Child Custody - Marysville,CA

Updated on September 04, 2010
E.N. asks from Sacramento, CA
9 answers

I have been trying to get full custody of my nine year old son. His father is an alcoholic and he and his girlfriend always try to put stuff in his head and I just don't think my son should be around him. He is not a good father and doesn't pay child support. I have tried to serve him with papers about 5 or 6 times now and they have it documented at the courthouse in my county. He knows that I am trying to serve him and he is hiding from the Sheriffs that go looking for him. What do I do now??? Isn't this the same as if he were served and ignored the paperwork? If it was like that then would the judge give me full custody? I just want this to be over...Ive been trying to serve him for 5 months now...

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

I live in Sacramento, CA and the father lives in Chicago, Illinois. In my county you can not leave the papers at the door or give them to someone over the age of 18. They want the papers to be served in his hand by a Sheriff. And that is what I have been attempting to do at his home address and where he attends college, but nothing...They are super strict in Sacramento,CA, but it is because they do not want for him to say later on that he did not get them or make any type of excuses. Luckily I contacted the local Family Law center and they gave me some forms that will give me custody of my son.- The reason behind why I even came up with filing for custody was because my grandmother was sick and dying in Mexico and he did not want to give me a notarized letter to take my son out of the country. The San Francisco office for passports saw all of my documentation stating that he has lived with me his whole life and they gave me a chance but they said that I MUST get FULL CUSTODY of my son because if his father wanted he could come out here and take him with no questions asked because he is the father. That is why I am doing this. Thank you all for your comments...

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Ditto... either bring the Sherrif with you at dropoff (after all his GIRLFRIEND doesn't have custody).. or hire a PI to do so. They'll follow him right into the bar and out the bathroom window.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

2 moms found this helpful

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I would hire a PI to serve him, it may be well worth your money.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I got a lawyer and what we did was got permission from the judge to put the notice in the paper. The notice that he was to attend the court date reguarding child custody! Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello Erica, Just another thought that needs to be considered by you. With so many police departments being down sized and fewer officers to handle things this could be a problem- for an officer to make several attemps.
I would try going back to the people that gave you the forms and see what alternatives are avalible. I do know that oneof my son's friends paid his way thru college charged a fair price to deliver legal papers to people. So you might want to see if someone going thru the police academy could help you. I do know taht often he'd go with someone else that had their phone ready to take a picture of the person recieving the papers as proof visual that tey were recieved. It would be worth sending a letter tothe editor of the paper where he lives. It will get his attention when you put your name and that you are trying to find a x husband/boyfriend for your son's welfare. I am guessing that you are not recieving any state aid, which is to be admired, otherwise the state would go afterh im for their money.
It is odd that he is as far apart from his son as he is and still have the power to control you and your son's lives like he does. I really hope that you will be able to overcome that in time. I unfortunely know that a parent doesn't have to pay support to still be a father, and get visiting ights.
I wish you well~ what you are doing will not be cheap nor easy but well worth all the effort. Best Wishes.

1 mom found this helpful

G.M.

answers from Modesto on

The should be able to POST the papers on his door since they have not been able to serve him. If he doesnt respond within 10 days after the posting, you should be able to get what you want in court.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Does he pay his child support? If not I would check into the laws in your state. Here it is a fellony to be more than $5,000 behind.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

There are provisions. First, you can go to his job. On the third time there, you can leave the summons and complaint with the person in charge of the office and then follow that up by mailing a copy to him at the place where you left the paperwork. That is call substituted service and it is good, but you have to make three attempts before you can leave the paperwork with the person in charge. The attempts have to be made on a day and time that would be reasonable to find him there such as his normal work hours. You can also do that at his home. Have someone go three times. On the third time, leave the papers with whoever answers the door as long as they are 18 years or older. That is good substituted service. You do have to note the dates/times that you attempted to serve him so keep track. Also there is a provision to serve by publication if you're unable to locate a person to affect personal service. You can prepare a Declaration of Diligence and in it put the person's last known address and any attempts you have made to ascertain their current whereabouts. The judge can then enter an order authorizing service by publication in the Legal Notices setion of a newspaper of general circulation in the area of the individual's last known address. You have to publish the notice I believe it's three times over like six weeks and then the newspaper will send you a document evidencing the publication. You can file that and then service is considered accomplished and the time for him to respond will start running. You know, you say you can't serve him, but does he see your child? If so, how does he get the child? Can't you enlist the help of someone when he picks up the child or you drop off the child to serve him then? It seems that if he's seeing his son, you do have a way to get to him. I don't know what county you're in or how you say they know you've been trying to serve him for five months and no one has bothered to direct you to someone who can help you. Is there a family law facilitator at your county courthouse? They can help. also, any process server should know how to get him served. Service is not that hard. I run a free lance paralegal business. If you're in my area, I would be happy to serve your husband. it's really not a problem. If you want, feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com One last bit of advice is he doesn't have to take the papers in his hand. Some people think that if they don't touch the papers, they're not served. not true. The person can simply drop them at his feet if he refuses to take them, that's good service. also, if there is a closed screen door and they refuse to open the screen door, but have opened the house door, you can put the papers in or on the screen door and walk away. That's also good service.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.V.

answers from San Francisco on

In California, you cannot serve him but anyone over 18 can. When you go to take your son, all the person has to do is give him the documents and then say "you have been served". This can be a friend or relative, and all they have to do is sign the forms saying that they gave them to him and you turn those papers back to the court. If he does not acknowledge it that's his problem and he if doesn't show for court, then you will likely get whatever you are requesting. I wish I did not know so much about this but we serve my stepsons mom frequently. Good luck getting custody of your son.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions