Custody Advice

I have been in a similar situation in the past and the best advice I can give you is to be as patient as possible. With regards to the smoking pot, has your husband reported this to the courts? He may be able to get her to submit to drug testing (he would have to pay for it)for a few months. I'm not sure about emotional neglect being covered by insurance but have you thought about notifying Children and Youth about it? It doesn't cost anything. They have to investigate the situation if a claim is made (from my understanding). Just understand that they will speak with the child if he is in school to find out more information. Do you also keep a journal of the child's condition when he comes over? (for instance: were his clothes clean, had he bathed, etc.) The journal may come in handy in court. Good luck and hang in there. You may not get the result you want right away but even if you and your husband can get more time it seems like that would be better for the child. Just remember with the courts its all about documentation.

I'm surprised that a psychological evaluation wasn't done for everyone involved by now, or has it? You should really demand that this be done. Even if you have a lot of proof in writing to certain incidents, it is he said, she said, but a formal evaluation by a court appointed psychologist could be very helpful. As far as I know, the couples typically share the cost of these evaluations but since you are fighting her for custody, you might have to pay for it on your own. These evaluations are typically done at the office of the psychologist then they also visit both homes. Have you contacted your county child services and do you have records of this?

You might have to move slowly and get primary physical custody first where she can have alternating weekend visitations. I hope you have photos proving everything that she is accused of as well. I'm guessing that the mom wants to keep him because of child support. Its really difficult to have custody taken away from a mom unless she has a criminal record, documented drug or alcohol issues, etc.

It's a tough situation and every ugly for everyone involved, my heart goes out to you.

Hang in there. Email me back if you like!

H.,
Hi, I not sure about your situation. were has the boy been liven that will play a major part?? the court like to keep the children or families together and will not take a child out of a environment that he is used to..say he liven with you than she might get every other weekend.. one day a week that is the normal...if your lawyer is good he will use the family issue to the courts and his other siblings.. all the other advice is great,I'll mix all togeather and see what comes out.. My attorney is awesome its O'Shea from countess Gilbert and Andrews.. you will have to trust your attorney..

I'd probalby just have them take drug tests and use that as an advantage.

Good luck!

Have you tried picking up a book in the library? I read 1 at a time my older sis was terribly neglectfull to her older 2 sons. Good luck to you, I pray you can save this child from his mom.

Good luck! After spending $35,000 of money that I do not have, my ex-husband is still hurting my girls. The emotional stuf he has pulled is unreal. If you take your child to a psychologist, keep in mind that most will not get involved with the courts. They say it interferes with treatment. After my girls' paychologist said it would be in their best interest to not see their Dad, the courts still would not hear their testomony and the psychologist would not testify. They were 11 and 13, begging not to see him and wanting to be heard. A court ordered psychological review can cost $5,000, but will get heard in court. I don't think insurance will cover it. My girls are now 13 and 15 and he just hurt the younger one on his last weekend vist - no marks left to prove it, and I've given up. Children and Youth were notified by their doctor after he put bruses on one of my girls - but they investigated and cleared him. I've NO faith in the legal system.
Best of luck to you and God Bless you all!
C.
I guess I should have made this public. It is the first time I've done this. I've just joined

Did you try contacting Children and Youth Services. I know they are not always the people you would like to deal with but if his mom is neglectful and does drugs you would want to tell them that. You can make an annonmous call and tell them about her. They will go to her house and check her out and they will probably come to your house to see that he would be better off with you. Also you can take him to a therapist and usually that is covered by insurance. My son goes to Family Behavorial in Brentwood and they are great there. Good luck with your battle.

My husband and I went through this (without the pot smoking) about 4 years ago. The court can appoint a licensed psychologist to run a battery of tests and to do evaluations on both parents and all immediate family members (including step-parents and paramours). However, the cost has to be split between the parents. Even if you could get insurance to pay for some sort of insurance (which I don't thin kyou can) - the court will not find it unbiased - that is why they make both parents pay and assign the evaluator for you. Good luck!