Help..My 9 Week Old Son Cries When Daddy Holds Him???

Our son did this too - much to my husband's dismay. He was so excited for his son and the baby just wouldn't really take to him much. We often nursed sitting next to each other so he could lay his hand on our son and we took showers together so we could take turns holding him close and washing him - he never seemed to cry in the shower when daddy held him. It's really hard but it's honestly a stage and it just lasts longer with some babies then others. About three months ago (our baby is 22 months now) willingly ran to daddy and now he almost prefers daddy to me! Now who's sad...

Is this your husband's first baby? I think men are afraid of babies (tiny, squirmy, needy! LOL) and I think babies sense it. I'll just bet that as your husband gains confidence, the baby will get more confident as well!

it is very difficult to not be hurt with this, but you must get your husband to really really understand that this is a tiny person who cannot be held accountable for his tiny tiny preferences. babies just don't have the cognitive ability to be empathetic at this point, and not for a long time yet.
the adults in his life have to be....well, adult. it's hard to believe right now, but the time will come when daddy is the sun and moon all rolled into one and mommy will get punted to the curb.
some babies just take longer to adjust to a world (the only world they knew for 9 long months, WAY longer than he's been out in the world!) that has more people in it than mommy, the person whose heartbeat and skin and smell are their whole world.
daddy should absolutely keep holding, changing and feeding his son, and he just has to understand that the crying is a process baby is working through. nothing will be gained by daddy backing off, or getting upset. baby won't 'learn' to be kinder to daddy, not for a long time yet.
he's just a baby.
khairete
S.

I can understand how this can be stressful for both you & the baby.

This happened with my second child, too...except that my husband discovered he was the only one who could rock him to sleep...and so did that as often as possible. See if your husband can find something that works and then do that often.

Are you nursing? I think that may affect the baby, too - I know my son stopped crying instantly when I picked him up and I think it was largely me being the mom and source of food (not to sound cynical but i think this is such a large part of a newborn's life that it has to have an impact). If you are nursing, maybe your husband can give a bottle of breast milk every so often so that the baby can be comforted with that.

Also, have you tried swaddling the baby? Once my son was swaddled and feeling warm and snug, it was easier for everyone to hold him. my husband quickly became a master 'swaddler'!

I did feel like i couldn't go anywhere without my son crying, so I had to get over the guilt. Couldn't be with him 24/7. Sometimes, we just had to let him cry it out with dad, grandparents, babysitter...

Rest assured it won't last forever. And I don't think its a statement about how the baby feels about his dad. My son is now almost 12 and he is very cuddly and affectionate with everyone and very close to his dad.

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Tell him not to worry - right now it's all instinct for the baby. You're the one the baby is with all day, probably the one up with him at night, and you're the warm cozy place he falls asleep next to. The same exact thing happened with my first child and my husband was pretty hurt by it. But in a few months' time, daddy is going to be the coolest guy in town, just read your hubby some of these posts and tell him we've been there and this will be a distant memory!!

A.,
The only things that will help are Time and Spending it together. Have just them be together as often as you can. When your baby cries to get back in to your arms away from Dad, DON'T swoop in and "save" him. Let Dad do whatever he was doing, and you try to stay out of it. Every time you do "save" him you're sending the message to your baby that you don't trust Dad either. You know who your husband is and if he is a good person, so the more your feelings and attitude reflect that you trust him, the more your baby will too.
As soon as Dad gets home, use a happy voice and exclaim "Oh Daddy is home", as you give your Sweetheart a hug and a kiss and pass off the little bundle to him for at least 1/2 hr. let just the two of them to be together and stay out of sight for at least that long.
This is not uncommon, but if you do these things, it will be short lived. The more Time he spends with Dad the less Time it will take for him to learn to trust and love him.
Good luck
E.