Gifted Child HELP

The "smartness" of a child, does not mean they are equally "emotionally" smart....
for a child of any level of ability... it is, to me, really important to develop the "whole" child... their level of emotions/coping abilities/self-esteem/social skills are real paramount.... in the LONG term and their success as an individual in making friends, socializing, being pleasant, understanding others, empathy, charity, etc.

She is so young... and at this age, their emotions are NOT even fully developed yet. So, perhaps, instead of focusing on how "smart" she is... try nurturing other aspects of her.... ie: how to communicate feelings, how to articulate it, how to cope with 'mad or happy' feelings, and that she is a "team" in the family.

THIS is what we did with my daughter, who is very wise beyond her years, and tends to be more articulate for her age. Her Teachers and others have always told us this. So now, at 6 years old, she is very capable of KNOWING how to express her feelings/thoughts/ideas (whether positive or negative), she can adeptly DISCERN good/bad situations and problems and trouble-shoot it wisely, she has a great self-esteem and values her self, we always taught her to "be yourself" but to give thought to others. Over the years, with learning positive "coping skills" from us, and that NO ONE is exempt from being above anyone else, she has really become a well-rounded little girl. She even teaches US a thing or two.

Many times, a child's "smartness" overshadows their actual "maturity" emotionally. So, instead of over-looking this aspect, work on it. THIS is what makes or breaks a person... in the long term. ie: we have a friend with a 'gifted' child and he goes to a special school for gifted children. BUT...over the years, I have seen how he is the most noxious little child I have seen.... spoiled, selfish, gives no care to how others feel, he has a sense of "entitlement" and that he is "smarter" than everyone else. He lacks social skills and most kids do not "like" him. Then he wonders why he has no friends, besides adults. And, he has no self-identity... just parrots what his parents have been telling him all these years... that he is SO SMART... and he lacks any "original" sense of self.

The thing is, no matter how "smart" a child... friends and feelings and the ability to fit in... will be important to them. Long term. You do not want them to feel marginalized or like an outsider amongst even "normal" kids. But, they must be allowed to go at their own pace.... and have the ability to RESPECT ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE... not just "smart" people. And, how to build empathy....

Again, your daughter is so young, and this is the "terrible two's." Even if she were normal intelligence, she'd have frustrations/tantrums/and a bad temper. So, like ANY child... work on the INNER child... the WHOLE child.
Any child can be hard to deal with.... smart or not.

"Success" & "happiness" for a child... will mean, especially in the teen years, how many friends they have, WHO they are, how they fit-in, how they manage their difficulties and emotions, how they can excel academically AND socially... how everyone "views" them, how their parents accept/negate their own ideas and problems, and how well they can communicate AND "relate" to others.... etc.

Build a "FOUNDATION" under your child.... not just academics and how "smart" she is. Give her wings to soar with... for the "whole" child and the little young lady she will "become." And, BOTH Mom and Dad influences, will color her world view... a Dad is just as important in "shaping" a little young girl too.

All the best,
Susan

http://giftedonlineconferences.ning.com/

&

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

:)

Dear S.,

Congratulations! You are in for a ride. The most important thing to do is to make sure that she has outlets for her gifts. You need to provide activities that will tie down her attention and give her the information she is so craving. This can be in the form of games or in everyday household tasks. A lot of the knowledge you have you take for granted. So make sure you provide her with learning opportunities in interesting ways. Laundry time can be used to explain how a cotton T-shirt gets made (from cotton to thread to dying to sewing), or folding geometric shapes, counting, etc. She will lap it up and love the attention.

This is also an important time to learn responsibility. Put her in "leadership roles." Have her be responsible for small things, even have her direct you in tasks, ask her "okay, so what do I do next? And then?" She may tell you that you are silly and you should know, but playing "dumb" can be really fun for smart kids.

Have you been told what her "developmental age" is? Chronological age would be the 2.5 years, but at what age is she performing at? There is a way for you to determine where she is performing at in detail by using a developmental chart that speech pathologists and other professionals use to determine the developmental age of a child. If you go to Vort's website, you can get a developmental chart that starts at 3 and goes to 6. (I don't think you need to get the 0-3 year olds, but you can, they are inexpensive.) Here is the website:
http://www.vort.com/products/help_overview.html

The charts show white lines that indicate when a skill may start to come in and when it should be in by. See where she falls. For areas that she is exceeding, look at what should be coming next and nurture those skills. (They are very specific so it should be easy. Things like "completes 5 piece puzzle, or stacks rings in correct order"). It covers everything from gross motor, to language to cognition. This way you can also see what areas she may be behind in and catch those up.

The best thing you can do is to just provide experiences. As far as the attitude goes, talk it out. Always acknowledge her feelings "You must feel sad that we can't play right now. Aha. And you must feel frustrated that we have to go. Aha. But you understand that we have to go, right? Aha. How about if we play for two more minutes, exactly, and then we go? Okay." This way you can prevent a 10 minute meltdown and talk/play for 5 minutes. I think the Emotionally Intelligent Child is a great book for kids, especially gifted ones. Their brain may be ahead, but their emotions are harder for them to deal with. (Especially if they think they are smart.:))

Good luck!!!!

A nightly routine can do wonders. That is if you dont have one already! Sorry if this is no help, but it's all I know.

ok shes 2 1/2 her temper is normal. even though she is bright she still will have difficulty doing things and it can be hard to emotionally express things. my 2 year old is also very start. she has a huge vocabulary of about 250 words (at 2) and does speak a little chinese and spanish. she says complex words and 3-5 word sentences. also shes a visual learner. if you show her how to do something she will do it with ease after a couple tries but still gets frustraited when she doesnt do something right quickly. do you know how your child best learns? like i said my daughter is a very visual learner (like me). i personally like to buy toys that are just a little old for her. like shes 2 but we buy her toys for a 2-4 year old so shes challenged. i have always bought toys this way. have you tried letting her play on the computer. theres fun games on noggin.com and nickjr.com. also maybe try phonics for her. have you determined her level of advanceness also this could help in determining how to handle her. i hope this is helpfull good luck