How Do You Keep from Going Crazy?

Updated on August 01, 2008
J.M. asks from Framingham, MA
35 answers

I feel a little silly asking this, but I'm having an "off" day and could use a little encouragement, if it's out there. Anyone else feel like they sometimes are just running in a loop? I just look around the house, and the toys that I just cleaned up are all over the place again, the laundry that I just washed is already dirty, the dishes that just went through the dishwasher have been eaten off of, and dinner needs to be cooked again! I do try to get out of the house and do something with my little ones every day, but even that is starting to feel like something else to be "ticked" off the list. I am a teacher and home for the summer, so the SAHM role is just a temporary one for me, but even when I go back to work this sometimes happens. Any suggestions for how to get out of a rut? thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Oh, I went to crazy as quickly as possible. See, once you're there you worry a lot less about the trip. LOL.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Hartford on

I have to agree with the two previous posters. I have been a SAHM since my oldest was born 4 1/2 years ago. I, too, was a teacher. I was looking forward to this my entire life. And then reality set in. I was miserable at first, but after about 7 months I devised a "schedule" of sorts for us. No, we don't follow it exactly every single day, but it is there as a guide. Once we added a second child, things were thrown out-of-whack for a while, but I incorporated her into the system as well (okay, so more like I tweeked the schedule to fit her needs, too). With a guideline of how the day should go, it makes it easier on all of us. Each weekday I get to the gym in the morning (they have caretakers for the kids), come home for the little one to nap; afternoon activity (different each day); dinnertime; get ready for bedtime; the all-important...... bedtime! Weekends start with a low-key family morning, then I usually do the laundry, housework, get things out of the way to make other parts of the day easier. Yes, it does sometimes feel like I am on a treadmill that I can't get off of. So I toss it up a little. The occasional day off from the gym will allow us to get to the playground, or go for a swim, or go to a special store that we don't normally visit.

Honestly, I like the feeling of checking off a list because at the end of the day, I can see what I have accomplished. No longer do I have students or other teachers to give me positive (or negative) feedback on what I have done. Babies don't do that for you. They appreciate you, no doubt, but they can't always say what a great job you did disinfecting the doorknobs all over the house. In fact, one of my doctors actually recommended that I not only have a list, but add to it each time I did something like the doorknobs all day. That way I would have a clear idea of what I did--and so would my husband. Being a SAHM doesn't mean that you are playing all day. It is a lot of work, and it is good for both you and your husband to literally see all that you have done at the end of a long day with the kids.

Plus, I believe the character in mythology who demonstrated this whole idea was Sysiphus (sp?). Constantly rolling the huge boulder up the hill each day, only to find himself back at the bottom having to do it all over again. When I start feeling this way, that is when I begin to write out the list of every single little thing that I have completed during the day--yes there is routine, but I certainly don't do exactly the same things every single day.

Before I forget--I truly agree with what others have said about getting out yourself. You need time with your husband without kids; you need time with other friends--with and without your husband; and you just plain need time by yourself. It can be difficult to balance it all, but well worth the effort.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Boston on

HI,

I can't count the number of times I've wanted to ask other mothers this question too. I have three little ones ( 5 yrs, 3 yrs, and 20 months) and I don't do all the housework (live with MIL), and I'm home all the time with the kids, and still I'm think I'm losing it.

I don't have any concrete advice except that I just bought a book, The Preschooler's Busy Book by Trish Kuffner. (there's one for toddlers too) It basically contains 365 activities to do with your kids. Some are so simple that, you read and think, gosh, why didn't I think of that. And some are so out there that you know the author was having a desperate moment, like the suggestions for pillow toss (throw it at a moving object) and mud painting! But for all of us trying to stay sane, it's nice to have something that someone else did the brainstorming for. And it was cheap, too (on Amazon)!

Good luck, and remember, you are not alone.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from New London on

If you find the answer to that question let me know!I feel at times the only way to get out of the rut is to take time for yourself.Get a sitter,have dad watch the ittle ones and go out with the girls,take a class thats just for you,go shopping ,go to Starbucks and read a book.Trust me the dishes will be there when you get back,the laundry too but you need to break the routine up so it doesn't feel like all your doing is taking care of the kids and cleaning house.I am just realizing that this is what I need to do as well.Unfortunately in all our efforts to take care of everyone else we forget ourselves.It starts to feel as if the days are blurring together.I am also trying to get better about thinking out easy meals,freezing dinners and delegating cleaning chores.It's ok sometimes to have frozen chicken nuggets and fries for dinner if its to contribute to your sanity.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Portland on

When I quit my job to stay home with my son I felt the same way. I used to tell my husband, "I feel like I'm shoveling in a blizzard!!" I would wake up and say, "Gee, what will I do today, laundry or dishes?" and then I wouldn't get to either because I was either sick of it or my toddler got into something constantly making it impossible to move forward.

I did join a Mom's group that really helped but I always felt a little "outcasty" because I was a career Mom turned SAHM and didn't seem to enjoy it as much as they did. (i.e. I bought my cookies while they made them). They shared stories of how they scrimp and save and it made me miss my income! LOL

I finally just realized it wasn't for me and went back to work. I feel much more balanced now. We all do our things and have great family time at night. Chores are a family affair, etc.

Being a Mom whether a working Mom or SAHM is an incredibly hard job and does not come easy for most people. Most people may love it, but it's not easy. I think we all feel stuck in a rut from time to time. Sometimes switching it up doesn't help because motherhood is what it is...a lot of work! :-)

It's hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes I know...Another thing that helps me stay balanced and out of a rut is I do something for myself once a week...scrap booking club. It's a bunch of Mom's, we meet at Town Hall and scrap for 3 hours. We call it Scrap n Yap and the rule is, what we say in scrap, STAYS in scrap ;-) But that time with them is precious to me and my husband gets alone time with the 3 kidlets. Once a week my husband has bowling and I get my alone time. It's our special night where we break some rules together (breakfast for dinner, stay up later than bedtime, etc. ;)

I think getting time to be just you might do you a world of good. We need to still feel like the grown ups we are!

Hugs to you!

EDITING TO ADD A HUG FOR ALL THE OTHER MAMAS THAT RESPONDED TO THIS THREAD

(((((((((MAMASOURCE MAMAS))))))))))

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Boston on

My trick: Plan to get out of the house the night before. Here's what you do:

1. Check the weather and decide what your plan will be.
2. Decide on a morning destination, then a park for lunch.
3. Clean up, run the dishwasher and empty it - before going to bed.
4. While you're waiting for the dishwasher, make a snack, a lunch, and pack a bag for the next day. Clothes, sunscreen, the essentials.

We wake up, have breakfast and get out. Hitting the library, running a quick errand, then going to the park for a picnic lunch, flying kites, etc.

These kind of easy summer activities get you out of the house, then the house stays clean (no one is home to mess it up!) and wears out the kids!

Enjoy your summer!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Boston on

here are some things that work for me:

- realizing that all this is precious lifetime, being mindful of all the details and how this is actually delicious. I see all that time as "me-time". This only works when i am not totally low down.
- Making a list of things to be grateful for in my mind. (this works almost always)
- stopping in my steps to be mindful of my breath and the moment totally. E.g. smelling the rain, noticing the beauty of my children, stretching pleasantly, rubbing my fingers on a walnut leave and smelling its fragrance.
- making jokes of the annoying things: when something spills or splashes or breaks. Sometimes i act out a little and laugh about the mess since i have to clean up anyway -- why not enjoy a little messiness beforehand.
- calling my best friends (they all live far away, recently moved countries again) and listening to them. sharing some of my stuff.
- asking for a hug. or for my husband to brush my hair or massage my feet.
- stopping the routine and doing something differently. e.g. a walk, a crazy dinner in a crazy place (picnic on the attic...), having a foot bath in the bathtub with everyone (2 kids, 2 adults)
- Reading anything by Thich Nhat Hanh or Sister Chang Khong.
- listening to some music. Or singing.
- doing something creative: drawing with my kids, getting flowers from the garden to decorate the house...
- covering my eyes with my hands, humming, praying and rocking until my breath is deep and calm again.
- trying to fit gymnastics and sports into the daily routines, i.e. while i do housework i try to exercise my pelvic floor or stretch...
- reading biographies of great women.
- taking it easy by imagining raising kids elsewehere (Sudan, Iraq) or at a different time (1943 Europe)...

hope you will come home to yourself and be well soon!
D.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.Z.

answers from Boston on

I think you would be abnormal if you did not feel like you were going crazy at times. I am a SAHM for three wonderful boys (4 3/4, 3 1/2 and 12 months old.) There are times that I feel batty too. The thing that keeps me on track is a routine that works. Every morning starts out with going to the gym (they offer 2 hours of free child care while I work out). Then we are off to do fun things (I also belong to an outdoor pool where we have been spending a lot of time.) But we do music, parks, beach or just go visit with friends.

I think the "me" time is the most important. I still feel like I am going crazy at times, but I also think this is the absolute best "job" I could ever have!! And the time goes by so fast that before we know it we will look at our kids and only remember the good and fun times we got to share with them on a daily basis. I know I feel blessed. H..

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
All I can tell you is that you are not alone. Most women think that motherhood is supposed to be blissful, but when the children are very young, it is just monotony (except for when the kids are being really cute and lovable). My children are now 13 and 8. It is fabulous! They can help out around the house, the can fend for themselves when it comes to snacks and such, and we have a ball together. I know they say time flies, but when the kids are very young it feels like time goes sooooooooo slowly. Before you know it, though, you will have a 13 year old and a 10 year old. Life will be easier and much more fun. My advice for right now is to find some friends in the same situation and hang out with them as much as possible. Women need to lean on eachother during the rough times of motherhood!
Good luck,
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Boston on

Your words could easily have my name on them. I also have a 3 and 1/2 year old (boy) and a 9 month old boy and have been married for five years. I can completely relate!!! I have the SAME complaints. I finally got a cleaning lady and that does help. Like you, I am a teacher so I've been trying to organize things when I get the chance during this time off. I usually don't get to do anything personal or relating to cleaning until after 9pm. Once school starts, I'll be going to bed earlier so I wan't to get as organized as I possibly can now.
If you find an answer to our problem let me know!
PS. Do you find yourself constantly packing and unpacking a diaper bag from your daily ventures???

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Boston on

Sounds to me like you need some "me" time. Do you have a friend or relative who would take your kids for the afternoon, so you can get out of the house, get a coffee, go shopping, get a manicure, or relax outside by yourself? Or a sitter you could hire for a couple of hours? If you don't have that option, as I often didn't, I just forced myself to stop - or at least suspend - trying to be the perfect mother and housekeeper. If the kids want to watch TV, and letting them will give you 30 minutes or one hour to read a magazine, then let them. I suppose there are moms out there who would disagree with this advice, but I had a lot of days like the one you're describing, and believe me, an extra hour of TV didn't hurt the kids, but it sure saved my sanity.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.Q.

answers from Boston on

I hear you, loud and clear! I have had many an "off" day. This past week has been crazy both my son and husband are not sleeping well and keeping me up! I am so tired, not to mention 28 weeks pregnant. Just keep telling yourself this too shall pass, I am not the only one feeling this way. EVERYONE has bad days & sometimes not even sure why. Things will get better!
You will see tomorrow you might just feel better & if not in a few days you will.
Why don't you try paper plates & cups, plastic silver ware?! I shouldn't talk I don't use paper either but I am due in October and my son is only 19 months old. My husband works full time & feels he doesn't need to help around the house much. He will if I ask but just doesn't seem to see the "mess" or the full sink or clean dishes that need to be put away. It is hard and so when my 2nd comes paper plates and cups is what we will be using for a while!
I am a SAHM full time year round so maybe it is easier for me? I am more used to it than you? But you will be fine. No worries!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.M.

answers from Boston on

you're not alone there are so many days that i go crazy
it seems liek there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done at times and ui agree going out and doing something sometimes makes it worse
my kids are 3.5 years and almost 7 months and i feel like i'm being split in 2 taking care of them never mind all the stuff around the house that needs to get done
i try to save my sanity sometimes by simply going out for a walk the fresh air does me and the kids good and then change of senery is good
the other day i let my son play out in the rain for about 20 minutes while i had my daughter inside in the jumperoo and he had a blast usind chalk and writing letters and drwaing shapes
i know i didn't give you any advice but it's nice to know that we aren't alone

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Boston on

I try to make cleaning up a game and my oldest daughter now almost four helps me. She has been helping me since she was around 1 1/2. We unload the dishes together.=, use a squirt bottle with a little murphy's oil and water to mop together. I designate certain areas that I feel must be clean and just focus on those like the sink, kitchen table and living room floor. If I cannot get it all taken care of it goes in a bin to be taken care of later. I also try to consolidate the mess. So, all papers get junked together instead of some on the table, some on the buffet, some in the bedroom. It helps to have one big mess in one place and some oasis areas in other places. And when that all still feels like a rut I try to make a date with my husband or a friend and do something new like a place to go out to eat, a new hip movie, get a new outfit, take a yoga class, or go on some adventure (these can be fun with the kids to break things up too). Hope this helps

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.E.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
Wow- you are definitely not alone in feeling you are losing your mind with the never-ending cycle of housework! I'm a teacher home for the summer, too, with three little ones. I find I become much more compulsive about having a clean house when I'm home full-time. I am constantly reminding myself that I am raising children, NOT a house, and that time passes so quickly. I know I will dread leaving my kids when the end of August rolls around, so I make myself focus on them and not the house (as filthy as it might be!!). What has helped me is to reserve housework for certain times, so I don't feel I'm doing it constantly (ie- clean kitchen only when little ones are napping, laundry once a week on Sundays only, etc.) I also envision the immaculate, organized home I will have one day when the kids are older/require less attention, and I can afford a cleaning lady!! Good luck & enjoy the rest of the summer!
P.S. I agree with the advice so many others have given...if you can't stand the mess, escape from it for as long as possible!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.L.

answers from Boston on

Welcome to motherhood, my friend! If there is any sahm that says they don't feel the exact same way..they are fibbing..lol. I work part time and feel so much more accomplished on the days i work. It's just constant when you are home with kids. And wait til your little one is walking...another destructo (as i call my two boys) For me..i have given up on the the toys, etc until after they go to bed. It's just useless. I have been working on putting toys away and pulling different things out on different days. They have too much and can't possibly play with all the toys. As far as laundry, we live out of laundry baskets, so no advice there.ha ha. I have tried to take on smaller tasks each time i have a few minutes to do something...that way looking at the whole overall picture doesn't seem so overwhelming.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Hartford on

We can all relate. Keep in mind there are only a few weeks left and you will be back to work. I can tell you when mine were younger and I was home, this continued too long and I sunk into a depression. Be careful not to let this happen to you. Reach out to your friends, see if there are playgroups in your area, etc. If you do not get better, you may want to talk to a doctor. Do not let yourself go as far down that black hole as I did. Good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Boston on

Do you have a hidden camera in my house and you are asking this question for me???? I have been a SAHM coming up on 8 years now. I think I already went crazy, several times!!! I can joke about it now, but it has it's moments. You really have to make an effort to keep, you and the kids busy doing stuff. You also have to understand that some of the housework has to be set aside. It took me a very long time to realize all this. I just do the best I can every day. My kids are well fed and cared for, so I know I am doing a good job. Some days I too feel like all I am doing is trailing behind someone cleaning up. Try this on for size... I have no dish washer either, and never have!!! If it isnt one thing it is another. Try and destress in any way you can. If the little one naps, set up the older one with a DVD and you take the time to do something for yourself, watch a show, do your nails, take a nap, or catch up on some stuff. What I have been doing lately, since my oldest is out of school, once the kids go to bed at night, I take 1 hr or so and just run around the house then and do a little cleaning up, that way in the morning there isnt so much left to do. I know I am probally not of much help, but please know there are so many of us out there feeling the same exact way and I know you will get many responses that tell you so!!! I say all us Mamasource moms should get out together and vent over cocktails!!! Take care J.......

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.K.

answers from Springfield on

You need to get out of the house by yourself. Go get a pedicure or drinks with some friends. You will go crazy just being home w/ the kids. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 15months and now that my youngest is running around making messes too I feel like I constantly clean the same thing too. My oldest is 6 so he does help out a lot and we try to go outside a lot when it isn't too hot. Good luck. summer is almost over.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Boston on

I think we all feel that way at times. Sometimes it seems like life is a vicious cycle of laundry, dishes, and picking up the house! Mothers shouldn't feel quilty about taking care of themselves. You should get out and recharge your batteries by doing something that is exclusively for you - maybe a manicure or lunch with a friend. I always find that after I get a little "me time" I can be a more patient and engaged Mom. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from New London on

Everyone has days and weeks like this. I think this is how the term play-date came to be, to keep moms sane while their little ones kept busy. There is a lot of pressure these days, work, money, activities for the kids. Maybe you and your husband can take turns making dinner at night, one night his one night yours one night take out. Or make a few meals ahead of time on the weekend for easy reheat. I love my crock pot-I throw everything in there and let it do all the work. I work from home while being a SAHM and somedays the beds just did not get made and the sun still came up the next day. I was shocked too but it did :) I used to have my daughter pick up her toys like a game and said it was one of her chores to help mommy. They love to be big helpers as you know. Then I would reward her with a new coloring book or a frozen yogurt or something like that-something little -o.k. a bribe but it works. A trip to the health food store always helped me-they have a variety of "chill out" herbal teas. Staying home is the best and sometimes hardest thing but you should be proud of yourself for doing what you can and recognizing that it is not always easy and that my fellow mama is O.K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Pittsfield on

Hi J.,
I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. Lately I? have really felt totally overwhelmed. Looking at y'r responces it sounds like we need to find a Mom's group to relate to.

Anyway, thanks for your honesty.

D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.P.

answers from Boston on

I promise you, every mom feels that way at least sometimes. I work full time and I did that because I knew I would go crazy being at home. Even so, I find the endless dishes, laundry, mail, clutter endless and exhausting. Sometimes it feels like there's no end in sight.

I echo some of the other moms' advice: make sure to get some time to yourself. Have a girl's night out, get a manicure, go to a movie -- whatever would be renewing.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from New London on

Hi J.,
I have 3 boys, and there are a lot of times that I feel overwhelmed and that I am like a cat chasing its' own tail! Life is busy with kids....something is always messy and dishes and laundry are always there, as well as household cleaning. I found that I just had to let some things go. When my kids were younger I made sure I went to local museums and the library, as well as swim classes etc. I think getting out of the house is good for everyone. It is a little harder to keep everyone happy now that they are school age, but I try to let them have a friend over, or go meet a friend somewhere.
I have been reading this book about organizing, and it says to do the bulk or the hardest things you have to do...earlier in the day. Also, making a list helps for those things you want to get done. I try to prioritize the list...what do I absolutely have to get done today. I try to keep the list reasonable. (it usually doesn't include cleaning, but other errands as well) Sometimes I don't complete everything on the list, but some gets carried over to the next day.
If you can hire a teenager to babysit for a couple of hours or help you with watching the kids so you can get something done, that may help too. Teenagers usually don't have to be paid a huge amount of money and it will be well worth it. If you can have someone come over once a week or more, that would help a lot I'm sure.
Also, I use a crockpot on a day that I want to do some cleaning. I plan dinner and buy the things the night before, then throw everything in the crockpot. Then I clean up and can get some things done, and go somewhere with the kids(park/playground) and dinner will be done. It does take planning but I feel like I accomplish a lot on a day that I do that.
I am a nurse and I work part time. I try not to work a lot in the summer if I can help it. Summer always seems busy and it is hard to stay organized but I just do the best I can. I also try to schedule/plan vacation time, so we are away from everything and just have fun when we are on vacation.
I hope you can enjoy and make the most of your summer! Hope some of this helps! Enjoy your time off while you can!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from Hartford on

I am a young mom...about a year and a half ago our fmaily expanded from three to five literally overnight without much notice. My husband and I had a 9 month old daughter at the time and became foster parents to two preeschool age little boys. So we had a new walker and two little boys who are very active little ones who are rolling and throwing and tumbling all over the house. Needless to say I can relate. I am not a stay at home Mom but I work nights so I have the little ones home all day and then have to work a ful day after being exhausted. I am lucky that my husband is a BIG HELP. So now we have adopted the boys and the kids are ages 2, 4 and 6 which is really tough! Anyhow they love each other like bio siblings but fight like bio siblings too! I have found that my little boy who just turned four and my two year old will get involved in some of the light cleanup if motivated correctly. I f Iam very specific like these toys need to go here and these shoes nee dto go there and we play music or make a race of it (who can put away 5 things the fastest gets a piece of candy or a popsicle) I try to make it a learnnig game too so that I don't feel so bad about making them work. I will often tell them to find an object that starts with the same sound as thier name and put it away. I try not to do more than 15 minutes with them. Other wise nap and Bed time are the only times I get to do any cleaning. We are finding we spend a lot of weekend time doing in depth cleaneing which is not very fun...but just general picking up and light clean up during the week. When all is said and done we all have THOSE Days and in the end what do you want to be known for having.. happy well adjusted kids or am immaculate house? Remeber that even though being a SAHM may feel more difficult than even teaching some days having summers off to be with your family is a PERK. Next summer you will be in a world of difference with the kids each one year older. my oldest is a worker bee and he gets antsy if I don';t keep him busy with a chore or special project. During the school year I only have weekends with my school aged son becuase when I am home he is at school and when he is home I am at work. Now that it is summer I work days so I still do not have as much time with the kids as I want because they are ready to go to bed y the time I get home from work. I make the sacrifices because I work at a university and they can attend college for free someday. Just think abou tthe bigger picture and take some time off for you. Go to a hotel for one night and have someone make your bed and pick up aftre you...it feels so good!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Boston on

I totally understand. My boys are no longer so little but man do I remember. I used to call it the hamster wheel. What worked for me was restructuring my thought process. Paper plates became okay 2 nights a week for an outdoor cookout. No dishes those nights. I also took one day a week off, well, sort of. The kids went to a friend who did in home daycare and I got my hair cut, nails done, lunch with a friend....you get the idea. I had to leave the house though, otherwise the housework would make me feel guilty. Taking a few hours a week for yourself and giving yourself permission to not feel guilty about it is a wonderful thing. Trust me, the housework always waited. In fact, so many years later, the housework still hasn't figured out how to do itself. Here's to a great rest of the summer.

Enjoy, Jo

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Hartford on

First of all, I'm glad that you wrote in about this. You are not the only one! I'm also a teacher, and it seems like once a week I feel the blues come on. Didn't I just load the dish washer? My laundry pile never really goes away, just more clothes get added on top to be folded and put away. And the toys....I broke down into tears a few weeks ago, because I felt completely surrounded by toys despite my effort to come up with neat and tidy ways to organize them. So...this is what I do. Get out of the house. I check the local paper and look for interesting events, so it's not always the same thing. I set up play dates, and catch up with other moms. (Maybe there should be a playgroup set up for teachers who suddenly have lots of time, but no one to meet with.) Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of local child centered things are not held during the summer, but I've noticed that the libraries still hold events. I also take my son to the mall to play with the indoor playground, and then we share a cool drink together at the Barnes and Noble book store. In the evening, I've twice visited a friend's home to scrapbook. Making plans for myself helps me to feel better. I hope that these ideas help you. You are not alone!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.E.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
Well let me start off by saying that I don't think you are alone, at all. There are days where I want nothing to do with anything and want to crawl into a hole for sanity! :)
Have you tried playgroups at all? There is a site called Meetup.com which gives you different playgroups in or around your area that you could join. I am an orgainzer one for my area and it's helped keep me sane for over a year now! :) You can get out, meet other moms, and kids for your little ones and you can also vent when needed. Have you tried pampering yourself? That might also help break up the every day routine or see if the grandparents can watch the kids for you one after noon and just take it do to WHATEVER you would like to do. Good luck, this will pass, just try to figure out what the "triggers" are and try to fill something in that space.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like there a two things that may be going on. One is that you may miss taking time off from the "house" by going to work. The second is that you are feeling the affects of the negative side of being a mom and the head of the house. It's the never-ending cycle of the same tedious tasks.

I feel the same way almost daily. It seems that since I've had a baby, I can't get ahead of keeping the house clean to my standards and the daily cooking and taking care of the little one and the bigger baby. Since I've returned to work PT, it's worse.

What I try to do every day is to find a little window to do something where I can just veg and do something I enjoy. Since I've been too tired to read, I've been watching programs on on-demand (don't know if you have comcast) that last 30-60 min. Showtime has some great series.

The second and most important thing that I do is find a window where I put the "to-do-list" out of my mind and just enjoy my daughter by just being. I just focus on watching her, appreciating how beautiful she is, and watch as she plays, develops and is her self.
By realizing and enjoying what a miracle she is, it reminds me of the reason of the sacrifice of the me time. Then I take a deep breath and start on the never-ending cooking and laundry, while cleaning what I can. So what if my house is dirty? I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband that some women never get to experience. Now isn't that worth all the work?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Providence on

Boy do I know how you feel! It is very hard dealing with all the stress.I work full and part time so does my husband. We just really on off days try to do something we all love together.Money is tight so we take a ride to the beach on off times so there is no crowds and traffic or go to a park and just let the kids run around. Have a camp fire outsida and roast marshmallows or go to the drive-in. I find just spending time as a family helps alot.Unfortunately Mon rolls around quickly but a few times a week after work we also walk to the park.Time with freinds alone helps also.Just adult conversation is nice.Good luck hope today is good.T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from Burlington on

"I say all us Mamasource moms should get out together and vent over cocktails!!!" ...a friend of mine does just that, a few dozen moms gather every month or so, I think, and call it "margarita moms".
One thing I'm surprised no one mentioned yet - plan a short vacation, something you'll look forward to, just to get out of the rut for a few days. Or schedule something for yourself, a class once a week, whatever works for you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Hartford on

Hi J.,
Yes we all go crazy. It took me till my son was 1 to have a life again. I think the key is balance. My husband goes Mt. biking twice a week & I go to the gym or out with my friends once or twice a week. It is good to get some time without the kids. I have been so much better since I started going out & having some adult time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from Boston on

I don't know that I have any advice, except to say that "misery loves company" so it's good that you asked the question- (not to say you are miserable, just that we're all in this together!!). I feel like I'm going crazy A LOT!!!! I've been home for just over a year and have number 2 on the way in 7 months!!! There are many days I wake up in the morning and wonder how I'm going to make it through the tedium of another day....

Moms groups are helpful, but mine doesn't even meet in the summer...I like the advice others gave-- paper plates are good, planning ahead is really good- if I have a plan for the day it seems to go much better!

Honestly, the thing that has helped me the most is finding some "me" time- there are a couple of high-school girls (if you work at a school maybe you know some) that I rotate between- I have one of them come over at least one day a week for 2 hours and go to the gym or do some writing or shopping by myself...at first I felt a little guilty, but I realized that my daughter loves having them because they give her great one on one attention, take her outside, etc. and i feel more refreshed afterwards, so it's a win win for everyone-

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,
I'm a HS teacher as well with temporary SAHM role for the summer. I often feel the same way as youu, particularly since my husband has been traveling a lot for work the last year since my 10 mo was born and hasn't been there to help take care of daily, mundane tasks. I have a 5 yo as well and now that she's older she does help with some chores and I try to make them fun. Perhaps you can have your 3 yo try to help pick up toys or help sort clothes. Some days you should just let the housework and cleaning go. Maybe for dinner take the kids out to a family friendly restaurant so you don't have to cook and do dishes for a night. Sometimes just getting takeout and eating off paper plates gives you a bit of a break from the daily grind. I've been doing a lot of picnic playdates too...gets us out of the house and enjoying the fine weather with some good company.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Boston on

nope no idea how to keep from going crazy. I'm a teacher's aide so I also have the summer's off and I have 3 boys. But one thought is try to get away without the kids even for a half hour even if it is just to go to the store without them sometimes that helps me.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches