Do Your Children Do Sleepovers?

Updated on January 03, 2017
L.U. asks from Kirkland, WA
25 answers

A previous question had me thinking....
Do you allow your children to do sleepovers?
My kids are 14, 11, and 6. They have not asked to do any sleepovers, but if they did the answer would be "no." I just don't feel comfortable letting them sleep at people's houses, and truth be told...I don't want other kids sleeping at my house (I work a swing shift and am not even home until 1am, my husband gets up early weekends to go to work. I don't want to get up early on my ONLY day to sleep in past 8am.)
So, what do you think?!

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So What Happened?

It's I was reading the responses I thought..."Oh! Well, yes...they have slept over at a team mates house before heading off to a soccer game/trip. They have slept over at my cousins before a big hike. They did sleep over at their uncles, once."
So maybe they have had a few sleep overs! LOL!
But really....when I was a kid I LOVED sleepovers! Why?! Because we watched inappropriate TV shows, we played "games" in the closet, we looked at a dirty magazine, we get the picture.
And now things are at their finger tips! Except it's not a magazine, it's the whole WORLD on their phones or on the internet. No thanks!
Sometimes I think that maybe I am a bit overprotective on this subject. There are no sleepovers if they are not necessary. But then I think, Meh. I am pretty laid back about a lot of other things!
Thanks moms.

Featured Answers



answers from Denver on

Yes. They constantly have sleepovers. My kids are 19, 16 and 14. The 19yr old does NOT do sleepovers, but the two younger ones (both girls) pretty much have friends over every weekend. They also spend over at other places pretty often. I did that as a kid/teen and it's just one of those things we never really gave much thought to. Each family is different and you do whatever works for you.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

My parents put an extra bed in my room when I was a teenager. I have such great memories of having friends sleep over although I wasn't allowed to sleep at anyone's house.

My 13 yo slept over a friend's house last night and my 18 yo has a friend sleeping over right now. I think sleepovers are such fun!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

My kids haven't had sleep overs and have said they don't want to. There was one invitation a number of years ago and they didn't want to go. We tried to see if maybe they wanted to change it to a PJ party or something but it never went past that.
I was never a fan of sleepovers and didn't go to or have them myself. It's not my thing. I like my own bed, my own routine in the morning. My kids are the same. My husband didn't do sleep overs growing up either.
Kids can have more than enough fun together and then go home to sleep.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Washington DC on

you've mentioned a few times your aversion to sleepovers. your kids aren't tiny, you've never allowed it, and your kids have clearly internalized your parental edict and don't fight it.
so it works for your family.
it would never work for mine. not only did i love sleepovers with friends (they were rare but hugely exciting events for me) but because i lived a plane trip away from both sets of grandparents, getting to spend time at their homes, just me, no brothers or parents, was the basis for me developing deep and loving relationships with them and WONDERFUL memories.
my boys slept at the grandparents' homes from the time they were infants. i wanted them to have that same bond. and we never had an age rule, that i remember, for sleepovers with friends. when they were old enough to ask, and we knew the parents and kids involved, we had no problem with it. my kids are outgoing and confident and they loved it.
best of all was having sleepovers at our house. i loved having them all here. during the homeschool years (tweens and teens) we'd have a big houseful more often than not on the weekends. lumps and piles and stacks of kids.
if you don't like it, you totally get to not do it. it wouldn't have been childhood for us or our kids without the grand adventure of sleepovers.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Yes for my older. Not yet for my younger but once he gets to about 3rd grade I'm ok with it.

I can't imagine childhood without sleepovers. My best friend and I almost lived at each other's houses. Because of that, I'm still close with her mom, and she's still close with my parents. Personally, I think you are missing out on the chance to develop relationships with some of the people who will have the most influence over your kids as they head into their teens - their best friends

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I have wonderful memories of hosting and attending sleepovers as a child. My children have been doing sleepovers since they were 3-4 years old. I enjoy having extra kids around. Sometimes sleepovers are just for fun, but sometimes they are for convenience, like if we have a late night or early morning activity planned. I have had a kid wake me up in the middle of the night and want to go home, and that was annoying, but mostly they are no extra bother. If sleepovers don't work for you and your kids are ok with that, then that works for you. If I found my kids were getting left out of a lot of stuff because of it then I would rethink my stand on it. Nobody wants to be the kids who gets to hear about all the fun stuff the other kids did together on the weekend.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Some of my greatest memories of my childhood were sleepovers with my friends.

My daughter just turned 22 this week. She had sleepovers almost every weekend growing up starting around age 4-5. Most of the time, sleepovers were ay my house but I was ok with having the house children wanted to be to play, eat, etc.

I never expected reciprocation because I had an only daughter and large area for her to have friends and it never was a bother. Many children lined coming here because it hit them out of their house with their siblings.

To this day many of those now 20 something's still stop by to see me when they are home from college. It was amazing at the support most of them showed to me and my daughter when my husband suddenly died.

I wouldn't change a thing about sleepovers and other parents knew that we stayed on top of things to ensure their safety while at our home,

All that said..... you do what's best for your family. For my family... they were great and enjoyable.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

My kids love sleepovers, just like I did when I was a kid.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Atlanta on

Our kids have been doing sleepovers since they were three years old, however many of my daughter's friends' parents waited until age 10. Our kids love them and I think it does something special for their relationships. But as Suz says, the decision is completely up to you and your husband. If sleepovers don't work for you all, you shouldn't do them.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

My son loves sleepovers.. now that he is 13, they mainly are weekend camping trips with his Boy Scout troop.

Occasionally we have his friends over or he go there.

If you have a different work schedule, I can see why you may not enjoy sleepovers at your home, but I would allow the kids to go over to a friends home.

It builds social skills, connectivity, as well as learning how other people live and their family dynamic. I learned so much about how other families operated. Many memories were made by sleepovers with my friends-most of whom I still talk with, even their parents!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Of course, why wouldn't they?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I can't imagine a life of no sleepovers. One of my sons has a friend over right now (it's 1 AM). Our kids play hockey and more often than not, if there is an early practice, we'll have a teammate sleep at our house or our son will sleep at a teammate's house so that only one family has to get up early. My kids go away on vacation with other families, and their kids come away with us. Sometimes I have 6 kids sleeping at my house, and sometimes I have none, including my own, because they all have sleepovers. My oldest started sleepovers with the son of one of my good friends when he was 3, and with kids from school when he was 7 or 8. Same with my younger boys, except that my youngest started having sleepovers with his best friend in Kindergarten. We are practically family to each other, and I consider that boy my 4th son and his parents consider my son their second son. I guess to each her own, but I can't imagine this not being a normal part of our routine. I'm not exaggerating when I say that we have sleepovers (either hosting or sending a child) almost every weekend of the year as well as all summer long.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

If it works for your family - sure, they can be really fun. If not, no worries.

My kids have all been to sleepovers, and have had kids here. My kids also go to sleep away camp.

One of my kids has a hard time falling asleep unless at home, so he's decided as he's gotten older that he'd rather we pick him up around 10 pm so he can still have fun but get rest. We used to have to go get him and that wasn't much fun.

Tonight we will have kid(s) sleep here as a bunch coming for New Years. Sometimes we do it to help out other parents. We're friends/friendly with our kids' friends' parents so we all know each other.

One of my kids is pretty introverted. For him, he found it exhausting to be with a friend that long. So it depends on your kid too.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

My son had his first sleepover a week or so ago. It was a late, long night for me and an early wake-up. He's nearly 10, we promised he could do them when he was 9. His maturity level was our primary indicator.

I think you have to do what works for you. We waited a long time, comparatively, because I knew it would be *work*. That said, all went well, so we will try it again some time with kids who are 'known entities', as it were. And I'd be okay with him staying with some of the families we know... they may not parent the way we do, but I know he'd be safe, fine and they are caring, loving parents. If that weren't the case,then no-- we would decline the invitation. Common sense, n'est-ce pas?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Wausau on

Sometimes. I've known the parents of their go-to-sleepover friends since preschool or kindergarten. If one mentioned some random new friend that I'd never heard of, I'd say No. My younger year old might have a neighborhood kid sleepover here tonight.

My sleepover hosting philosophy is similar with my own childhood/teen experience. I feed the kids and then basically stay out of the way. I don't plan activities or whatnot. We have plenty of options in the house for playing, watching, etc.

My boys don't do sleepovers nearly as often as I did. My childhood is full of sleepover memories. It was a big deal then. Sometimes I'd spend the night at a friend's house on Friday, then she'd spend the night at mine on Saturday. We probably didn't get much sleep at all. Now I'm like "But I love to sleep..." lol

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

Yes our kids do sleepovers sometimes. My son started having sleepovers with this one friend when he was 7. They were both very good about going to bed when I told them to. We did let them stay up a little later...but they are both kids who want to go to bed. He once had a group sleepover for his 11th birthday and it was a pain in the a**. There were 5 boys who came to spend the night and two of them wanted to keep everyone up all night. Then I said, no more! My son actually agreed with me at the time. But a year later I let him have one friend come sleep over and they were really good. My 7 year old daughter has slept at a friend's house once...her very best friend. I am very good friends with that mom so it was kind of like sleeping over with family for her. If I had your work schedule I also would not do it.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

Mine are 7 and 9 years old.

My 9 year old does sleep overs at least once a month sometimes twice. In exchange we have the girl over at our house. The girls have known each other since they were 3 years old but go to different schools now.

We also have friends which we keep their 2 kids on some Friday's and they take our 2 kids the next weekend a night. So each couple has a night for themselves and don't need to call for a babysitter. We live in the neighborhood in walking distance. Which is convenient in case the kids change their mind and want to come home.

I loved sleep overs as a child. It is one of my favorite childhood memories.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

The only thing our son did was Parents Night Out lock downs at taekwondo - from 9 to 14 yrs old.
He loved it, had a great time with lots of kids of all ages, was well supervised by more than one adult and always came home happy and exhausted.
He never wanted to sleep anyone else s house and never asked to.
He never wanted to invite anyone over to our house either.
I know lots of kids do sleep overs - but we've never been big on doing something just because 'everyone else is doing it'.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

My girls are 17 and almost 15. They did not do sleepovers at very young ages. I would say from late elementary through middle school, they did quite a few. Less so now that they are older, because their circles now include boy friends and/or boyfriends, so no sleepovers after whatever weekend activity is going on. Back when they did do sleepovers, mostly they got invites to friends' homes, whom we trusted and it was no problem. Less often, they invited a friend to sleep over at our house. I admit that was often stressful for me because I can't comfortably sleep when there are kids still up in my house. I think they each had one or two birthday sleepover parties here, and that was enough! Very rarely did we ever have more than one friend at a time sleepover, or it was just too much drama.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Yes - but I am picky about them. She has a select few friends whose house I will let her sleep at. I know the parents well.

As for my house, I am all for sleepovers over here. She and her friends have proven to be good at them. They keep the lights off in the hallways and stay reasonably quiet when it gets late.


answers from New York on

Honest answer: I freaking loath sleepovers! They make my stomach hurt! I'm a worrier that had a pretty suspect and crappy childhood, so I have issues of my own. So much unknown and out of my control, ugh, I'm so not a fan! But with that being said, I don't want my issues to be my kids issues so yes, my kids have had sleepovers here & over at others. Not often, but enough that they have fun memories and aren't missing out on what should be a fantastic childhood right of passage.

So yes, I will sacrifice sleep and peace of mind, occasionally, for my kids BUT only when it feels right to me! Seriously, has to be OK in the gut area & there's lots of communication that has to happen.

You do you & don't feel guilty. They aren't going to be scarred people b/c they never had a sleepover! I think the fact that you've made it this far w/out them asking make sure you one lucky lady, ha!



answers from San Antonio on

We host more than my kids go to sleepovers.

My son has one friend who stays over about every six weeks. They no longer go to school together so it gives them time to reconnect.

My daughter has several friends who spend the night. They all have a giggling good time and enjoy the event.

Lately I have started the new rule of if my daughter has friends sleepover my son goes to a sleepover elsewhere. And vice versa. They are 12 and 9 right now...but the thought of teens sleeping over of the opposite sex doesn't sit right with me. And there are plenty of places between family and friends who like to have my kids for the evening.

I take it one invite and one sleepover at a time.



answers from Oklahoma City on

Sure, they started doing sleepovers when they were infants. With grandma and grandpa so I could get some rest or they came to me so that my daughter could get some rest.

Kids enjoy going over and doing the whole sleepover thing.

One thing that I do not do is let the kids go to someone's house where I've never been. I don't personally know the family? Then no, they don't go. If I am going to trust the kids to someone else it is going to be someone that I approve of their parenting skills, that I know won't go off and leave the kids alone, that won't have on R rated movies while the kids are in the same room, etc....



answers from Miami on

No. My daughter asked to attend a sleepover when she was about 4, I told her no, because I thought she was too young at that point, and she has never asked again. She also suffered from night terrors so I thought a sleepover would be a very bad idea, as she would freak out being in some stranger's home and having no one to calm her down and help her realize it was all just a dream. She is now 10 and since most of her friends are boys and puberty is starting to kick in, I doubt she will be invited to any sleepovers. She does sleep over at her grandma's, my mom's, and her aunt's, so she gets a change of scenery and gets to pack her stuff and galavant all over South Florida! I live in a condo and I would be unable to manage sleepovers considering the limited space so it has never crossed my mind to host one and I am not sure I'd trust my child in a home full of strangers, because I haven't gotten close enough to any parents to consider them trustworthy. If anything, I'd feel comfortable going to a cabin or a campsite at a state park and having a bunch of kids and their parents camping out with us as a group.

I had a couple of sleepovers as a kid, and didn't really care for them enough to keep pushing for more. I've always liked having my own space. It seems with your schedule, a sleepover may be a hassle, unless the kids sleep at someone else's house and you've already said you don't feel comfortable doing that. I guess I would just settle for kids having a late night weekend hangout instead (playing videogames, watching movies till late, etc. which works for me since I am a night owl and would have no issue picking my kid up at midnight to come home and sleep), or camping at a state park with a group of parents, so your kids are still around their friends, but the friends are constantly supervised and you're only responsible for watching your own kids. Some parents at my daughter's old school said they'd get together for New Year's, rent out campgrounds, split the cost, and bring sleeping bags and they'd spend the day fishing, playing on the beach, doing board games, playing sports, etc., and at night, each kid would go to their tent to sleep with their parent(s). It sounded like fun, but I spend NYE with my own family, so I never ended up joining them. Still, that might be an idea that works for you, it can be on a long weekend or during the holidays, unless you want to scrap the sleepover idea altogether, which is fine too!


answers from Dallas on

My boys (12 and 18) have always loved sleepovers at friends' houses and our house. I enjoy getting to know the boys' friends so well, and I like having kids at the house.

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