Help with Short Temper

Basically, you are trying to work FIVE jobs. That's a few too many. I know it's rough being a single mom, and since you didn't mention child support, I'm guessing you don't get that to help you out, but you are just doing too much, and this is your body's way of telling you that. You need to sit down and list your priorities, make a budget, any kind of list that will help you get things in perspective. Hopefully you can drop one of those full-time jobs, and if your home business is struggling, it's probably not bringing in enough to make the stress worth it. Your daughter is sending you a message, too, every time she asks if you're happy. She needs a loving, supportive mom, not a stressed-out harpy. Take a weekend off, and steal her away for some mother/daughter fun to reconnect, promise her things will get better, then make that promise come true.
I hope you get some relief soon. {{{HUGS}}} Good luck!
J.

Don't feel bad. I'm like that too with my 2 year old. I love him to death but they aggravate u to no end. I hate yelling at him and spanking him but that's the only things that seem to work sometimes. I think it's stress. When he goes with my mom I'm fine it's just when he's around me and getting into everything and he won't listen. It gets frustrating!

i had the same problem with my 3 boys ive always had so much patience but started losing my temper quick with them lately so i went to my doctor and asked what i can do she put me on zoloft and it has helped a lot i no longer lose my temper and have more patience it donsent make me drossy at all and it has worked wonders

I wrote a book called Two Minute Mom precisely because I used to yell at my son all the time and I had to stop because we were both miserable. My son has Adhd and tons of energy to fuss a lot and really stress me out so I can relate to you!

The book has tons of ideas on how to handle parenting problems and turn them into priceless memories in the process.

He is now 12 and a straight A student, plays many instruments, writes books, plays, draws comics, he is the star of his school play, a great athlete, all because of the techniques we used. He really helped create what worked for him, that also worked for me to relax and enjoy my time with him and his sister. I hope this helps you, too!

Did I mention that I am a single mom too... with a pain disability? I stress out VERY easily and would yell daily if I don't use these techniques. When I still yell occasionally, my son asks me to use the two minute mom way. He can even tell me which timeout he needs if I can guide him to do one when he needs it. Some are alone and some are together. They're great!

My website is: www.twominutemom.com

B.

To L. and several others who were having the same type of problems. I am a women's health advocate working specifically with hormonal imbalance. I would like to suggest a book "What Your Dr May Not Tell You About Premenopause" by Dr. John R. Lee. Almost all of your symptoms, irritability, depression, mood swings, feeling of panic, frustration, sudden anger, hysteria, are all symptoms of hormonal imbalance. There are safe, natural ways to balance your hormones. There are over 50 symptoms of hormonal imbalance. To check to see if you have a hormonal imbalance go to
http://www.women4balance.com/hi-hormonecalculator.php?emb... and use the Hormone Calculator. This website is an educational website for women. There are 38 recorded calls that you can listen to online or download them to your computer and/or CD at http://www.balancednowpodcast.com/ The one for 2/20/07 Mood Swings and Anxiety is a good one. You may find some of your answers there. If you have any questions, please let me know.

Have you tried Prozac? Sometimes moms need that little "boost"...

This has always been me. Or was me. I dont know how you feel about medication, but it was a God send for me. There are several antidepressants and anti anxiety medicines out there to try. I am on Lexapro(10 mg.) and it makes the little things look little again and the big things not so big. I feel like my son and I have a better relationship now. I was always yelling at him too. He just had to look at me wrong. This particular one might not be the right one for you but there is one that will make life a little easier for you. There are clinics that can help you get these for little or no cost.

I am the exact same way as you! Same thing about our moms too! I am trying to figure out how control it better too. I'm at the end of my rope....if you figure something out, PLEASE let me know what worked for you!

I was a single mom for 13 years. My son is 14 now and I went on Paxil about a year and a half ago because I felt like I was always so wound up and irritable. Best thing I ever did in my life, and I regret I didn't start taking it when he was born. I would have been SUCH a better mom. Oh well, better late than never. I know so many moms who take Effexor, Paxil, Zoloft...whatever, and it really is a lifesaver.

I agree that you do need to spend more one-on-one time with your daughter. She's letting you know in her 4-year-old way that she needs to spend time with you.

WOW!! I thought I was stressed out with a husband that works out of town during the week, a full time job, and full time school with 3 kids! You've got to slow down!! Sounds to me like your daughter wants your attention. Try to plan a special day, every week to do something with her. And spend at least a few minutes every day together, whether it's reading a bedtime story, or her helping with dinner, anything to encourage some positive interaction and I bet she'll stop bothering you when you need time to do what you need to do. Good luck, I hope this helps.

i had this issue with my four year old son and i took a deep breath and looked from the outside in, (fortunately i have a boring job so i have time to reflect on that stuff) and realized huh he doesnt ever see me and when he does finally get to see me i am yelling, wow is he ever going to have bad childhood memories! then i figured what if i just stop yelling i am an adult i can do that right? it was really hard but i did find that taking a lighter class load helped me not be so angry and just taking the time to unwind b4 i see them helps a whole lot, just make the personal rule of no yelling and stick to it your an adult you can do this! and dont hesitate to relax and read a book with her at bed time so that she can unwind and just BE with you

Hi L.,
Best parenting investment I ever made was Parenting Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. I understand there is one for children as well. If it helps half as much as the teen one did, you'll love it!

May you feel loved and supported today.
D. R

the yelling probably makes her nervose and worried about what it might lead to. especially if she thinks you yell because of her. Maybe you need to see a ptherapist and check out why you are very short tempered. There is a reason

Have you ever though that you are so busy that you are overly tired and that is why you are easly angered. Medicine is not aleways the answer once you start its hard to stop try not working so many jobs and maybe prayer. L.

It sounds like you are trying to do way too much and then taking out all of the inevitable stress on your daughter. She is probably jealous of your time since she doesn't get much of it. I would reduce what you're doing by at least a third and try to spend more time with her. You are the adult, so you can feel anger or even "hate" for her and still not show it. She can't do that because she is just a child.

I don't know if anyone suggested this, but I've been learning about meditating and mindfullness.... I have the same problem as you, except I am a stay at home-homeschooling mom of 2 boys. When I worked, I felt like the worst mother on earth, I couldn't stop yelling at my son (I only had one then). I eventually quit my job (but I know you don't have that option being a single mom) and things got better. But now I have 2 boys and I homeschool...so my stress level is up again LOL But really, these two things are really helping me. You can even teach your daughter to do it with you. I have a great child's meditation book that my boys love. It helps keeping you calm and centered, and even if you are in the midst of yelling you can stop, calm down, and relax. ____@____.com is my email if you want to chat.

Hope this helps!

-J.