Does This Happen to You?

Updated on July 13, 2011
D.H. asks from Briarcliff Manor, NY
11 answers

Invariably in my dealings with men who are plumbers, electricians, mechanics, or similar work, even when I thoroughly understand what needs to be done, their treatment borders on condescension. I usually get a response wherein they suggest I have no clue what I'M talking about. What is this? Does it happen to you and if so how do you handle it?

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So What Happened?

In the particular experience I've most recently gone through, it was definitely NOT me. Not only was the individual in question condescending to me, he loudly proclaimed that my husband, who wasn't even there to defend himself, was '"absolutely wrong". The guy had the nerve to ask if I knew how to work the basic functions of the appliance in question. Finally, he claimed there was nothing wrong, charged me a whopping amount of money to show up and do nothing but turn the system back on. Alas, he's in business for himself so I've noone to complain to. Perhaps this guy has more clients than he knows what to do with; he certainly shouldn't worry about adding one more from me!

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C.B.

answers from New York on

YESSSSS! However, I use it to my advantage. I let them think I don't know what I am doing to see if they will try to take advantage. When I see that they are honest I hire them if not I show them the door.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Yes. I work in a male dominated industry. It is fun to see them act like goobers and then I turn around and nail them! What I do is I just work through the attitude and let them see that I do know what I'm talking about and am very educated in my field. I try not to take it personally because its generally the older male employees who act like this.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

" . . .their treatment borders on condescension."

I guess you've never been to the DMV or delt with a cop that just pulled you over for doing 28 in a 25 zone, or with other employees (public servants, now that's an oxymoron for you) that make you feel like you are lucky to even be "helped".

How do I handle it? I get done with my business with them ASAP and move on.

Good luck to you and yours.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Thats when you read up on the work that you are going to have done, and dazzle them with your knowledge.

Sometimes its just the way it is, and you just have to smile and put up.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

I look research first and learn the terms they use. "If you can't do the talk, you can't do the walk." I ask friends for recommendations. I look stuff up on the internet and dope out which sites are reliable. I even look stuff up on youtube to see how to do it yourself and how contractors do the work. I even prep my hubby. Both hubby and I tried to make the appointments for times we both can be there, so there's no misunderstandings between the 2 of us. Just trying to get the contractor to understand is hard enough. I find that contractors don't always understand you unless you use their lingo/terms. You can't tell a plumber, "That thingy won't go down to stop the water from filling up the tank." Of course, he'll look at you and think you're an idiot. You might very well know how to fix it, but it doesn't look that way if you don't know what the parts are called.

Another tip is to call more than one contractor for the job. Not just to get a quote, but to find out who really knows what they are doing. I find some contractors have limited knowledge in their field, either because of lack of experience or they didn't have formal classes and used to be a handyman.

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

No, not really. I treat people with respect and generally get it back. Occasionally, someone will talk to me like I don't know what I'm talking about, but I don't take offense to it.....occasionally, I don't know what I'm talking about. (ha) Are you taking it the wrong way if someone is explaining something that you think they should take for granted that you know, or are you saying that they are actually speaking to you with condescension? I know some people get aggravated with being told something they know. I don't. But I don't take kindly to someone treating me like I'm stupid just because I'm a female or whatever.
If someone doesn't speak respectfully or listen to me, then I will say "I understand that this is your job and you handle this everyday, but I'd like you to hear me out before I make the decision to hire you or continue searching for a professional who will". (This has happened more with doctors than blue collar workers, in my personal experience).

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S.H.

answers from New York on

Yes, it happens often. Our society is still so annoyingly sexist and stereotypical. I insist on my points and if I'm still not treated properly, I move on to the next one. There are nicer ones out there. It depends on what you are willing to tolerate and how much time you have to seek out the more like minded individuals.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

If someone treats me that way, I cut the work short if possible. I certainly would not call them again.
Thankfully, it doesn't happen very often. Once when the carpenter from our builder came out to fix a problem in our closet, he had the gall to say he would never allow his wife to buy so many clothes! I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but something biting!

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G.A.

answers from New York on

I have also experienced a rude treatment from a refrigerator technician who kept on ignoring what I was saying. He simply won't listen. I was so aggravated that I promised to myself not to request for the company that he works for should there again be a fridge problem.

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H.P.

answers from New York on

I don't say anything usually but think to myself that this guy knows absolutely nothing about my line of work so we're on equal footing!

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