How Do You Deal with the Loss of Your Family?

My Dad, died about 10 years ago.
Each year on his date of passing... we all go to the cemetery and bring him flowers... the kids tell him something and that they love him etc.
We also on that day or night, have a nice dinner or lunch together.

Don't worry about 'how' the others act on that day. Just do what YOU want to do.... and recognize that day or not. Everyone deals with death/grieving differently.
My Mom, went to a "grief support" group... when my Dad died. She still sometimes attends it, when she feels sorrowful.... It helps her Immensely.

For me, I miss my Dad a great deal.... we were very close. I often talk to him... or to his photo which we still display on our shelf. And I bring him flowers at the cemetery whenever I feel like it.
My Dad.... was the ONLY person... that truly knew me... and accepted me for who I was. I miss him dearly... but I am happy... because I saw him before he died and breathed his last breath and he said my name and smiled... I will always remember that. And I know, he is in a better place... now. He had had many health problems...

I might suggest, you find a "grief support group." My Mom, met MANY good people there.... who were all feeling the same as her... It is very helpful. "Grieving" can take time....

Hugs to you,
All the best,
Susan

It's hard but it does get easier as time goes by by this I mean many years later. There are still times I miss my parents who have long left me when I was a young child. My mom knew she would never see me grow up and prepared me to be very independent sometimes too much but it has helped me through many situations in my life.

When you have lost a loved one there is a void or hole where they used to be. Sometimes you forget and reach for the phone to call but remember after the first few numbers that they are not there to answer and hang up. You may have dreams of the family member(s) that were special to you.

Always know that you are not alone and that they do look out for you from afar. Sometimes you may get a gentle breeze or a floral scent for no reason and it will be a loved one. Honor their memories and speak of them to help you move forward and onward.

Your other family members may be grieving in a totally different manner and that may be reason why they are not as close to you as before. Perhaps grandpa was the glue to keep the family tight. There is certainly one thing that is constant in life and that is change. Be flexible and enjoy what you have and do stop and smell the roses.

The other S.

PS If need be get a photo of grandpa and keep it where you can talk to it and give it a kiss andhug to comfort you. As they say whatever it takes to make you feel at peace.

Losing someone you love is never easy. We all grieve in different ways. The most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself -eat, sleep, get exercise. I have experienced what you are feeling. It is often the grandparents who are the bond to keep the family together. There are some great books on grieving because it is a long process and there are several stages you must go through. You will always miss your grandfather but you are a better person having had him in your life. It is time to begin new traditions to celebrate his life and what he meant to you. I pray you will find peace and hope.

My mom passed away in January. I still miss her very much. It is not one of those things that gets easier with time, I think. I mean, I think you accept it more with the passage of time, but you will always miss that person in your life. It brings up a lot of questions for me about life and death, and for me, what keeps me going, is my faith in God and in an afterlife. I do believe in a Heaven of sorts, and I do believe that our loved ones are still with us (just in a different form) after they pass to the other side.

You grandfather must love you so much, too, and you must feel his presence because of that love. Sometimes I get little "signs" of my mom's love for me. Dreams and other things.

But yes, I have experienced what you are feeling - the sense that some people move on, seem to forget, and lives change... life is for the living, but it is also to honor and remember your loved ones - the best way you can do this is by living your life well. Bring joy to others as your grandfather brought to you. Carry his legacy forward. Tell the story of his life to others. He has not lived in vain. Please always remember that love, and learn to carry it deep within you, even with the changing tides that life brings... we all need to go with the flow, but we can love those we have lost. forever.

My dad died about 7 years ago, before I ever got married or any of us kids had children. He never knew what it was like to be a grandfather and he would have been an amazing one.

But, it's true, family dynamics change over the years, people get busy, babies are born, people move away... life goes on for the living. The best thing to do, is embrace his memory and to continue to go forward. Maybe you can plan little family outings or implement a new or forgotten tradition. Create a little sideshow of family times and your grandpa's pics included and show it at holidays. Have family members write letters/emails of favorite family memories and compile them in a little book, or a special private blog that your whole family can read and contribute too.

Sometimes, people put off grieving. It sounds like you are at that point where maybe speaking to a grief counselor can help.