My Two Year Refuses to Sit at the Table to Eat

I agree with some of the other ladies as well - my middle son rarely did anything sitting still when he was that age. As long as he is eating well it doesn't matter if he is at the table or not (we do not allow sitting in front of the tv or anything I just mean going back and forth between dancing, playing, etc.) Girls are more focused sometimes and maybe he's just so happy doing everything at once. It might seem distracting but as long as it is not an eating issue and just how he eats I would give it some time. This to shall pass . . . I can't get my now 7 year old son up from the table - he wants to eat eat eat!! Be blessed . . .

You have to remember who the parent is. My daughter would throw fits too and I don't allow it. Not sure if you believe in spankings but they work. It is a test of wills. They have to follow the rules. If that is a rule at your house then he has to follow it. When you let him get down he knows he is in control. I don't allow that behavior. It took awhile but now she is 3 1/2 but knows what we expect. Does she still throw fits..yes but does she know the consequences...yes. Kids are very smart but we as parents have to be willing to take the time, time, and more time again to coach them in the right behavior. Our daughter got consistant spankings for about 3 months. We had head banging the floor tantrums. Now she doesn't get spankings as often, nor does she trow the tantrums. Time outs did not work for her. If your child can talk expect them to use their words. Talk to them about how to communicate. Our daughter could talk in complete sentences by the time she was 2 so we explained to her over and over again that that behavior was not acceptable and that she can use her big girl words to talk to us. Also that it was not safe the way she would throw herself on the floor and everytime she did it she would get a spanking. Now, if she behaves like that we send her to her room because the behavior unacceptable and she understands the time outs. We constantly remind her she can be frustrated, sad, mad, cry or whatever but that explosive tantrums should not happen. Is it normal for that age...yes, but it is our job to mold them to understand how to handle themselves. Mind you, do not break their spirit, just their will to control. My daughter is a fighter (control speaking) and I expect her to stand up for herself but only when she needs to. And I would never want her awesome personality to change. Trust me, being a mom is not easy. I go to bed at night sometimes wondering if I could have handled something differently that happened during the day. We can never get it perfect. My last thought, think of the show "the nanny"... I have had to do a few of her tactics for an hour one night keeping her in the bed. Imagine doing that with a teenager. Do you want to handle this now or when your child IS a teenager? I'd rather go through it now.

i like to pick my battles, and this is such a minor one. i wouldn't allow any lap-sitting, but if he wants to stand? whatever.
i would not let this snowball into a huge issue. dimes to donuts if you make this an non-issue, it will quit mattering to him.
save your strength for biggies. they WILL come.
khairete
S.

Do they sit in high chairs or booster seats?

My 2.5 year old son also does not like to sit at the table for dinner. Lunch is his big meal, and he often does not want to eat much, if anything for dinner (so frustrating!). But that is the only meal we can have together as a family, so I want him to be at the table. We started using a kitchen timer and told him that he has to be at the table for 5 minutes with us. Some nights he makes it for 5 minutes only, but other nights he lasts much longer. We also focus on asking him questions about his day and talking to him about other things of interest while at the table. For example, "What do you think your cousin is having for dinner?", etc. He gave up a booster seat a long time ago and now either sits or kneels on a regular chair. His learning that he has to be at the table, but can leave after 5 minutes seems to have helped a lot. That seems to be a good compromise for me at the moment. Good luck - food/mealtime issues are a big pain!

I think I have a little different opinion then most moms. Is it really so bad if he stands at the table while he eats? My thoughts are as long as he is eating then who cares. I have seen moms getting after there children to use their forks and spoons....I think manners are important but things like that also come with age. I encourage my daughter to sit with us and use her fork but if she uses her fingers or stands at the table while she eats I just dont make a big deal out of it. I think that he would get sick of standing eventually and sit down I guess it comes down to picking your battles in my opinion and as long as he is eating then that is the important thing. Also I would praise your other child for sitting like such a big girl so that he sees how pleased you are with her.

Hi H.,
It's funny you bring this question up. Im not sure this will work for you, but it did us. When our son was 2 years old (now 3), he was not a good eater, but we made him sit with us, with a plate of food. At first he kept getting up, so for two nights straight my husband and I did the naughty corner thing. Once he started to act up my husband picked him up and put him in the corner (he cried of course) my husband then went and got him and told him that even if he doesn't eat he will sit with us and share in family conversations. Of course he acted out again, so once again my husband did the routine again. So after two nights and many trips to the naughty corner my son got the idea that either he sat with us or he would be spending a lot of time in the corner. Just remember if you do this you have to have consistant and don't give any warnings and just put him there with no talking to him until you go get him from the corner. It will be fustrating for the whole family, but in the end it worked for us. Now he will actually try some of the food. Also we did not stop each night until he sat with us without acting out(of course he sat there mad, but he was quiet). Good Luck and if your husband does this just give him postive support. I thought my husband was going to lose it, but together we got through it.

I liked what Jackie S had to say to you and I'd ditto her advice. If Supernanny were there she'd give him a warning to sit at the table because it is time to eat Lunch/Dinner as a family or he'll have to sit at the naughty corner. Then if he doesn't obey take him to the corner for 2 minutes...ignoring him and then after 2 minutes bring him back...it is a test of wills and this is the age where they begin to learn to follow rules...it'll catch on as long as you are consistent! Supernanny rocks if you get a chance to watch her..I've learned a lot and have kept my cool using her strategies! Have fun!

Our doctor said that it's a power thing - resist giving into him sitting on your lap and/or standing to eat. If he's hungry enough, he'll sit. A night or two of not eating dinner won't hurt him and he'll realize he can't make up the dinner time rules. I'd go heavy on the after noon snack because it's hard for me to know my son hasn't eaten dinner but it works.
Stay strong and don't give in to his temper tantrums for a few days and it won't be an issue.
Good luck!

my boyfriend calls this bribing, but I call it negotiating....

"okay, everybody, whoever sits and the table and eats, gets to pick out the dessert"
or gets to make the dessert

maybe he doesn't like where he normally sits ????
good luck

H. - When my daughter was 3, we could not get her to sit at the table. Our pediatrician gave us a solution that worked. We went to the dollar store and bought about 10 items initially (a pack of pencils or farm animals goes a long way [smile]). We put all the items in a shoe box. Now when it was time for dinner, we would set the timer for 15 minutes. If she sat still and ate for 15 minutes she would get to pick something out of the box. It worked! She would still be restless after the 15 minutes was up, but as time went on we would set the timer for more and more time (20 minutes then 25 min. etc.). You may want to include your too so it's a fun game for both! I H. this helps.

He is testing you- do not give in. When he starts this he must be removed from the table and take a time out in his room or on a couch. He is only allowed back in the room if he is willing to sit at the table and eat.

One of the most important diciplines your child must learn is to sit at the table and behave. Stand firm on this one (or should I say "sit firm". DO NOT GIVE IN to this test of your authority.

Well, I have twin boys myself but they are 12 years old now. If I was in that situation I would still fix his plate and put him in his high chair and ask him to eat if he refuses or throw a temper tantrum then I would just put him in time out but never yell at him. Or you could find something that he likes for example stickers and reward him when he eats like giving him one sticker for clearing his plate. Stickers dont sound like much but believe me they work.

Does he sit in a booster seat or just in his chair? I have a friend who's little boy at 2 didn't want to sit in his booster seat anymore. Once they took it away it was much better.
Good luck!

From my experience, this sounds like a battle of the wills. If I were in your shoes, I would bring your son to the table with the family and feed him just like you do your daughter. When he starts to throw a tantrum, I would give him a warning. Something like, "if you do not sit in your chair, you will have to go and sit in time out while we eat". If he were to continue with the tantrum, I would remove him from the table and tell him that as soon as he calms down he can sit back down and eat. You would not be withholding food from him, just giving him the gentle hint that his tantrums will not be tolerated. This is what I have had to do with my youngest and we no longer have the tantrums at meal times.

It could also be that he is not comfortable in the chair he is sitting in. If he is in a regular high chair, try a booster seat or something of that sort. Or you could even let him sit on his knees in a regular adult chair (my older two loved to sit like mommy and daddy at the table).

H. this helps at least a little!