Did He Say It by Accident?

Wow, people can be so judgmental on here.....who cares why you were out drinking, you are an adult and you are allowed to go out. You shouldnt always have to be at home barefoot, and knee deep in crayons and blocks. LOL

Some people on here should get out MORE.

Now to the advice, if he is a man that is not really used to drinking i wouldnt take anything he said, while drinking, to heart. But if he wasnt wasted and can throw a few back and still make sense, he might have meant it, the fun you guys were having might have sparked him into saying it. Who cares that you are a little "young at heart" for pondering this question. If he meant it, he will say it again soon.

I think Toni V needs to stop being so judgmental. In fact, if these are the kind of responses she gives, we mamas don't need her on this board. Find another message board where you can be insensitive and bullying!

I stopped worrying about this once I left high school.
My husband and I first met when we were young, and all the phone calls and love letters said "I Love You" and we meant it. We weren't drunk either.
As a couple, you need to establish acceptable communication levels of feelings / emotions.
Some guys say "I love you" once and expect they never have to say it again.
I love to say it and hear it multiple times a day.
Keep in mind actions can also say it (flowers, chocolates, dinner out, going to a movie - all obvious, taking out trash, washing the cars, fixing things when I need it, rotating the tires, rescuing M. when I lock my keys in the car - not so obvious but loving none the less).

Disregard it until he says it when sober and doesn't apologize for it.

Hi Jen,

I think you need to put all you energy into your 4 year old, who wants to be a "drop out" instead of a drunk in bar who sings you song, tells you he loves you and your not sure how he "really" feels.

Someone who really cares about you will also care about your child and tell you so when they are sober and committed to the relationship.

If he's the NEXT one, give him and yourself more time to develop a solid relationship that includes three people. Is the man you are talking about good father material?

Blessings...

Oh bleck, sounds like a begining of a lifetime of frustration trying to figure out what he 'REALLY MEANT'.

And in the event YOU say it again first, he might be one of thoses 'M. Too" ers. Bleck again.

Find a guy who has no problems telling (and showing) you how he feels about you. Why does it have to be such a mystery!

:)

stop. you must stop.
some people might blurt out their *real* feelings when uninhibited. others could say it J. cuz the moment was right. another could use it to manipulate you. there is no way that a bunch of people who don't know him and weren't there can interpret this for you, since you WERE there and you don't even know.
this sort of attempted 4th party psychoanalyzing never bodes well.
you and all your friends need to stop trying to dig into this guy's head and let his statements speak for themselves. he said it and then he took it back. assume that it is J. exactly that- a slip that he didn't mean and doesn't want to leave hanging out there. stop attaching all this baggage to it.
khairete
S.

Whoa. OK. I'm sure your child wasn't home locked in her room with daggers and bombs hanging over her bed.....

I think he may have been J. testing the waters--to see what your reaction would be.

I would wait till he "repeats"himself (not drinking),if he says it to you again great don't debate it go for it if that is what you want.Don't dwell on the words,nor bring it up if he didn't mean to say it to you then chances are he won't say it again till he does or leaves.

Ok so I don't know if this is serious or being funny?

This reminds M. of high school!

Don't trust ANYTHING someone says during or after a night out drinking. Period. You can't know if he was serious or not.

Besides, if you stay with this guy do you want your memory of the FIRST time he said "I love you" when he was drunk in a bar?

Let it go.

I would say he was feeling really good and when we feel good we love lots of things. I would take it as a great compliment for that moment and not let it change your current relationship. True love, once spoken, changes everything. You guys are 5 mos into a relationship so it's not the "enduring, life long love" he was speaking of when he blurted it out.
I think you are absolutely right in your thinking about it. And it very well be the beginnings to a "keeper". You might want to journal the date for future reference for when you tell your kids "how their daddy met their mother".
It's a cute story but what happens in the bar should stay in the bar.... it's kinda like Vegas rules.

I'm not trying to be mean.....J. honest.....

It's only been 5 months!!! He doesn't know you enough to love you.

He was drinking. People say all kids of stuff when they are drinking, even love.

One or the other in this relationship is insecure...I think it may be you. Stop trying to read into everything he says. J. have fun! Don't smother him and see where things go from there. All this "love" stuff can scare anyone away. Don't forget where your heart really belongs...this ain't highschool...chick!

Well, it has been 5 months... so saying I love you is very appropriate at this point - assuming that he does love you.

I think that you should, in the correct moment, ask him to explain what he said. Ask if he in fact does love you or is feeling it but not yet ready to commit to it (which is ok as long as you're going forward) or if he will ever feel that way.

I J. think that if he does love you - you should get over the hump and say it and move on. It's nice to be loved.

And if he doesn't feel it and may never feel it - then move on.

And I'd probably dwell on it if I were you - that's what females do - analyze everything. If we didn't this board wouldn't exist!! :)

Do you love him? Is he Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

My husband told M. he loved M. for the first time when we were out at a crowded sports bar watching basketball -- I half heard him and he was drinking. He is NOT the kind of guy to use the words lightly. He did NOT say it first again....You aren't over thinking it....J. go with your heart :)

.

Can't he love you as a friend? I don't see anything wrong with that unless you want more. Doesn't sound like you do.

I completely agree with not looking too far into this. Stop fretting over it.

Perfect example... A couple that my hubby and I are friends with stopped by last night and my hubby and I were in the garage for a smoke (don't go there- not the point of the story) and his buddy decided to go out there to grab another beer (we have a fridge out in the garage). Somewhere in the conversation the 3 of us were having, he says (to M.), 'I love you!' My husband and I didn't think anything of that....... When we went back in, I said to his wife (my friend), 'Your husband J. told M. he loves M..' She said, 'Well, hell, I do too!' We don't think like that when it's friendly... YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER!

I've been where you're at right now. It meant on friend terms when it was said to M.. I didn't believe it then.... I KNOW now. If he said that he meant it in a friendly manner... Then he meant it in a FRIENDLY MANNER!

Wow....LOL sounds like your over thinking it.

I think after 5 months he could love you and have let it slip. Saw your reaction and took it back.

I think you J. need to keep on dating him, if you like him and J. let things fall into place. It will come out again, if the time permits.

Do you feel that way too? If so then no harm no foul. If not then maybe let it go and see what happens from here. At the very least you have someone that loves you and is J. waiting for you to be on the same page as him. This is a good thing. Dont fear LOVE - embrace it and feel good that someone feels that way about you
Good Luck

Hi Jen,

I think you need to put all you energy into your 4 year old, who wants to be a "drop out" instead of a drunk in bar who sings you song, tells you he loves you and your not sure how he "really" feels.

Someone who really cares about you will also care about your child and tell you so when they are sober and committed the relationship.

If he's the NEXT one, give him and yourself more time to develop a solid relationship that includes three people. Is the man you are talking about good father material?

Blessings...

Cute. J. give the relationship more time and don't be worry about him being scare that you will not think the same because we (women) can do many things to show we are in the same page without even say it.
The way you will look at M. or touch him, etc. he will know.

Hi Jen
I suppose the question I will ask you is do you love him?
If you do,fabolous,go for it ,enjoy LOL
If you don't maybe you need to have courage and be straight with him and tell him that you are J. dating.
Good luck and enjoy your chance to have fun nights out.
You deserve it !
B. k

J. ask him about it. Say something like you know the other night when you told M. you loved, were J. saying it b/c you were drunk? If he says no that he really believes he loves you, be honest with him and tell him that you care about him but you aren't ready to say that word yet. Honesty is the best policy in this situation.

I would be inclined to think he meant it in a romantic way. Five months is a reasonable time frame in which to "fall in love." During the early days of our dating, my now-husband and I would do silly things like sing songs with "I love you" as part of the lyrics (a Barenaked Ladies song in particular comes to mind, it goes "I love you, you love M., I love you, so let's make a family tree") even before we got comfortable with J. saying it to each other. So I think if you feel the same, you should tell him. And if you don't...well, only you can decide that for sure!

Feeling of love can come in a day or in a year! There is no parameter. He might be saying it in drunken state as a cover. May be he is not ready to take a no from you for an answer.