Divorce - Surprise,AZ

For all the reasons they've stated, I agree with the other posters to get a divorce. I would add that if you're thinking you'll get child support from him, I ask the question, has he paid child support while he's been gone? If not, why would he pay it when he's here and you're divorced?

I think I would have let the house go into foreclosure instead of modifying the loan. It really sounds like he wants to keep up his sham marriage just to get back in the states.

I'd file for divorce now and derail his efforts to come back to the US. He obviously doesn't really love you, A.. Why would you put yourself back in the position to be used again? And you aren't going to get any child support - that much is certain. If anything, he'll be trying to get you to support him. Don't do that.

Your son is 3 short years from legal adulthood. Don't let your husband repeat the past with you - go ahead and get out from under him. That will solve your problem with the girlfriend and his family too.

Usually the first appointment with a lawyer is free. Interview several lawyers and listen to what they say (take notes). Tell immigration that you have decided not to help him come back in the country and that you aren't going to stay married to him. That will help, too.

Look, he's made it clear that you are only a tool for him. Why would you want to live with that? He'll end up in another affair before long and it will be harder on your heart AND your pocketbook.

Dawn

WHY do you want a man (I use that term loosely) like this in your life as well as a role model for your son???

DO NOT support his immigration to our country. Sorry. But he's USING you. Plain and simple.

You need to figure out what YOU want. It sounds like you don't know what you want. Are you willing to SETTLE or do you want better for you and your son?

I personally would file for divorce and go on food stamps than be beholden to a man who would put my life and even WORSE - my CHILD'S LIFE in danger. I deserve better and more importantly - MY CHILD deserves better.

I wouldn't let him step ONE TOE into the U.S. I would FILE NOW. that's me...I can't make this decision for you though. This is something YOU have to decide and ONLY YOU can make this decision...

Are you better off with - or without him?

I'd say WITHOUT.

Get a divorce lawyer to talk with a lawyer that handles this immigration and green card stuff. If this isn't a real marriage any longer, why would you risk committing fraud against the government in order to bring him back here? He sounds like a really shady character to me. In fact, your entire situation sounds shady.

You don't sound like you know for sure what you want. First you have to figure out if you want to try to make your marriage work or not. If not, file for divorce and be done with it. I know you are on the West side of Phoenix but search "the divorce store" and see if there is one by you. There is one in Mesa for sure. I used them and it only cost me $695 to get divorced and that was including the extra cost for kids. The do all the paperwork, contact your husband and file everything with the court. I would not bother with the separation. Either stay together and work it out, or get divorced. Good luck.

If he's cheated on you for years, and he's been deported (not sure if that's for "cause" or just because he got caught with no visa), and you've been in great danger...then there's no choice. You absolutely must protect yourself, your son, and your financial position. I'm not sure why you might take him back - just to let him in the country, or because you have some hope for a good relationship? I don't see anything in your post that indicates your husband is a good guy. So you must file for divorce to protect your son's future and your own home ownership as well as your mental health. Get some good legal advice (including someone with immigration experience) and STOP letting him use you (your own words). I wouldn't forgive someone unless he was really sorry and took tremendous steps to prove it - which means protecting me and my son. You've said nothing to indicate that your husband has done anything at all for you except let your home go into foreclosure and take up with someone (while deceiving you) and letting her contact you. You need the full protection of US laws. Now. Your child is in high school and does not need the drama of a father who's in and out of his life, letting you (and your son) almost lose your home. I think you and your son are being manipulated. Stand up for yourself.

Divorce or legal separation depends on what you want in the long run. If you are truly done with this relationship, then file for divorce. But if you want to work on the marriage, then file for legal separation.

Divorce attorneys are very expensive. It doesn't sound like you have a bunch of community assets, especially since he's been gone for four years so you may be able to do it yourself.

You can always start out by yourself and at least get your Petition filed and then if it looks like it's going to get complicated, find an attorney then. At least this way you've got the Petition filed and he can't run up debts that you may be ordered to pay.

Good luck!

Personally i can't agree with divorce...i am totally against divorce...!!

I didn't read all the posts but when you sponsor someone's visa or immigration to the US, you sign an affidavit stating that you can afford to support that person so that they will not be a burden to society (or attempt to collect public assistance). So he may actually be entitled to alimony if you divorce him once he is in US territory.
Also, your son is 15, by the time this man gets here and gets a job and pays for any divorce expenses, there will be no time or money left to collect child support since your child will probably be 18 by then.
I think you are letting your emotions and feelings cloud your rationality and judgment.