Confused on the Verge of Losing It.

Do you have separate bank accounts? If not go get one. If he is drinking he needs money to fund this. Don't let him take money away from you and your kids for his drinking. Flat out if you can I would take his wallet and his keys while he is passed out and make him sober up. But I am more confrontational than most. Isn't there someone with the Rehab place that can help when soemone relapses? I would suggest calling them to see what can be done as well. I really hope you can figure something out. You are a smart women. You are going back to school. Try to take a step back and look at any possiblity.

I am really sorry you are in this situation. But, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. In other words, your life for the next two years while finishing school is going to be exactly as it is now. He isn't going to change. You need to think first about what is best for your four children. Do you want them raised around an alcoholic father? How will that shape who they are as adults? It that something you can live with? Let me tell you that it absolutely changes who they are forever. I know you are in a very difficult financial situation without help from your family. But, I would get a job and start looking for a place to live. You can qualify for daycare assistance when you are low income. Talk to your family, there is a chance they would be willing to help. Think extended family, aunts, grandparents, close family friends. If you had someone willing to let you and the kids stay with you while you worked for a while to get money for your own place that would be very helpful. Good luck. You can move on from your husband and make a better life for your children. It won't be easy but you can do it.

I agree with Renee's post. I don't believe he will change. You can finish school on your own. You can get assistance with daycare if you are low income and you can get student loans and grants. I would also look around for scholarships you might qualify for and apply for everything. You may have to live in tight quarters and have few extras during the time you finish school, but you can do it and it will all be worth it in the end. I don't know what school you are going to, but I do know TWU has on-campus family apartments that are less expensive than off-campus living. You should look into your school to see if they have the same thing. Good Luck.

S.,

I am sorry you are going through this. You all moved back in with his parents and they are letting him be so irresponsible?? they need a big wake up call, too! They have grandchildren they need to protect--if this tact is useless, i would find a place to live and take my children to a safe environment. There are scholarships and grant packages for mothers with children to pursue education. Check with the local colleges and community colleges to see what might be available. You might need to check with 2-1-1 (a community resource hotline, just dial 2-1-1 on your phone) to let you know how to connect with a social worker to help you. good luck!

What rehab did he go to? Alcholism is a family disease- meaning that the family needs recovery as well- it is so hard living with this- and I am so sorry you are going through it. There is a great program in the metroplex that will help your children understand what is going on- and yes- they know something is up, no matter if he doesn't drink around them. Betty Ford 5 Star Kids Program- ###-###-####, they have scholarships available and turn NO away for inability to pay. They also give a lot of support to the parents.

I'm so sorry. Make finishing school a major priority because without it you can't support your children. Go to AA and ask about support for families with alcoholics. Another mom suggested protecting yourself financially and I wholeheartedly agree even though all debt incurred during a marriage is the responsibility of both partners, if you divorce. Would his mom and dad help you out if you were to divorce? Do you have any friends that would help or are you a member of a church who could help you? Is your husband abusive in any way around the children? If not, could you survive 2 more years and then leave or is it just too much? I keep reading the line about your family not helping you and it makes me so mad! They are wrong. Parents should always be there for their children, especially at a time of great need like yours. I'll pray for you because I can't think of any other way to help you. Good luck and God bless you!

What ever you decide please make completing school your priorty. There are many colleges which have family housing and offer discounted day care rates while your attending classes.Usually when you live on family housing while attending college you receive financial aid including grants if you qualify. I know your going through a difficult time, but don't give up. Also you stated your daughter Lily has sensory processing disorder and is in the process of receiving test for autism. The Home and Community Based Service Programs are very helpful. Contact your local MHMR facility and find out more information maybe she can be placed on a waiting list. The HCS Programs offer services such as therapies,respite, supportive home living, counseling and an array of additional services. Although she may be on the waiting list for a while these services will be very helpful in the future. Good luck with everything and remember life is full of struggles so continue to find ways to fulfill your dreams!!!!! And also you can't live life through your families beliefs, it's your life and happiness