Has Anyone Tried 1-2-3 Magic

I also use 1-2-3 Magic. But I have also taken a page from Super Nanny on how to do timeouts. There are different methods, but basically you keep putting him or her in the time out spot until they stay for the allotted time. My daughter tested me on this a few times, but now she stays in her time out spot. (I believe Super Manny on ABC (fridays) also demonstrates this rather well).
Another book I have taken some discipline pointers from is The Kazdin method for the Defiant Child. It focuses on postive reinforcement. Basically time outs are for stopping behaviors but positive reinforcement is used for changing behaviors.
Really with either methods or a combo it is about being consistent.

Karen,
I love this program. I have a very difficult child and we used it when he was younger. He also wouldn't stay in his room. We turned the knob around and locked him in too. I thought DCFS would come running! We only ever had to lock him in twice. It works quickly. My son went the extra mile and destroyed his room while he was there. Knocked over dressers etc. After all was said and done we opened the door but then told him that he could come done only after his room was put back in order ( I can't recall how old he was) to the best of his abilities. He did it. It took him a long time but he NEVER destroyed his room again and we only ever locked him in once more. I do believe strongly that this program works. It's hard emotionally in the beginning but I would suggest you stick with it.

I still count for my son (now 9) and rarely get to 3. But he knows when I count I mean business.

One last thing, can I talk to you about your day care?

We have been using it for about 3 years. My oldest is 5, so he was about 2 when we started. We just made him sit on a chair in his room, never had to close the door.

What we found is that time that he had to sit, was longer and longer at first because he didn't believe that we were going to make him do it. I think the first few times we ever did it, we had to make him sit there for 35-40 minutes because he kept throwing fits. Now he knows, do your time, be quiet, process why you are sitting there and you're done.

I just started doing this with my 2 year old (today was the first time I gave him a 2 minute sit down) and he did it right away and was up in those 2 minutes. I was able to process with him ("why are you sitting in this chair?") and he was able to respond ("coloring on the wall"). Aren't kids great??? :-)

Every child is different. It is going to get worse before it gets better - at least it did for us.

Both my boys react very well to the counting. I was always under the impression that "counting" was bad to do with kids because I felt it showed them that we weren't serious the first time we said something. But, I have found that this method works with us.

I hope you get some relief!
B.

I have been doing this since my daughter was 2....and it works. I rarely have to get to '2'....saying '1' is enough to know I mean it.

However, I would recommend you also read

Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries (Paperback)

It will give you a lot of good advice about dealing with strong willed children. It deals with punishment but it also deals with positive ways to set the stage and to get children to behave the way you want them to.

This works!! Stick with it. Be consistent. It took our then 2.5yr. old 2 wks and we have used it for a year now!! It even works in public at stores at pools, school, etc... Whatever you do do not give up because then your child just won the battle and things will go down hill after that. Oh, we do not use her room for a timeout. We use the fireplace and we do not talk to her during her timeout. Sometimes we put her toys in a timeout. That works well also!

Hi Karen,

We use a modified 1-2-3 Magic with our 3 year old and she really responds well to the counting and the praise. I have noticed on the days I really remember to praise her for all the good that she does, she really is better behaved than on the days I praise less. Don't forget to see the good! Having said that, I think you may find you only have to confine him physically with a locked door a few times. He needs to know you are serious. Once he figures out you will be consistent and fair in applying the time outs, he'll probably come around pretty quickly. I have shut the door on my 3 year old a few times when she has lost her composure completely. Her room is baby proofed so it's very safe for her to be there for a short period during a meltdown. Also, I check back with her and tell her if she can be calm (or come pretty close to calm - the main thing is that she's no longer putting up a huge fit), she can come out. I've never kept her in there for more than 5 minutes or so, but maybe with a slighly older child, it takes a little longer. Good luck!

Works great for us. We put a gate on our son's door (instead of closing it) for the first few months. Now he just stays in his room with the door open. We've been using a modified approach since he was about 2, and now he's 2 1/2, so I can't comment on how an older child will react. He DOES take the counting seriously though, and we are very consistent about following through with time out for him, a time out for the toy in question (like a ball in the house) or loss of privilege, depending on the context.

I haven't read the book (I probably should) but my kids go to their rooms for time out. My house is too small for a time out area to work..no matter where I would put them originally, there is always some distraction within eyesight or earshot or handreach. Most of the times it's one of my other kids that are trying to talk to the offender. So anyway, I started putting them in their rooms. They didn't stay. Then we put a hook and eye on the outside of their doors and locked them in (easier than switching the doorknob!). I used the hook and eye for bedtime too (then unlocked it once they were asleep. To make a long story short, I don't even have to lock the doors anymore for time outs or bedtime. They know to stay in there. I probably locked it for a week or two, I can't remember exactly how long it took them to stop trying to get out but they will eventually stop trying. I don't give them a certain number of minutes in there. I tell them to tell me when they are ready to talk. Once they have calmed down.. and it may take one minute and sometimes it takes 1/2 hour.. even my 2 year old will calmly tell me that she is ready to talk. So gives them the power to come out when they are ready, once they show me that they are ready. When they say they are ready to talk, I will go into their room and talk to them about why they were in there. I would say that now my 2 almost 3 year old ends up in her room on average once a week, my 5 year old ends up in her room once every few weeks, maybe a little less. I haven't started yet with the 1 year old.. she's still a little too young to quite get it.
Good luck and hang in there. Like I said, I didn't read the book but it sounds like what we do in our house anyway and it definitely does work.

Hi Karen,

I have been using Magic 1-2-3 on my 8 year old since she was 2.

It has been so long since I watched the DVD. (I am not a book reader!)

I don't know where I got this part from, but I never put her in her room for a time out. (I do however send her to her room when she is throwing a temper tantrum and I need to unwind) I was told, or heard from somewhere, that the child's room should be their own place.

I have her sit in a chair for her time out and I make sure the tv is off. Yes, it can be difficult to keep her on the chair, especially when she was younger, but I am glad I did it this way. Just make sure you do not talk to your child during the time out. Of course this will be difficult to do when you child will not sit on the chair at first.

Good luck. Magic 1-2-3 is effective. No matter how you choose to discipline - just make sure to stick to it!

This was suggested for me to use on my 3 year old. We were having trouble getting her to sleep in her room. It never felt right. I tried it for 3 nights. Don't do it. She freaked out every time I shut the door ( I only locked it for a few minutes). She still freaks out if I shut her bedroom door. I did not realize there was a name to this method, but it felt so cruel and has had lasting effect.
I prefer to make their bedrooms not a place where "bad" kids go. We use the time out step. which is really just the next to the bottom step. I would imagine you could have a time out chair where you can see them, but they can not see the tv or the entertainment.

I hope this helps!