There is a girl in our neighborhood who is approx. 10 years old that I am very concerned about. I believe that she moved here last spring, because that is the first that I saw her riding around on her bike. During the summer time she would ride her bike all day long up and down our street and would stop and play at different houses. One night during the summer when we were out in our front yard she played with my two children that are under five. That escalated into her ringing our doorbell sometimes five six times a day wanting to play with the kids. Most times I would send her away but I would sometimes let her play with my kids. on those occasions she would never want to leave and I would let her eat over in the fear that she was not being fed at home. She is a sweet girl and is respectful and listens well. I am so concerned about her as she will wear the same clothes sometimes three days in a row. She has body odor and when she leans her head on our glass storm door will leave a grease mark. She will ride up and down the street until someone will let her in. I have briefly spoken to several neighbors about her and while we all seemed concerned I feel that something needs to be done to help her. I am writing to all of you mamas out there because I have no idea what to do. Do I confront her parents, ask the girl more questions about her family(she is always very vague when I ask her questions about her home life). Any advice would be appreciated. I do not want to make problems but I do not want this girl to slip between the cracks. Thank you so much in advance
I would call CPS and ask them if you should be concerned and see what they would do. They will go and check everything out and make sure that it is alright. If you don't say anything then she could slip through the cracks and then what? I would call them or go talk to a counselor and see what he/she thinks you should do.
Hi Danielle,
If you are concerned, please call CPS. Their phone number is 1-800-252-5400 or https://www.txabusehotline.org. Children's safety and well being is their first priority. Good luck...let us know what happens.
A.
Danielle,
Everyone has "gut" feelings for a reason. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then there is something wrong. No parent willingly lets their child be filthy or hungry. Also, there is a problem with a 10 year old being unsupervised all day long. Would you let your kids ride their bikes ll day unsupervised? Would you let them into neighbor's homes without knowing who the neighbors are? Probably not.
There is something else that concerns me- you sound like a really kind person, but what if she knocks on someone's door who doesn't have good intentions?
Ask her where she goes to school and call the school, see if any teachers have the same feeling.
The parents are responsible for neglect at the very least. I would involve CPS, and keep a close eye on her. Even if it means throwing her clothes in the wash and having her shower.
I really think that you should contact CPS also. It is very clear that this little girl is neglected and it is better to be safe than sorry. I have had to deal with CPS on occasion because of my step sons mom not being the best of mothers and they don't always help with everything but maybe that will open the parents eyes and help in many other ways. Good luck!!!!
By all means, forget being politically correct and contact CPS -- do it anonymously... but do it for the sake of the child. At least there would be a record of what's going on... and what you've noticed. But don't let fear of "getting involved" help you not intervene for the sake of the child. :)
I admire your not wanting to let this child slip through the cracks. However, I really truly believe that calling CPS might be jumping the gun. I have never had any direct dealings with CPS, but I know a lady who is a CPS case worker. Believe it or not most of their calls are false alarms or the result of family discord and one family member calling on another for made up or over exaggerated circumstances.
My suggestion would be to go to the girls home and introduce yourself to her parents. Maybe you could bake a dish and take it as a "Welcome to the Neighborhood" gesture. That would open the door for you to get to know the parents. It could be that the girl is stubborn and refuses to use soap in the bath or wash her hair and she has that favorite outfit. Her parents may have tried everything and are now allowing her to face her peers and receive ridicule from them in hopes she will understand the importance of clealiness. It could be that the parents are young and need the advice of an older, more experienced parent to help them find ways to teach their daughter these things.
Now, if you meet the parents and feel that there is neglect or worse going on, then you must do what is necessary for the child. I would just try to meet the parents first. Also, even if you do call anonymously, EVEN if you do block you phone number when you call, they STILL receive your phone number and with technology these days, you are not anonymous. My friend has told me about cases where they mistakenly call the wrong number back and therefore reveal the anonymous (to the suspected parent) reporters identity. So if you do call, go to a pay phone if you want to truly remain anonymous.
L.
When something happens to a child, there's always that 1 person that says, "I wish I had said something." Be that person. Either talk to her, talk to her parents in a round-about way, or call CPS anonymously. Good luck!
Danielle -
You should go over to her house, meet her parents and see what your gut tells you about her home life. If you still think she's not being taken care of, report it to child protective services. I think you can do this anonymously and the very worse thing that could happen is that CPS determines everything is fine. I think you should trust your insticts.
Call CPS--it is their job to investigate--it's only bad news for the parents if they are doing something wrong.
