Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?

Updated on May 03, 2010
J.F. asks from Colorado Springs, CO
15 answers

Does anyone else have a really hard time getting into imaginary play with their child? I would much rather do just about anything else with my daughter, who is 4, but when I need to pretend to be a mermaid, a dragon, or whatever, it's a real stretch for me. I do it to keep her happy, especially since she has no siblings, but I feel guilty that I'm really not so into it. Anyone have some tips as to making this more bearable? She does play well on her own, and we do lots together, but this is just a tough area for me. Thanks for any advice.
I am editing to clarify: it's not that it's always awful--it's just been a long day and I am pooped. I can certainly be more enthusiastic, depending on the day. I am painfully aware that she won't be little forever, and so I do the imaginary play thing when called upon, but I do feel guilty that I'm not having more fun sometimes (it does get repititious, as someone mentioned). I know that this type of creative play is very important. Just wondered whether anyone else felt this way, or if I'm the only stick in the mud :).

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So What Happened?

Thanks, moms! It's good to know I am not alone. Sometimes that's all it takes to be able to take a deep breath and charge ahead. I appreciate your feedback.

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C.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I totally feel this way! my 4 yr old is also an only child and so I feel guilty when I don't want to play with her this way. I can draw or paint or cook any of those things with her but when she wants to get out the polly pockets or play scooby doo...I do it most of the time but I hate it! lol. I never played dolls as a kid either so add that to my don't know what I'm doing and don't really like it list! You my friend are SO not alone! when I start feeling like I'm not being a good mom for not playing I make myself stop and make a mental list of the things I do for my daughter and the stuff we have done together. then I don't feel so guilty about calling up one of her friends mom's to borrow a friend for my daughter then they can play together and I don't have to--and bonus my friend gets a break as well. Her daddy is SO much better at playing dolls than I am, hows that for a funny one?
thanks for asking this sometimes I feel like I'm the only mom that thinks I'd rather go to the dentist and have a root canal today on certain days... :)

2 moms found this helpful

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E.M.

answers from Denver on

Well, first of all, you are not alone! I get soooo bored doing this stuff too but, like you, I always feel really bad that I feel this way. One thing that my 4 year old like to do it cook so I let her help in the kitchen. She doesn't have much of an attention span but I do like to sit and do painting or drawing with her. Sometimes, its just enough if I call her Princess Lauren or whatever while we are doing other things--like cooking. "Princess Lauren, could you please put the sugar into the mixing bowl?" And she will say "Yes, your Majesty!" and do it. Anyway, you're a great mom for doing it even if you are bored for tears. That's one reason we have lots of friends over to play!

4 moms found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

hahah i feel the exact same way. i am really pushing myself to eat pretend food and play doctor with the kids. its something i do for them because i love them and they just like to spend time with their mommy, they dont care if im good at it or not.........so keep doing what your doing and know that you are not weird or alone.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

I hate puppets and clowns, I could not stand Sesami Street (sp) But I watched it with mine for years, also Barny............aaaggghhhhh. But when the time came that they were to old for this stuff, I missed it. So it goes by real fast, enjoy this time making believe. It wont be long before she will not want to do it with you anymore.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I used to feel this way! Don't stress, and if you don't want to, just don't. It won't hurt her if she has to do something else. I could not play barbies either, and I just patted myself on the back for what I could handle, and accepted what I couldn't, and since my mother did not play with me, I just thought it was fine.

Find another 4 year old and invite them over, it goes a long way...

M.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I both love, and get weary of, pretend play with my grandboy. At 4 1/2, he is so into repetitious heroes and villains, monsters, airplanes…. And he's a little playwrite/director, letting me know exactly what my roles are.

But I so adore watching HIM have a delightful time, exercising his imagination, learning social skills, enriching his vocabulary, and I love throwing in the occasional little educational challenge (keeps ME engaged and alert for opportunities). I'll dearly miss this stage when it eventually gives way to something else.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

All your kids really want is some love, and your attention. Just like the others said, take the time and do it. They are only young for so long, and before you know it, they will be having play dates, and playing independently. So relish it while you can! You can always change it up a bit. Add some things that might be fun for you too. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L.H.

answers from Savannah on

I have a house full of boys and let me tell you... I am about sick to death of playing pirates, soldiers/war, kickball, hide-and-seek that almost always turns into hide-and-i'll-find-you-and-wrestle-you-to-the-ground.... its exhausting!

BUT - I am with Daisey on this one - it'll all be over so fast. Before I know they'll be bringing GIRLS home for crying out loud....

I'll take pirates over my baby boys being grown up any day... at least for a little while longer. Grab a red bull and go with the flow madame!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.E.

answers from Provo on

oh yes, i have definitely felt this way. and it seems that people tolerate various ages better than others. my mom couldn't stand 8/9 yr old girls. they just drove her crazy. but she loves doing crafts and games with 3 yr olds. i agree with Martha R. get her a playmate. even just having a friend over for an hour can give you peace to think without the jabbering in your ear that 4 yr olds can be so good at. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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A.R.

answers from Denver on

Nope, you're not alone. I will read to my kids, take them to the park, zoo whatever, but I'm really not the get down on the floor and play pretend kinda Mom. I have a 2 yr. old and a 4 yr. so they play together, so I don't have that problem right now. BUT, before my youngest was old enough to play I had a "Mommy Helper" , the daughter of a friend who would come over and play with my son to give me a little break while I'm at home. She was 8 when she started, so she would play all kinds of pretend games with him. She's 11 now and during the summer she still comes over 2x a week to play with both kids now. Which is great since I'm expecting #3 and really won't have energy to go outside and play this summer.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.R.

answers from Denver on

I can totally relate! My 3 year old would have me play spiderman/super heroes all day if he had his way. I have tried sports, games, crafts and all only hold his attention for a short time. He always goes back to imaginary play! There is only so long I can have a sword fight!!!! No real suggestions, just wanted you to know you are not alone. I take him places a lot---museums, parks, picnics and that seems to help keep him interested in other things.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had two close together because I can't stand playing school! hahaha! So that's my only recomendation... have another! Just kidding! :-)

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M.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm lucky, because my 3yo has 2 older siblings who love it in the evening when I am DONE (put a fork in me). I like the idea of having a mommy's helper come by some evenings for a break. Any tweens in your neighborhood?

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D.W.

answers from Boise on

I say find a friend her age that can swap once a week with you. So they can play at your house for a couple hours and vice versa. That way you and your friend get a break for a couple of hours once a week too. :)

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S.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I totally agree with you. I have very rarely played pretend with my kids. I let their friends or siblings do that. Maybe that is why I have 5 kids, so I don't have to. I think you are a great mom that you even do it as much as you do.

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