Help with Angry Family

Updated on August 18, 2009
J.H. asks from Quincy, IL
5 answers

I need help with our family. In the last month and a half, we have sold our house,bought a lot to build on, and rented a house until our new one is done. I knew there would be an adjustment peiod, but we are really struggling. We have three kids and we are all angry and yelling a lot. My oldest son is smarting off about anything and everything. yesterday he spent the entire day in his room, and it still didn't faze hime. I need advice, we are going crazy. I want our normal family back again!!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

You can start w/ you, and not yell and not get angry and that'll show the others you're in control of your behavior and more than likely they'll change as well.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from St. Louis on

Maybe a day away from the rental home for fun and bonding? The zoo or swimming. School will be starting and maybe that will help with getting two of them out of the house more. Otherwise, just be consistent. Send him to his room again the next time, and the next time, and the next time... He would probably want nothing more than for you to think the sending him to his room didn't work and not to do it again!

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S.F.

answers from Topeka on

Have you considered checking the library for resources about stress management? Setting an atmosphere of relaxation around the house may help. Think of whatever you do to unwind (soft music, dim lighting, etc.)If the grown-ups are stressed, then the kids feed off of it too. Give extra hugs. Acknowledge how your son feels (it doesn't mean you must agree with how he expresses himself) and try to get input from everyone about what will help them feel better. Hope this helps.

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S.V.

answers from Kansas City on

Someone on here said "spare the rod, spoil the child" to me once... I have a different take on things than many moms do...having been in the public health sector for years, being a mom, and having worked with teenage girls...I've found that giving responsibility to the kids who are acting out the most, tends to give them an outlet or, well...gives them some sense of pride being an active member of the family and participating. Do you have a pet? Have your eldest walk the dog, and your daughter feed him (or a chore similar). At the end of the week, give them a reward--picking their favorite dinner for friday night and they get to pick the movie for family time. I used this technique with drug-addicted teens (granted, I didn't give them a dog, but adjusted the concept), and it worked...exceptionally well. They enjoyed the responsibility, the group relied on them (and one another) to get to "fun night" at the end of the week. Boy, did it turn some girls around. Granted, I haven't a clue where they are now--since I'm a stay at home mom, but--I know when they were with me...they were given serious responsibilities (one girl was especially good with cars, so she changed the oil in the group 15-passenger van, she asked first and told me what I needed to get), she got to pick the movie that week and we ordered chinese take-out for all. It sounds strange...but, giving them a sense of responsibility--with reward attached also keeps them focused, rather than bickering. But, I'm an army wife. I watch kids fight nonstop over moves...it's tough on them. Change isn't fun for any kid, but remind them how COOL the house is going to be in the end!!! Good luck, and I feel your pain. We move every 2-3 years.

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L.C.

answers from Kansas City on

you are all just really stressed out. even kids get stressed! sometimes simple things can really help. start a rule in the house, everyone count to 10 when you start getting angry. have everyone eat dinner together to talk about their days, good or bad. start a family game night in the middle of the week and then do a family movie night on the weekend. i know it sounds cheesy, but that helps my kids a ton. if ive had a bad day and my daughter is acting up, i offer to put a string of beads of in her hair. she loves laying her head in my lap to get them and almost always fall asleep while i do it, so it helps me when i need to relax. my son thinks its hilarious if i get down and crawl around the ottoman in circles while he follows me. sometimes simple things make a HUGE difference!

i hope that helps!
L. C.
http://www.PerfectWorkForMoms.com

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