Frustrated with My Two Year Old - Lenexa,KS

Updated on April 15, 2011
M.S. asks from Lenexa, KS
7 answers

I have two children, a four 1/2 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. It has amazed me at how different they are with learning and growing. My daughter spoke early (4-6 word sentances by 14 months), potty trained early and so on. My son on the other hand speaks but not well. He also throws huge tantroms when he doesn't get his way on anything. He is also up, down and into everything. I turn my back for literally a second and he is running into the street laughing like it is no big deal. My least favorite time of the day is dinner time as we struggle to keep him seated to eat dinner. He takes one bite and is off running. Ahh!!! I am having a hard time "dealing" with him as I didn't go through this with my daughter. I work full time as does my husband so once we all get home we are running around playing trying to enjoy one another's company and right now we (my husband and I) just aren't enjoying the kids all that much. Just looking for thoughts/advise, something to know I am not the only Mom who has gone through this :)

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So What Happened?

Thanks Ladies!!! Dinner time is important but I also know he is only 2 and doesn't quite "get it". More than anything it just drives me crazy. I appreciate the advice/thoughts and more than anything to know I am not the only one with a crazy kid - LOL! My husband and I are very high energy people so I did expect my kids to turn out like us. The funny/sad part is I would love to have a third but don't know if I have any patience left in me to have a third. I turn 35 this month and am wondering if having two is all we need. Hmm . . . that's a whole other topic. Thanks again!!!

More Answers

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J.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have a daughter who is about to turn 3 and this past year has been up and down. She had terrible tantrums right around turning 2 years old and I'd do my best to ignore them, and they went away after about a month.

Then when she "turned" 2.5 they came back, really bad, for about 3 months. I was beside myself. We'd try to ignore her, or put her in her room, but she'd just carry on for an hour. I found the best thing that worked for her was to just hold her until she calmed down.

Yes, my husband repeatedly said he didn't want to eat dinner as a family anymore and there were many unfun nights. I was always on edge waiting for a blow-up/melt-down, so no, you're not the only one. Best I can suggest is just wait it out as it is a phase, and in a few months things will be better.

In the meantime, chocolate. Or martini's. ;-)

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Amazing how different kids are isn't it. Some of it you just have to lean into. He's two and he's a boy two which is different then girl two. Right now if he wants to run around at dinner, I say let him. Of course it will annoy your daughter because she can't, but she's also old enough to explain it. Maybe even make a game out of it if you can. Two bites he gets to run a lap or whatever. Sure right now that is encouraging the behaviour, but he's TWO. Or, eat in shifts. Right now it's less important to all sit and eat together so maybe someone eats with your son and gives him some solo time-cuz part of his behaviour is probably attention seeking.

I think that time of day is stressful for everyone. We both work f/t too and when we get home depending on our 3 yr old son's mood sets the evening tone-if he's happy, were happy, if he's not, we spend most of our time telling him to stop pushing down his 14mo old sister who is just starting to walk or stepping on her or smacking her or yelling at her or hitting her. :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

All kids are different and it's just not very fair to compare them.

I think you need to identify the strengths that you son has over your daughter. Observe!

Safety is O. thing, but the dinner situation? Seriously, I'd let him go.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

SO SO SO normal. If dinner is important to you, and it sounds like it is, you can give him choices. Either sit and eat or go to time out/your room. If he leaves the table he's made a choice to go to time out/his room for dinner. Otherwise, he sounds like a very active, typical little boy. Hang in there...

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I raised 4 girls and 4 boys and yes, they are different in many ways but in my opinion both need manners. Running around while eating is not good manners. All of my kids sat and ate as a family and no up and down and no complaining about meals, etc. It didn't hurt them at all and we all got a good meal without getting ulcers. It's just what you want. Do you want a child who is enjoyable to be around or one who is not? It takes consistency on your part in whatever you chose to discipline and then do it. Don't give in and he'll learn that he's not the main attraction at dinner time. That is the hard part for you as you are the one, and your husband, who have to set the limits and stick to it. If you don't want that then let him run and try to eat.

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K.D.

answers from St. Joseph on

We're right there with you sister! No advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I enjoyed laughing while reading your post, since I could have written it (almost) verbatim. We're just waiting out yet another phase in the growing cycle of a boy. Enjoy!

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N.F.

answers from St. Louis on

My twin boys will be 2 this month and they sound like your 2 year old! :o) Right now I don't have a problem with dinner because I keep them in high chairs. They used to do tantrums, but now anytime they cry and whine for longer than 30 seconds (not a cry because they hurt themselves, but a cry because they didn't get their way) then they have to go into the corner and cry there until they're finished. They don't like the corner, so they stop crying right away and then give me a hug. My boys speak too but I still don't really understand the words. I heard that boys take a little longer to talk than girls.

My problem was getting them to go to sleep. They listen to daddy when he tells them to go to sleep, but they don't listen to me (they either giggle or cry when I leave the room). But lately, I allow them to take a toy (not one that makes noise) to bed and they go to sleep right away. I'm pretty shocked really. But the last 3 nights they've even slept through the entire night for 11 hours, whereas before one or the other would cry out in the middle of the night even though they would fall back asleep - it still would wake me up though! Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that right now it might seem very frustrating but try a different thing or solution and maybe it will change.

Good luck!

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