Early Wake Up

Updated on February 09, 2009
J.S. asks from New York, NY
14 answers

Alot of you responded to my issue with keeping my son up to see my husband. Most of you said i should keep him up and eventually he will sleep later in the am. He often goes to sleep around 8 30 and wakes up around 6am, that is not a lot of sleep for a 22 month old. No matter how hard i try, black out shades, white noise, keeping him in the crib till 7- 730 sometimes, he still wakes up before 6 30. He wakes up yawning, tired and cranky indicating to me that he hasnt gotten adequate sleep. Is there anything i can do to try to get him to sleep later. I do like having him see my husband at night as long as i can get through to him that it is "quiet, down time" not play time when he gets home...ideally it would be great for him to stay up till 8 to see his daddy as long as he slept till at least 7. tia!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

That might be enough sleep for him. Seems like you can-
not have both-see Dad and sleep late. So you have to
chose what is more important.

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C.K.

answers from New York on

Getting him to sleep later to accomodate your husband is not the answer, especially since it's not working! Either your husband should get home from work earlier (adjust HIS schedule) or learn how to interact with him in a quieter way when he gets home from work (he can do it if he really tries). He can save the "excited" play for the weekend or when he is off from work.

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M.A.

answers from New York on

I'm sorry, but i really think you need to put your child's sleeping needs before your husband's need to see him every night. in a little bit, your child will be old enough to stay up a little later, but right now, he is telling you with his yawns, and being cranky, that he needs to go to sleep earlier. the situation is not ideal, but what can you do? don't make your child suffer. i'm sure him and dad have good quality time together on the weekend. a couple of months of not not seeing him at night isn't going to ruin their relationship. put your child first.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

I have to throw my 2 cents in. I think you need to put your son to bed in the evening when he gets tired, whether or not his dad is home yet. You can't "make" a child sleep at certain hours. All you can do is respect his need for sleep. His biological clock just isn't in sync with your husband's work schedule right now and there is nothing you can do about it. It won't last forever, and they will enjoy each other's company on the weekends much more if he is a well-rested and healthy little boy. Maybe they can make Saturday mornings their special time together while you do something for yourself. Remember, the goal you and your husband share is that he have a wonderful relationship with your son. Depriving him of sleep doesn't further that goal. Additionally, sleep begets sleep. Your son may actually sleep later in the morning and have longer naps if he goes to bed a little earlier at night.

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K.D.

answers from New York on

Have you tried taking him into bed with you and cuddling with him in the mornings? That always worked for my kids at that age. Of course, now, that has imploded on me, I should warn you, and they try getting in my bed at midnight now. But I do love the early morning cuddles with the kiddos.

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I just responded to the other request and I was thinking...every time change, about a week before I start keeping my 5 kids up later or put them down earlier (depending on which way we're going)by 15 minutes each day or 2...this way by the time the change finally comes we are already ready for it...sleep is a habit...I would try a little at a time...if he wakes up cranky everyday...maybe you can adjust the routine a little...maybe he can crawl in bed with you and watch elmo or the news for 15mins or longer...or just ease into the day slowly...I don't always like to jump into the day...I like to slowly get there over a half hour...why would a kid be any different?? some people are morning people, some aren't! Good luck!

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E.E.

answers from New York on

I think the advice you were given on your previous post was totally wrong. Babies actually sleep longer the earlier they go to bed. The later they go to bed, the earlier they will wake up. My husband works late a few night a week and he understands that he will not get to see our son those nights because my son goes to bed at 7 or 7:30 (he's 12 months). Put him to bed early and maybe your husband can get up with him in the morning and play with him before he goes to work. Give him the job of getting him up and feeding him breakfast. This is what we do on the days my husband works late. He sounds extremely overtired and it will only get worse the longer he stays up too late. You have to explain to your husband the importance of sleep for young children and tell him not to be selfish. Maybe there is a way he can change his hours- go in an hour earlier so he can be home earlier.
In addition to the obvious problems like irritability and sleepiness, poor sleep habits have been linked to hyperactivity, inattention (similar symptoms to ADD, which may account for the increase in diagnosis- many of these kids are probably just overtired) and less able to absorb and learn new things, resulting in lower IQ scores in long-term studies. Scary stuff.

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E.G.

answers from New York on

Can you give him an extra nap during the day? If not, I am sorr yto sound mean but I think you or your husband (or both) are acting selfish as parents. The child needs to sleep well or it may lead to learning and personality problems that stick through his life. Have you read Dr. Weisbluth's book? Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I am not saying I agree 100% with his methods but I can't count them out either. We as parents need to decide what is right for our kids, we made them and we have to help them become strong and productive adults. I think your husband and son would enjoy eachother better if they did only see eachother on weekends. If that is what the schedule allows then that is what must be. It is the best thing for your child. He is TELLING you that by his behavior!!

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A.P.

answers from New York on

I have a similar problem. My husband leaves for work at 6am at the latest, and doesn't get home until around 8 pm most nights. Here are a few things that worked for me, although everyone's different... I moved my son's nap to a little later in the afternoon. He doesn't go down until 3pm, and typically sleeps til about 5 or 5:30, which means he is usually okay to stay up until dad can get home to do the bedtime routine. Don't get me wrong, if your son is really exhausted, don't force this. But, for my son, moving his nap (slowly) didn't seem to bother him. If it did, I might try to still get two naps out of him, if possible. In other words, take an early afternoon nap, and then maybe a short pre-dinner one.

Also, my son is an early riser. Sometimes he wakes up at 6, just as dad has left the house. I have brought him into my bed in order to try to catch some extra z's. Now, I'm pregnant and exhausted (and my son only seems to want to cuddle for a few minutes in my bed before wanting to be up), so I bring him down to the living room and he watches a few of his favorite tv shows. (I know that's not necessarily the best thing for him, but I need to get some rest!)

If you try a few things and nothing seems to work for your son, you may just have to put him to bed earlier and then have dad spend some extra time with him on weekends (which means some potential mommy time for you!) Good luck.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Give him time to get used to the new schedule and don't take him out of the crib right away, wait 5 or 10 minutes for a week and then 5 or 10 minutes more the next week. Most children wake up during the night for a couple of minutes and then go back to sleep by themselves.

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E.S.

answers from Albany on

All my 3 had that schedule, I dont think it is unreasonable for him to wake up at 6:30, When he can intellectualize and understand reasons your problem will be more easily resolved. Its alog the same lines as if you trying to apply strict tablemanners to a 2 year old.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

With both of my kids I would let them stay in their cribs to play. Let's say he wakes up at 6. Don't go in until he is crying to get out. On the first few days don't go in until 6:15 if he's crying, then slowly build it out until you are at the time you want. If you always go right to him at 6 he will think 6 is an ok time to get up. I never let my kids cry hysterically though. I am just suggesting letting him whimper etc.
We also keep a few soft toys in the crib with the kids too so they have something to play with when they get up. They often now get up and play for up to an hour with out crying to get out.
Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

I think some kids are just programmed to wake up earlier. No matter what time I put my daughter to bed (she's not 3), she has ALWAYS woken up between 6:30 and 7:00. The only difference is that when I put her to bed earlier she woke up more rested the next day. Other parents I know have successfully had their children sleeping later in the morning, but it never seemed to work for us. It was h*** o* my husband not to see her in the evenings every night, but we decided that her sleep needs were more important, and he would try to spend extra time with her in the mornings, according to her schedule. It's worked out well for us. Good luck. I know it's a hard process.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I have the same issues with my son...he's 22 months old also. My son loves to fight sleep now too! uughh! I think he could easily be asleep by 8:00 but my husband doesn't get home until 7:30 so inevitably my son gets a second wind and doesn't usually settle down until about 9:15. Even if he is tired, its not so easy to just put him to bed like others suggest before daddy gets home, b/c he knows and is waiting for daddy to come home so he fights sleep. He'll even ask - daddy home? He wants to see his daddy and is smart enough to know that he'll be home soon. I've come to trust that by 9:15 he'll be asleep though - its my saving grace, but that is late in my mind. He wakes up at 6:30 most mornings no matter what, sometimes he'll sleep til 7:30 - 8:00, but usually its 6:30 - no matter how late he goes. The problem is I work full time so I find that many days I'm dragging him out of the house and he's falling asleep on his way to school - which is a 3 minute ride or he's over tired when he spends all day with grandma/grandpa. So I understand you're concern and feeling that he's not getting enough sleep. Also, the later he sleeps, the more pushed back our schedule gets, so those late days I'm not picking him up or getting home until after 6:00 and I hate that...but I am trying to rethink what the "perfect" schedule is for me vs what the perfect schedule is for him. Despite what time he goes to sleep or gets up he pretty much is sleeping the same amount of time I think, which must be enough for him - those days he seems tired in the morning, I try to make up some of his sleep with his nap time (or I instruct any caregivers to adjust the schedule some) I like him to take a nap a little earlier, then let him sleep a little longer - I never wake him up - most days he sleeps two hours during nap, some he sleeps an hour and a half but others he sleeps three. Can you try to make up for the shorter nights by implementing an earlier, longer nap time during the day? If you could get your son to bed before daddy gets home, thats good, but I know from experience its not that easy or ideal for a few different reasons.

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