks.

My boys were a little further apart than your girls (27 mo), but my oldest still wasn't happy with the baby until the baby started to respond to him. Like the other moms said, I told the baby, "You have to wait while I help Max!" When the baby napped, I tried to devote quality time with the older one. Then we started doing activities that only the big brother could do and that really made my oldest proud to be the big brother. As the baby got closer to a year, the jealously eased up tremendously because they would do separate activities. When they did come back together, they just wanted to play by each other. It's a balancing act, but it gets easier over time. Before you know it, your girls will be off playing together being little girls:)

It took about 2 months for my daughter to get used to the idea of another baby. When I was feeding my son, she would sit next to me and try to push him on the floor or she would try to kick him in the head. Things that worked for us were reading her a book while I fed him, or if she tried to hit or kick, I would grab her hand and say "no, we need to be soft anf gentle" and I would show her with her hand what soft and gentle was. If she still wasn't nice, she had to sit on the floor. After a few weeks, she started to realize that baby wasn't going anywhere and she was spending a lot of time sitting on the floor instead of with mommy reading a book. She got the message. And she was just a bit younger than yours is now. Good luck! This too shall pass.