Did You Drink Alcohol When You Were Pregnant????

Yes I did, I would have a glass of wine here and there in the evenings, or a nice cold beer. Never did I have more than one glass, or one beer though. To drink to the point of feeling "buzzed" or drunk when you KNOW you are pregnant is wrong, and selfish. But I don't think there is anything wrong with relaxing in the bath with a glass of wine.

My OB told me I could have a glass of wine in the evening to help me sleep but I'm not big on wine & didn't totally feel comfortable doing that.
My sons doc told me to have 2 beers a day to help w/ my lack of milk production & my sons lack of weight gain. Well, she didn't have to tell me twice. I gladly drank my beer as prescribed & it worked like a charm.

Back in the olden days (1976) I was pregnant. Had trouble carrying my
babies because I dilated very early. When the contractions would kick
in, my OB said open a bottle of wine and have a glass or two. It did keep
help. All my kids are fine. Now he did not say drink a bottle, just enough
to quiet down my uterus. Certainly in 2011 a doc would probably not say
that but back then, that is the way it was. Would I go out drinking when I
was pregnant; absolutely not. She was being totally irresponsible.

PS When my ob told me to do this it was usually my 7th month or so. All
organs developed, so at that point really not dangeous, like it would be
very early on.

I read the last few posts and all seem to be ok with drinking wine while pregnant. huh? That stuns me. Just like the 6 month pregnant lady drinking wine stuns me. I'm sorry but that's selfish. The thought of ingesting alcohol knowing my unborn child will be drinking it sickens me. Who cares if you aren't doing it to get drunk. Either way it makes no sense. Boggles my minds.

I would be appalled and there is no way I could keep my mouth shut. I can think of nothing more selfish than getting drunk while pregnant. It is your responsibility as a mother, once you are pregnant, to give that baby the best chance. Sure, you may "get lucky" and the baby "turn out fine" - but why risk it? You have the rest of your life to ingest that poison. So selfish and sad. (and I am not against drinking - but I SO AM in this case. Unreal).

I would have been appalled and disgusted. I would have been just as shocked as you were.

Personally, I think drinking while pregnant and breastfeeding is absolutely wrong. Why take the risk? It just isn't worth it. I mean, sure not *that* much alcohol gets through to the fetus, but if you were to take an eyedropper and give some wine or beer to a 4 week old, you'd probably have CPS beating down your door. Why should it be any different when one is pregnant?

I have a friend who smokes regularly while she is pregnant and is still nursing her 2 1/2 year old. Of course, she is also one of those lactivist bf'ers who would read you the riot act if, God forbid, you fed your child formula or had your birth in a hospital. I guess for some it is bend the rules as it fits your life, I suppose.

That's so rediculous I can't even imagine! I would have said someone quite publicly to her, and I wouldn't of cared if it would have "ruined" the bride's day. If I had been the bride I would have been PISSED at this woman for doing this at my wedding. In my opinion the bride deserved what ever "ruin" she might have felt from something being said. I'm glad the bartender cut her off, but if I had been him/her I would have said enough after 1. I can only imagine what kind of mother this woman will be.

Wow! I cannot believe how selfish and reckless people can be! I could not have helped myself and would have said something. What is wrong with people this day in age, so afraid to rock the boat (i'm refering to all of the people there that brushed it off). AND what does this say about the bride? Who would associate with someone of this nature? I feel for you, If you're like me- you're probably ruminating over it and wishing you would have said something. Sorry you had to witness this stupidity

The selfishness of people never ceases to amaze me. I can't even imagine what kind of "mother" the lady will be when the baby is out of her womb. Hopefully, she didn't do terrible damage to the fetus. What an awful act by this woman.

I did not knowingly drink while pregnant. The weekend before I knew I was expecting, we toured a winery though.

I have actually seen a pregnant woman sitting and drinking at a bar (alone, sans teeth, singing to Patsy Cline no less) so nothing surprises me.

NO alcohol consumption while pregnant has been deemed to be safe by any expert on the matter, this I just heard on the news the other day. I really scratch my head at people who think that drinking in moderation -- or at all -- while pregnant is ok. That is just a risk that I didn't take or would ever take. In fact, it really makes me angry!! Really? Mothers just can't completely abstain for 9 months?? I don't get that one iota.

I would have been absolutely shocked to see a drunk pregnant woman and it would have taken all of my essence to refrain from saying something. I commend the bartender for wanting to cut her off and hopefully he did. These mothers who drink, IMO, are not only acting selfishly toward their unborn child but to society as a whole. Whether mothers "used to" drink or smoke back in the day is irrelevant -- we know better TODAY! And who is to say that their children weren't affected in some way that they don't know or understand? That may sound harsh, but that's how I feel. I completely share your outrage, N.!

Can you say, "Fetal Alcohol Syndrome"? You should purchase a paper-back copy of the book "The Broken Cord" by Michael Dorris and anonymously mail it to this stupid lady. But if she's that stupid, she probably doesn't read anything anyway. She will be spending the rest of her life complaining that the Special Education teachers are NOT giving her child the attention he needs and that's why he does things like wipe poop all over the walls of the class bathroom.

I probably would have slapped some sense into her if I were there. I think that kind of behavior is unacceptable and she should really rethink having a baby. Getting pregnant is the first step in MANY to having a child and raising one. If that woman is not ready to give up things like getting drunk and other stuff that benefits herself in order to better and benefit her unborn child, she shouldn't be having a baby.

Of course I drank until I found out I was pregnant, then it was over! I didn't even drink when my husband and I renewed our vows in Amsterdam with his family! But... that is what becoming a parent does to you. You sacrifice things like that in order to have a healthy baby right?

No, maam! I did not drink any alcohol while pregnant. I am not a drinker anyway, but definitely not while pregnant. I shake my head when kids are born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I am a teacher, so I am extra sensative to it. I actually had a third grader in my class that had it. The only drink I will drink about twice a year (LOL) is strawberry daquiri. That's is only because it taste like strawberry cool-aid more than alcohol. I didn't, however drink that for two-three years because not only was I breasfeeding, but I my son and daughter were a year apart.
I have heard that back in the day mommies, like my mother, drunk beer to help produce milk ducts in the breasts for breastfeeding. She was trying to encourage me, but beer is disgusting to me!

no, the most I have done is have a taste of my husband's drink. Maybe a total of 3-4 tastes total over 2 pregnancies- from the time i took the tests onward.

That said, I don't think that an occasional glass of wine is anything to get too stirred up about- I never have really WANTED to drink while pregnant though! The thought of getting tipsy, even now at 7 months pregnant makes me want to run to the bathroom.

What do you say, if you did say anything? You don't know her, and your opinion probably won't mean jack to a drunk pregnant woman... You would just be picking a fight, in a losing battle.

I hope that someone who loves and respects her has told her not to drink so much while she is pregnant. Of course first I hope that she would have the common sense to not drink so much- but obviously not.

Morally I think getting drunk while you are pregnant is wrong.. it is irresponsible and a BAD way to prepare to become a parent. That said, you saying something probably would not have done any good. If she drinks like that in public, I cannot imagine what is going on behind closed doors. All you can do is pray that that baby doesn't fall victim to his/her mother's bad behavior. I don't think it is illegal to drink when you know you are pregnant... so there isn't even much to be done about it that way.

It is really too bad... but i think you did the right thing- for the moment- by biting your tongue. You never know, maybe after the wedding one of her friends or a family member who knew her said something in private- and just didn't make a scene at the wedding about it!

I hope so!
-M.

Yes, I drank a tiny bit (as in sips of my husband's drinks) but NEVER would even come close to getting drunk. And I was pregnant on my 21st birthday!! I did have a glass of wine at my birthday dinner, but a small one; and of course, so many people (my friends) said "That's it! No more for you!" :-) I wasn't going to have any more anyway, so they were half kidding, but I am surprised that no one said anything to her about it. Very sad. Hopefully this isn't something she does every weekend, because she really could do some damage to her baby. Having a glass of wine every once in a while is very, very different from getting drunk. :-(

Thats INSANE. As others have said I can see having a drink, MAYBE two, if you're pretty far along. But to be noticeably intoxicated is just disturbing!
I probably wouldn't have said anything either, but I would've wanted to! But what would it solve. She obviously doesnt care. Was her husband there? As the bride I would've been mortified!

I want a margarita so bad I wanna slap someone! But, no I dont drink while Im pregnant. I did read an article at my doctors office that said it was ok to have 3 drinks a day. Maybe she read the same one and took it real serious......
No one probably said anything because they werent completely sure of the situation. I wouldnt say anything. I would think it was crappy if a pregnant person was drunk, but what can you do? I would probably feel the same way if I was the bartender.

I didn't.
It took me a long time to get pregnant and we ended up needing IVF to achieve it.
There was no way I was going to touch alcohol while I was pregnant.
I even found an alcohol free mouth wash to use for 9 months.

I cut out all alcohol during my pregnancies. Some people believe a little alcohol in moderation is okay and doesn't hurt anything, but I wanted to do more than "proobably not hurt" my growing babies. If there was any chance that alcohol could be damaging and there is zero benefit to the baby to me drinking it, I couldn't see any reason to have any.
The older ladies may say that they drank and their babies were fine, but they don't know whether there were 5 or 10 extra IQ points that their kids would have had if they didn't drink. Different people have different definitions of safe and fine.
While I wouldn't even have or suggest a glass of wine when pregnant, that still is a different story than getting potted. One excessive and prolonged exposure to alcohol actually HAS been linked to FAS. I hope that's not the case for this mom. However, the fact is that she has the right to drink even if it would sicken some of us to see it.

I didn't drink at all while I was prego. I know people say that one glass of white (or is it R.?) wine once in a while is OK during pregnancy, but I don't like wine so I never drank at all. My cousin drank a couple glasses of wine throughout her pregnancy, but she stuck to the guidelines. A glass of wine, or a sample of beer once in a while, I could see. I would be absolutely shocked by a woman who drank herself drunk while she knew she was prego. (I had a friend who got drunk a few times while pregnant, but she didn't know she was at the time... and she freaked out after. Her baby is fine, but not everyone can get so lucky.) To me, it's no different than giving your baby a bottle of booze. It's downright irresponsible and disgusting. When you are pregnant, it is your DUTY to do the best you can to provide a healty environment for the life growing inside you, not party it up for your own selfish gratification. Shame on her! >:(

Never drank while pregnant...or breastfeeding. Some women shouldn't have babies if they are going to be irresponsible like that. Sorry, but that is my opinion. And I'm sticking to it. I'm surprised the bartender served her at all. Don't bartenders have a responsibility to do cut off anyone they feel should not drink or have more drinks? I would have been appalled to see this too. How very sad for her poor baby.

I had 3 tiny sips of champagne when pregnant w my middle child and a few sips of beer with my oldst and youngest, but thats it.

My oldest I was at a Rolling Stones concert and dying of thirst. So I took a sip of hubbys beer.

My middle we were on vacation out in Cali and they had a toast to us and took 3 sips.

My youngest we were on vacation at the beach and were at a pizza parlor and my husbands ice cold glass of beer was sitting there and it sounded oh so good. So I had a sip.

Just being honest :)

But would never drink to get drunk... only had sips

Before I was pregnant with my first (fourteen years ago, now--WOW doesn't seem that long!) my husband and I would enjoy a glass of wine now and then, or some champagne if it was a special occasion. I've had six children over the past thirteen years and I haven't had one drink in the last thirteen years. Because if I wasn't pregnant, I was nursing.

Hubby understands this and doesn't drink either anymore, of his own choice (gotta love that man!).

I would have been terribly, horrible upset but, unfortunately, not shocked. :( I was at a wedding a few years back where one of the guests was VERY pregnant and drinking like there was no tomorrow. 'Funny' thing is, the bartender there was her boyfriend. Yeah.

Good job of the bartender to cut her off!

People shouldn't get drunk in the first place. It's scientifically proven that drinking whilst pregnant is harmful to the fetus and damages the developing brain, causing lower IQs. Alcohol is also proven to damage the decision making part of the brain which doesn't fully develop until you reach 25 (no wonder I know so many teens who drink and make stupid decisions).

I don't really like alcohol and only drink once in a very blue moon when I'm with family. My sister and I have sparkling grape juice in wine glasses together and say that we're "pretending" to be adults. Now that nobody's pregnant, nursing, or underage we have some of the real stuff together. We never get drunk.

Well, before I knew I was pregnant (and I knew at 4 weeks), yes.

Otherwise no. It didn't even appeal to me and normally I enjoy things like a couple of margaritas or martinis when out to dinner. Except for once. I was 2 weeks from my due date, it was summer, and I really missed my Twisted Teas. So I had one. In the privacy of my own home. I figured I had gone that long, anything I did at this point (within reason) was not going to hurt the baby. My cousin did the same thing - she was 2 weeks from her due date and really missed drinking beer and wanted one in the worst way. One of her friends told her just to have 1, it would be fine. So she did.

I could understand her having 1 glass of wine, but actually getting drunk? I doubt I could have just stood by and said nothing but someone who is intoxicated can be irrational and unpredictable. At least the bartender had the sense to cut her off - who knows if he/she could be found liable in a situation like that. Makes you wonder if it was not the only time this mother-to-be has gotten drunk like that, and what kind of parent she will end up being. Seems really selfish if she can't even make the choice to control herself for the sake of her unborn child

I find it disturbing

I did not drink while pregnant, but my SIL and I have talked about it before and she says her dr told her a glass of wine is fine but I think it is after the first trimester. I would feel exactly as you do, however, but I probably would not say anything either since I didn't know her. Aren't some people amazing.

Before I knew I was pregnant... I had a few beers here and there, but never after I found out! I was so worried about having the few here and there before I knew and asked the OB over and over again if everything was ok because of that!

I can't believe the MOH would even serve her!

I think it's shocking too, but I suspect nobody wanted to ruin your friend's wedding day by causing a scene. I would be surprised if nobody took her aside quietly and gave her what for.

It sounds like this lady has a drinking problem. Alcoholism (like any other addiction) is a disease and can only be treated by professionals once the sufferer can admit to him/herself that they actually have a problem! I agree that it's very sad that a poor innocent baby is put at risk by the mother's behaviour, but unfortunately nothing can be done until she asks for help. All we can do is pray for the little one.

I don't think a single glass of wine once or twice in the third trimester will do any harm at all. That being said, I don't see the point in it. Why do so while pregnant? You have the rest of your life to drink, you only spend so much of it pregnant.

I think a pregnant woman drinking like that is disgusting and though I too understand not wanting to make a scene, I'm not sure I could have kept from saying something to her.

Woah. I'm amazed that she felt fine doing that in front of so many people. guess it's safe to say she does it in private. Drinking to the point of drunkenness is extremely harmful. I have a friend who cares for 3 adopted babies with fetal alcohol syndrome. Even today people still do that with all the medical knowledge. I have to say (not that it was your job at such a big place when you don't know her and lots of other people do) but I would have said something to her, even though no one can stop her behind closed doors. And I have a few friends that would have as well. The bartender should not have served her more than one drink. So sorry to hear that happened.
Having one drink per day, or even 2 (I KNOW-my doctor said it!) is supposedly OK with food. Most people err WAY on the safe side and don't drink nearly that much. But if you drink until you're tipsy, the fetus is drunk. As in brain damaged enough to be drunk. A fetus. Who would risk that? How horrible of her. On of the bride's maids should have kept her in check if only to save her from making people sick at the wedding.

This is horrible. I would have been upset, too. =(

When I saw the title of your question I thought it was going to be about what the medical community advocates in terms of occasionally having a glass of wine while pregnant. I sister was told do go ahead and have a small glass once a week or so and that it wouldn't hurt the baby. Getting drunk while pregnant is an entirely different topic. I too would have been appalled. I wonder if no one said anything to her because they didn't want to make a scene and ruin the wedding. If I didn't know the girl I wouldn't have said anything either, but I would certainly have felt distinctly uncomfortable. I hope her baby turns out okay.

No, I didn't.
I would have been upset if anyone got drunk at my wedding. But to think a pregnant bridesmaid would is unbelievable.
I am not anti-alcohol, but we didn't serve alcohol at our reception because so many family members have drinking problems and we did not want to deal with that on our day.

I remember about 20 years ago, going out with girlfriends the night before one's wedding. I was very pregnant and drank virgin strawberry daquiris as they drank their regular ones. I got a lot of "looks" because people could see I was pregnant and "drinking" No one said anything so I didn't defend myself but I still remember the terrible looks I got. I cant believe no one said anything to someone who was obviously getting drunk!!

I think one beer or a small glass of wine is ok.....but to get DRUNK??? That's just stupid.

I think drinking while pregnant is disgusting! Parenthood is amazing and there are so many things to gain from it. However, parenthood is also about sacrifice and giving things up--like alcohol when pregnant. If this person can't give up drinking while pregnant, then she's in for a RUDE awakening--a.k.a parenthood! I would NOT have hesitated in saying something to her. Someone should have spoken up for that baby!

DISGUST

Getting 'drunk' while pregnant is as bad as smoking crack while pregnant. I think the medical community says NO amount is safe because if they said some amounts were safe could you imagine how many more mothers would be drinking while pregnant. There are some (a lot) of women (or teens) that here a glass of wine is safe so they think well one shot of tequilla won't hurt.

I'm personally on the fence about wine and pregnancy. One of my closest friends is French and she had a glass of wine (only %5 alcohol) during a pregnancy a couple times a week. Now that im pregnant she suggested I do so. I asked my doctor and he did one of those "well I can't tell you it's okay" but ultimately he said studies have shown its excess. Mothers who consume a 8oz glass of wine with food havent been known to have FAS.
So, I tried it. I went home made a bath, then had an amazing dinner with a glass of wine. BOY oh BOY did I feel guilty. It wasn't even worth it. I was so paranoid about what I was doing to my daughter that it had the opposite effect of calming me down.

Now, like I said I have several Euro friends who think us Americans are to anal about drinking while pregnant. However, under NO circumstance have they ever been drunk!!!!

If you ask me, this girl is an alcoholic. That is the only thing that will make you drink when you know your not supposed to. She HAD to drink so she did.

DISGUST

Yikes...I would've said something...
Third pregnancy for me...no I don't drink while pregnant, this is my third. Why would you want to risk something happening and you blaming yourself for the rest of your life??? For a drink? Really?

I did not drink.

Now, if this woman was drinking to the point of getting drunk... then well, that ain't a real good thing to see, now is it?
She put herself in the gawking eyes of others.
And it was caught on film.

At least the Bartender spoke up.
He had balls.

Good Lord, no I did not, my heartburn was always SO bad any alcohol and I think my chest would've burst into flames! I did, however, lightly indulge while nursing.

I cannot imagine drinking pubicly while pregnant in this day and age, what a crazy story!

:)

i was turning 21 the first time i was pregnant, about 4 months along. I went to dinner with friends and had a glass of wine for my 21st birthday. Even i felt guilty about that.

Getting drunk while pregnant is extremely irresponsible.

I had a friend that honestly believed that you could drink alcohol while you were pregnant as long as it was 'clear". i was completely shocked as she downed a few shots of rum right in front of me. I told it was dangerous, and horribly incorrect but she refused to listen and ended up having her baby preemie, and leeched of calcium. everyone knew why.

no, something is wrong with her. The most I have done is like 1/2 a wine cooler while nursing a couple times after baby was down for the night, once they were sleeping all the way through. I do know some wine is considered ok, I just haven't personally ever done it, that would have been heartbreaking to see.

The only time I ever drank a drop during any of my pregnancies was when I had preterm labor with my third baby. I was about six months and my OB suggested that I drink a glass of wine to relax my uterus. I had one glass and to be honest, it felt so wrong that I couldn't have any more and I didn't do it again.
I don't know if I could have kept my big mouth shut if I were in your shoes. I'm sure I would have slipped up at some point and said something to her or someone else. That is totally wrong. I don't understand how a woman could do that, knowing the risks. I knew a FAS child, and that disease is terrible- not something I would want my child to get in a million years.

That is soo awful! I would have went right up to her and asked her what she was doing. And then I would have had the bartender to cut her off and not serve her anymore. That is just wrong. A drink is fine, I had a little bit of wine while I was pregnant, but I was around 8 months, and it wasnt a lot. That just saddens me that no one would say anything to her. Obviously she doesnt care about the effects it causes on her baby, and quite frankly it worries me for the saftey of the child if she is already drinking like this. Whats going to happen when the baby is born? So so, sad!

I think it is very risky, but people smoke, drink, do drugs while pregnant. Not everyone is careful.

When I was pregnant with #1 I had 1 beer on my 21st birthday (4 months pregnant) and 1 glass of champagne at my wedding (8 1/2 months :) With #2 and #3 I did not drink at all. I do agree with you though watching a pregnant woman get "drunk" while pregnant is appaling, and sad.

I had a tiny sip of champagne at a cousin's wedding and I had a bacardi at a friend's wedding a week or so before I found out I was prego. I would have been pretty disturbed to see a pregnant woman getting drunk like that.

Fast Forward to this scenario....I just posted this question regarding FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) awhile back....

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/3750635994148372481

During pregnancy #1, I had 1/2 a drink at Thanksgiving and felt guilty for months. My DD was completely fine.

During pregnancies #2 and #3, I had 1/2 a glass of wine at Christmas, but was 8 mos. along. And I have 1/2 a beer to help with my milk coming in.

Ditto to Mamatoto - couldn't have predicted the future any better than her summary.

This women you saw should have had something said to her. Perhaps a little public shame would have been enough of a wake up call. Perhaps not...but you never know until you plant the seed.

I did have an occasional glass of wine or beer while pregnant. Mostly towards the end, since in the beginning I was too queasy to consume almost anything. I had a beer in the evenings quite often while breastfeeding.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a real problem, but it is caused by EXCESSIVE drinking throughout the pregnancy, not by the occasional glass of wine or beer with dinner. The reason the medical community uses the line "there is no amount of alcohol proven safe during pregnancy" is they can't conduct studies on pregnant women where they ask them to consume alcohol, so they can not determine a safe level. There have been studies that have shown that women under 20 almost never have babies with FAS, first babies almost never have FAS no matter the amount of alcohol, and most cases of FAS babies had mothers who drank until they were passed out daily...

As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking and I wasn't a big drinker while trying to get pregnant anyway. I didn't have a drop until I had stopped breastfeeding. Let me tell you my 1st night out drinking I had 2 drinks and it went straight to my head. lol I think the ugliest thing in the world is to see a pregnant woman drinking or smoking. JMHO

Hello, I am probably completely wrong, but I know myself enought to know that I would have said something. She is putting her child in jeopardy. So sad.
K. K

That is irresponsible. Surely, she knew it was wrong and didn't care? I'm surprised no one said anything, too. Even the people who were her friends- it's surprising they didn't approach the bartender before he even had a chance to notice. That's what I would have done if I didn't know her well, or didn't feel comfortable overstepping my boundaries. I would have said something to the bartender -my passive aggressive tendencies would have made him the bad guy! Even her getting drunk one night- the baby is probably fine. Bad decision, but unless it's a pattern for her, her baby will more than likely not have serious damage from one night.....*probably*

With my first, I did not drink a drop and didn't miss it one bit. With my second, I kinda wished I could have a nice cold beer on a hot day, but it was no big deal. With my third, I was, "Maaaaan, I really want a glass of wine" (and I didn't even drink wine, then). With my fourth, who came along 7 years later.......I drank a sip here and there after the first trimester and had half a glass with dinner several times. My daughter came out perfectly healthy and is sooooo incredibly smart. My sister had given me her copy of a book (can't remember the name) that basically tells you not to sweat it. It's written by an OBGYN. SHe says just use your common sense. Eat sushi if it's from a reputable place. Drink a glass of wine now and again if you feel like it, etc. However, I'm SURE getting drunk would have been a No -No!!!

M.R.s response made me LOL! When I was 6 months pregnant I dyed my hair at home (with permission from my ObGyn) and later that week, went to dinner with some friends, and friends of theirs (people we had never met). The other girl was about 8 months pregnant and at dinner, asked if my hair was dyed, then stated that she couldn't wait to dye her hair again after pregnancy, because it was soo dangerous to do that during pregnancy. At this point, I can mention that this chick had been chain smoking the ENTIRE evening, along with her husband. Every chance they got they were lighting up, and they openly said that both of their parents smoked when pregnant and nothing happened - therefore it was fine to smoke. Disgust.

Anyway, I drank some wine with my first pregnancy. 4 ounces was the 'allowable' amount I was told, after the first trimester and drank with dinner (I get to help dilute it?). If you actually measure 4 oz. of wine, it isn't much at all. I felt ok with that, here and there. Followed up with lots of water of course. I love my wine, I miss it (and beer but never drank that) when I'm pregnant.
This pregnancy (I'm 15 weeks) I had a sip of dh's but overall I've been more healthy with everything this pregnancy, so I'm not jumping for the wine. I have been enjoying some O'Douls though.....
In your position, I may have said something to Ms. Drunk Prego. Obviously, I wouldn't have expected it to do anything, but I'd hope to shame her in front of others at the very least. The bartender has no law on his side that I'm aware of that would prevent him from serving her... Only from not serving her after she becomes noticeably drunk. So he may not want to take the risk of getting fired for offending someone.

I would have the occasional glass or two of wine when I was pregnant. Never to the point of intoxication though.

I don't know what I would have done if I had seen that. It's easy to say that I would have said something to her, but I probably wouldn't have. I might have tried to find out who she was there with or even speak to the bride.

Drinking in moderation during pregnancy is allowed by some doctors, but getting drunk does seem like crossing a major line to me. The fact is that no one knows how much alcohol during pregnancy is "too much" so that's why so many people are completely against drinking alcohol at all during pregnancy.

However, on the other hand, the woman is an adult and it's not anyone else's business to tell her how much or little is appropriate and when to cut her off even if it comes from a place of concern. It's sad, and it doesn't seem right, but we can't be morality police when it comes to legal adults. It's not against the law for pregnant women to drink alcohol. It's recommended that they don't drink to excess, but "excess" is up to her and her doctors. And you don't know if this was a one time thing or if she does it all the time. A one time thing very likely won't hurt her or the baby in the long term. A one time thing won't produce a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome. Could it possibly affect a critical stage of growth at a critical moment exactly? Possibly. But that's probably very minute.

As for how I would personally feel? Disgusted but I wouldn't feel it was my place to say anything. I'm sure I would shoot dirty looks and say something to the people I was with and be a complete hypocrite against what I've said here. :-)

But I don't think I'm nearly as shocked as you are because there are many, many women who do things during pregnancy that are far more harmful throughout their entire pregnancy. There are women that drink every day of their pregnancies. Or do hard drugs. Or turn tricks. Or ingest chemicals and do physical things to try to induce an abortion without actually going to a clinic to do it legally. Women smoke. They shoot up. They go down water slides and ride amusement park rides. They eat listeria ridden lunch meats. They eat soft cheeses. Hopefully those babies come through the pregnancies without many problems and a better start at life.

While pregnant I only had one or two small sips of alcohol, but getting drunk is definitely not ok!!! The baby can really have serious problems from her drinking. so sad!!!

I probably would have wanted to call DCFS on her! My great aunt is a 60 year old with a mentality of a 7 year old because of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. My mom's mother was a drunk when she was pregnant with her -- she didn;t drink with her other babies. I have a sister in law who drank a glass of wine a few times a week, her daughter (now 5) has severe delays, motor skill issues, and emotional issues. Did I drink while pregnant or nursing -- NOT A DARN DROP! I am currently almost 35 weeks with Baby #3 in 4 years (others are almost 4 and 2.5). I am apalled that everyone just let it go on!

Here's an article that is pretty interesting and lists the BENEFITS of drinking red wine during pregnancy. I have always heard that one glass of wine a day is fine. I'm not really a big drinker, but I have had the occasional glass of wine while I was pregnant. You have to consume large amounts of alcohol often during pregnancy to harm the baby.

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/drinking-red-wine-while-pr...

I would have felt the same way.

I would be deeply, deeply disturbed by what I was seeing. As my doctor told me, having a glass of wine occaisionally isn't a big deal. That's okay. But binge drinking is what leades to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and from the sounds of it binge drinking was what she was doing.

I have no idea what I would have done in that situation, but I would have been deeply upset. I think if I were in your shoes, I would call my OB or pediatrician for advice. Perhaps there is an agency she can be reported to that will get her the help she needs in dealing with her problem.

I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut. Oh that lady should be thankful I was not there. How SELFISH! How in the hell is wine or beer so important that you risk your unborn child's health? It's just wrong. When the baby comes out is she going to get the baby drunk? No (I'd hope not), so why the hell would she do it when the baby's inside of her. On the real, I couldn't have kept my mouth shut. I probably would have freaked the f*c* out on her the moment I saw her, like seriously!!! I would have looked at the bartender and been like Why the hell did you give her ANY alcohol?! Seems really stupid on his part too... that's a huge liability to him b/c he can see that she is pregnant.

Some people say one glass of wine won't hurt, but at the end of the day if some slight chance that something bad happened, was it worth it? A glass of wine or being drunk and your child comes out with health problems even if you believed the chance was 2%, was it worth it? Even with low percentages it still means SOME poor child will suffer.

I am horrified by this story. The only possible explanation I can think of is that this woman was already a raging alcoholic before she got pregnant and cannot stop herself. Her poor baby will almost certainly have major health issues. Providing it lives. :-(

I'm an opinionated loudmouth so I probably would have said something. Not that it would have done any good if she's an alcoholic. Sad sad sad. Where was her husband???

I never drank period.

When I read the title of your post , I thought you were going to ask if anyone had a glass of wine with dinner at some point in the pregnancy , which my answer would have been yes after the 12 week point and it was probably 2 or 3 times at the most in the whole 9 months with all 3 pregnancies. What your post is about though is shocking and wrong , very irresponsible , but like someone else mentioned before , no-one said anything so as not to spoil the wedding.....that is not good and wedding or not you should not get drunk when you are pregnant

It's likely she knows all the risks involved. So, the real question is - Why was this pregnant woman drinking like that? Was she drinking because she was anxious, panicking, frustrated, depressed, lonely, etc? There is always a deeper reason why people drink out of control. What I would do is to approach someone who knows her... if she was a bridesmaid, the bride knows her of course. If you are a friend of the bride, tell her about what you saw. Right now, the important thing is for the pregnant woman to get some support from people who care and help her baby in the process.

That's terrible. I had maybe 1/2 a glass of wine in the last week of my second pregnancy - but he born at 11 days past his due date and I figured that he was fully cooked and a tiny glass would not hurt him (I had none with #1 or #2).

I would say the following - are you SURE she was pregnant? Maybe she had just had a baby and still had her tummy?

I think I would have said something to the manager... but really, there is little you could have done.

J.

Wow that is just CRAZY! I think I had maybe 1 beer and 1 glass of wine during my entire pregnancy. But, a pregnant lady getting DRUNK? That should be illegal.

there's a difference in having a drink and getting drunk. i NEVER got drunk while pregnant(i don't even like that loopy/buzzed feeling when i'm NOT pregnant). yes, i did drink every once in a while during my pregnancies. well, not the first one - i did everything "right" that time - had the most horrid pregnancy, was in ICU for several days, and was induced at 35 weeks for the health of myself and my child. i did have a half glass of wine or a few sips of a strawberry daquiri in my latter two pregnancies. my first child has high functioning autism, the other two are "normal". i was actually told by my OB and my MFM that a small amount of alcohol(1/4 glass of wine or so) would be helpful in controlling my preterm labor rather than always using brethine. it's all about moderation. i didn't drink everyday or anything like that - maybe a total of 3 or 4 glasses of wine throughout the entire pregnancy. yes, i would be horrified to see a pregnant woman drunk.

Don't worry about it. No one should get drunk, but untill about 25 or 30 years
ago a couple of drinks a day was OK and even thought to prevent
miscarriages. No drinking is fine, but the whole prohibition started on
studies of women who were drunk every day and had problem children.
There is no study now that shows people age getting better. There is more
autism, but certainly no drinking couldn't be the reason.....or is it? who knows?

I don't drink - I guess I got it all out of me in college...it doesn't "do" anything for me and I get "dangerous" according to my husband when I get to drinking - I think the song "tequilla makes her clothes fall off"....

any way - when you are pregnant it doesn't take much to get you drunk as your hormones are in over drive.

When living in Europe - I saw pregnant women drinking red wine while pregnant and saying that their drs recommended a glass or two.

If you were so shocked and disgusted - wedding or no - you could've pulled her aside and talked to her in the hallway...

I drank a glass of wine or two after I was 6 months pregnant. Never to get drunk just for a special occasion or two. i would have been uncomfortable with the situation.

OMG. I would have confronted her and told her that she may drink whatever she likes while not carrying a child, but this child didn't have a choice to drink alcohol-she chose for him/her and her child may have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome because of it!!! What a selfish person~I wouldn't have been quiet about that one...So, what happened after that??? Did anyone say anything? Was everyone so chicken to say anything or afraid of her reaction? I can't believe some people these days....You should have to have a license to have children :) Lol.

M

I think it's horrible that she was drinking all through the party and clearly getting drunk. I believe that at 6 months it's perfectly fine for a mom to have A GLASS of wine or beer with a meal, particularly for a celebration like a wedding. This woman, however, was definitely over-doing it. Someone needs to have a chat with her and if she does this on a regular basis, she should be reported. If the baby doesn't come out with effects of the alcohol, the child will definitely be scarred from having a drunk mother if something is not changed.

Since I'm pregnant with #4, I can tell you my experiences:

#1 - Did not have a drop of alcohol until after he was born - and it was beer to have the milk come in.

#2 - Had literally a sip of wine with Thanksgiving dinner and within 10 minutes couldn't feel my legs - didn't do that again - was 6 months pregnant.

#3 - Had a sip with Christmas dinner and within 5 minutes couldn't feel anything from my neck down - didn't do that again - was 7 months pregnant.

#4 - Had sips from time to time (probably 5 times) from my husband's wine glasses - no reaction - no buzz - from 6 months and I'm 3 weeks from delivering.

Women in Europe drink through their pregnancies....BUT I want to quantify that....they will have ONE glass of wine WITH dinner. Drinking through an entire party and getting drunk is something totally different.

I also don't eat fast food or sugar when I am pregnant or nursing, so everyone's ideas of what is acceptable or healthy is different. I also have totally drug-free homebirths because most, if not all, drugs pass through the placenta and impact the baby. Like I said, it's all perspective.

I drank the first month or so of my last two because I didn't know I was pregnant.

Once I knew, I had an occassional glass of wine.

Are you POSITIVE she was pregnant? I mean, you did, just hear it from someone else. I think I might have spoken to her politely, inquired if she was indeed pregnant and gently let her know that she'd probably had enough already and might want to stop.

I am appalled just reading this and saddened. Because if she was drinking like that at a wedding, than I would bet that won't be the only time she drinks during her pregnancy. I have been told by Dr's that towards the end, a glass of red wine won't hurt the baby....but I drank NO alcohol, it isn't worth that glass of wine if god forbid anything happened to my baby. I can imagine it must've been hard to stay quiet, I would've really had to bite my tongue. I am truly surprised noone said anything to her especially if it was so public and evident that she was intoxicated. I think a glass of wine, or a little champagne for the toast would've been acceptable given what Dr's say...but what you describe is endangering the life and health of that newborn baby!!! I would've been disgusted as well!!