I deleted this question.
Thanks everyone!
ok this is not going to come out right...but doesn't she need the addresses for the wedding? Any time someone has thrown a "shower" for me I provided all the necessary information, whether it was short notice or not.
Can you change the date to after the wedding? And call it something else? I am a meanie so I would say I need by tomorrow or we postpone til after the wedding.
Ughhhh, rude bride to be. I realize it is 2011 but an invitation is proper not an e-mail, evite or phone call is just crazy, especially for 50 people (rude????). She should have multiple showers if the shower thing is her ideal situation (family, friends and co-workers). Since she offered to get the addresses I would put some of the work back on her and make her determine who she would like to attend. The shower is three weeks away, I would absolutely talk with the bride and tell her that you must have the addresses by Sunday (two days away!!), after the conversation I would follow up with an e-mail to her clarifying your conversation. That is an inconsiderate expectation to have you phone, text or e-mail 50 people to get their addresses. I would expect that she is inviting these people to the wedding, she will need the addresses. Say it with a smile, stand your ground, say nothing and wait for an answer. You are going to have to turbo to get these invites out, probably on Monday or Tuesday (fill out everything except the address...and the registry). How far out is the wedding? Can it be postponed? She doesn't sound organized at all.
Email all of them an evite.... The rest you only have numbers for, give her those names so she can get their addresses, or call them yourself.
A lot of people do evites, by the way. Also, you don't have to spend a lot of time explaining yourself.
"Hi, Diana! This is Lucy. I am throwing a baby shower for Christi Jones and would like your address so I can send an invitation. Thanks!"
As for her registering, she hasn't done it yet. Tell her that's fine, but the invites will be mailed on x day, so if she doesn't have her registry inserts by then, then the invitations will not have them in there. You just need to be realistic with her and set a date.
I'd tell her when she is organized enough, you'll have a party then. And 3 weeks is about as late as I'd send out the invites too. Most people like to plan ahead. Or maybe you could give her the invitations all written out, and have her address them. I know that's not her job, but then she'll understand how frustrating it is, especially when you are trying to be so giving to her.
if the weddings only weeks away that means the shower would be a few weeks awat, i'd send out a mass text to all of the numbers, that say: leave M. an email at ____@____.com (create one like that) with whether you can come, and email the same thing. So you only have to check that special email ur only using for this day
Can you call her mother? Someone has to have a master guest list to send invites to the wedding.
I'm sorryn but you took this shower challenge on. If she has a whole wedding to plan in such a short period of time, she probably has way more to tdo than just this part of it. And she may feel tacky calling all her friends and family - hey, what's your address so I can send you an invitation to buy me a gift. I would feel tacky as the bride doing that. Since she knows them all, it's going to be a 20 minute call to each one explaining about the wedding and hows the family and blah blah blah. I would call her mom, send a mass email and mass text. You can put your email address in the text.
If you really want them out, I'd divide the list and start making phone calls. You may be able to get 2 or 3 addresses from one individual so you might not have to call everyone. Also, the ones I had e-mail addresses for, I would e-mail the invitation to cut out a lot of expense for postage and time for mailing. You should get the invites out soon - usually 3 - 4 weeks in advance is good.
Could you do an e-vite. It collates your guest responses and sends your guests reminders.
I agree that an e-mail/e-vite or a phone call is very tacky. E-vites should not be used for formal events.
Offer to get together with her one, the other helpers, and possibly her mother or sister and have a work party getting all the address together.
If that can't happen, then the way I see it is it's her responsibility to give you the addresses as it's her friends and family. If she doesn't give them to you, oh well. You have 2 options, just invite those whom you have an address for, or postpone the shower until you have the information. If it gets to be too late, that's her problem not yours.
Another thought, if you have the e-mail address you can send out an e-mail saying, "I'm helping xxxx with her upcoming wedding, could you please provide me with your mailing address?"
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If she's going to take her time with it and you have the email addresses then send an Evite. Make it as nice as possible and say something on the invitation that with the short period of time you had to work with this method of invitation seemed to be the most efficient. If the bride doesn't care neither should you & you'll save a bunch of money on invitations and postage.
Call or email everyone, have your helpers split this up. Tell them this was the contact info you were given, and invite them to the party, make sure verbally that they put aside the date. Ask each one of them for their address, and tell them you will send them a paper invite with registry info within a week.
eta: write the addresses directly onto envelopes, then compile the list in a word document for future reference.
She wants to invite these people to her shower, but she doesn't have their addresses. I personally think that's strange. I really wouldn't call, text or email invites...I would possibly do an Evite, but prefer sending out invites. I think you need to let her know that since the shower is only 3 weeks away, that you need to get the invites into the mail, and she needs to give you addresses. I'd try to get as many home addresses as possible and then get email addresses for the others and send Evites to those separately. The addresses you don't get, I would just skip inviting.
I would send an email invitation (as an attachment).
In this day and age, some people think it's okay to just use a site like evite for invitations, etc... so you could go this route, since email addresses are what you were provided.
However, if you feel it is not the proper way to go, you can extend the invite via phone call to each person (I like what talkstotrees suggested), perhaps as a "save the date", and then get their address and mail the formal invite as soon as you have the registry info (or don't wait for the registry info, since some consider it tacky to put that into the invite).
BTW, I hosted a baby shower where I was given email addresses for everyone, and since it was super short notice (someone else was supposed to host and dropped the ball), I used evite. The Mom-To-Be's Aunt refused to come to the party because the only invite she got was via email (not that she didn't get it in time, just that it was the only form of invitation). For the following baby shower (a few years later) I made sure to do mailed invites (though the Aunt still didn't come).
ETA: I wouldn't recomment sending a text with instructions to replay via email, because I've learned that people just don't always pay that close of attention... and will reply via text (putting you in a whole lot of hurt). Just my 2cents.
