How Do You Keep Grandpa's Memory Alive??

Don't leave him out of stuff. So many times people just feel bad saying that person's name or telling something they would have said in a certain circumstance. Such as "Wow, granddad would have a lot to say about this" or "Dad would have liked this game, I miss him".

No one mentions my mother in law at all. I bring her up all the time. I loved her and I miss her every day.

Hugs! They will never forget him because you will keep his memory alive. I love the idea below about the picture with a quote. We lost my husband's brother very suddenly and I think I will use that idea for his siblings.

We planted a tree in honor of my MIL. She died when my daughter was a toddler and my son never knew her. I had my son on her birthday (had to be induced) so he hears every year that we know Grandma is celebrating both their birthdays. My daughter loves strawberries and so did Grandma. She will say when she's eating them that she must have gotten that from Grandma. We tell funny stories about both of them. The kids will ask us to retell stories.

Blessings to you as you walk through this. I am so sorry you lost your dad. He sounds like a very special person. You were blessed indeed.

L.

I think that over time, you just talk about him, share pictures, etc. Share things he loved. Point out to them when they do something he would have liked, or when they remind you of him. Remember the good times and good memories. My grandfather died before my DD was born, but she knows about him from pictures and jokes and other memories the family passes around.

I'm sorry that you lost your father. These memories and sadnesses keep coming up at expected and unexpected times, so "go with it" and don't try to push the grief away. There's no timetable on that.

Keep doing what you are doing - tell stories about him, what he did with the kids, what he did when you were a kid, where you went on vacations, funny jokes or stories he used to tell, what he would think of X or Y that the kids did (stuff they drew or built or said), etc. Make a scrapbook (regular or on line) to collect the memorabilia you have.

My son didn't know either of his grandfathers, and one grandmother died when he was 18 months old. He's now in his 20s. You'd think he'd know nothing. But if you ask him about them, he can tell you their funny expressions, what they liked, what Grammy said about him, how his grandfathers would have loved his construction and engineering skills, where they went on trips or served in the military, and so on. That comes with endless repetition over many years. But it's there, and it's embedded in his brain, and it will get passed on to his children one day. So in a way, memories are created and not just retained - he has no real memory of these people but he talks about them.

You'll know it when your kids say something like, "As Grandpa used to say…" or "Hey Mom, remember when Grandpa took you to the lake and you caught that huge fish?", you'll see the value of the time you spent talking about it for years! You don't have to do this every day or even every week, but consistently and periodically.

I'd also suggest that you save a number of your father's things for them - we have paperweights and old license plates and books and so on, a watch, some of Grammy's serving pieces and knick-knacks, souvenirs from their trips, etc. So do put things away even if it's in the safety deposit box. Even some old clothes can be dress up clothes or Halloween costumes, and it's a nice thing to do.

I know a woman who had a party for her parents anniversary and had birthday cake. They also wrote a notebook of special memories and would read them out loud.
When my sister died, it was verhard for me and bought a nice notebook and wrote down a lot of memories. It was not in any kind of order and does not have to be. Just going back and reading what I recalled was very comforting. Unfortunately, my kids had no idea about the notebook as she died several years before they were born and accidently dropped it in a bucket of water while we were moving things around and cleaning-it fell out of a box I put things in. It was ruined. But I do still have my memories.

Share stories and have the kids share their stories. Put up a few pictures around the house. Did your dad have a activity? Do it as a family from time to time and announce it as Grandpa's activity day. At each holiday serve his favorite food and make sure everyone knows it.

Put up a couple pictures in the kid's rooms of their grandparents. Make a memorial garden and have grandpa's favorite things be a part of it.

Do you have any of his old shirts? A friend of mine had teddy bears made from her dad's old shirts for her kids. She also had pillows made for her siblings and herself.

I also like the idea of planting a tree.

You can buy journals that grandparent can fill out. Although your dad can't do it, maybe you could use one for ideas. You, your mom, your dad's siblings, your siblings, your kids, etc. can write down their memories.

I don't know if you belong to a denomination that observes All Saints Day (the day after Halloween) but many denominations will light candles in memory of those who have died. You could even do it in your home. My cousins still take flowers to my grandparents' graves on Memorial Day. You could also do it on his birthday, Father's Day, Grsndparent's Day and other special days.

Peace to all of you.

Awwww...I'm sorry for your loss.
I think talking about him (although prob hard especially for you & your mom) is the very best thing.
Just grab paper & pencil and have the kids tell you memories they have of him--favorite foods, activities, smells, clothing, habits, books, papers, vacation memories, etc., and see where it goes. Might turn into a "Grandpa Collage" or a little skit...
Good luck.

One family I worked for has a very special ritual: they celebrate grandma's birthday each year. Their youngest child was born after her grandmother had died and this is a wonderful way for the family to honor and remember her. Photos might come out, memories and fun stories of her life would be told. This ritual has also been a catalyst for working through the emotions and questions which come up as children learn to understand and accept death. This family also gave each child a double-frame (holds two pictures) with a photo of their Omi (grandmother) on one side and a favorite quote of hers--something that represented her perspective on life and kindness in the other frame.

You can also create a little spot in your home for some pics of the kids and your family with Grandpa while he was alive... these memories are a treasure.

We tell stories about, look at pictures of and periodically visit the graves of our deceased family members.

Album, memory stones/garden, having your children reflect about their grandfather through artwork, letters and then frame it for them to keep. I keep a couple cards my own grandmother sent to me for my son. Things if theirs that they can hold onto. Little momento for each child. I have ties from each of my grandfathers who have passed. My son has a pair of cufflinks. Things like that to me are so special.

We talk about my dad all of the time and visit his grave with my siblings once a month. The kids take the opprtunity to tell a couple of updates at the gravesite. We still celebrate his birthday with baking or putting a cupcake or something in front of his pic. But most of all, talking about memories keeps so much engrained in the kids' lives. Also what Gamma G said about commenting how Grandad would think something was funny or how proud he would he about something. Sorry to hear about your loss.