Birthday Party on Sunday - NO Rsvp's Yet

Super annoying. quick question. did you offer an email RSVP option? Txt option? A date for RSVPs to be in?

I have found that these make a difference. While I agree it is so easy to pick up the phone and call in an RSVP, I have done that and then was met with a very grumpy mom who didn't appreciate (??) the time I called (9am) or that I was interrupting what she was doing. I know tacky, but that is why txt and email are so great.

If you did all of this, I am sorry. It is maddening.

You never know WHAT makes it home from school. Some of them may still be in the kids' backpacks or folders, not all parents are good at going through their kids' stuff on a regular basis. And even if the teacher reminded them most of them will have forgotten about it by the time they get home. Also, some parents are just rude, they may have seen it and tossed it without bothering to respond, especially if their child isn't really friends with yours.
What about the kids he's actually good friends with? Can't you at least call/email those parents to make sure they saw the invites? It would be sad if hardly anyone came.

do you have a directory with parent emails?

When I invited the class, I reminded them with an email...then everyone replied to the email.

First of all, people are just lazy and don't RSVP. I've had parties where I was paying $25 per person and had to lock in my # by a specific date.

I call and email the person and say... "hey is ___ coming to the party? I need to know by today at 3pm because I am required to lock in my number for the event. Please let me know either way"

MOST of the time, when you catch them on the phone, they are embarrassed and will let you know either or.

Now, I've never not allowed someone to come to an event that did not RSVP but I have said "Oh, I assumed you were not coming because I had no RSVP" .... then welcome them to the event.

As far as invitations at school.... as a teacher as well, I've seen many invitations in the hallway, etc with no name on them because the kids lose them, compare to see who got one, etc.

Best wishes... I know it is frustrating... it is my least favorite part of planning an event!

You mention that "I know the kids got them cause my son said someone asked if they could come." But that was just one kid. And knowing that the kids got them does not mean that their parents ever saw the invitations-- papers from school often end up squashed in the bottom of a book bag. Even papers sent home in a weekly "folder" that goes between the teacher and the parents tend to get ignored by some parents, or lost, or end up just not there. It's really nice that the teacher reminded the kids for you but honestly she didn't have to do that.

I would not assume that all parents saw this invitation and they're just being rude. I would actually assume that most parents probably never saw it in the first place. Next time I would issue direct invitations to parents' own e-mails or by snail mail to homes. This same question (sending invitations home via school and getting no RSVPs) came up here on Mamapedia probably within the past month.

Do you have a class directory you can use today to reach parents? E-mail list for the class or maybe your "class parent" who organizes class parties etc. has his or her own list for the whole class and you can use that?

I'm surprised how many schools don't have student directories -- ours does, and parents can opt their kids and themselves out of it but otherwise everyone in the school is in it, with home mailing addresses, e-mails and phone numbers. If your school does not do one, think about leading a PTA effort next year to create one. Has to be done each fall but is well worth it to be able to contact classmates' families.

I feel your pain! I think most people think RSVP means you respond only if you're planning to attend. For my son's party, I sent in a reminder note with my contact info and asked for a response as I needed a head count by a certain date. I did get some responses after that. In fact, the only ones who responded were the ones that showed up.

Good luck!

happened to me. we had a mid week dinner party, that's what my kid wanted. only 3 had rsvp'd. so i went to school the day of and ate lunch with my son, and just happened to ask the kids. 2 kids said that their parents thought the date was a typo, I said nope, it's tonight, hope you can make it. they still didn't rsvp, but the two kids did show up.

as for planning, have a regular sized cake and some cookies or cupcakes around as filler if needed. I love to get the cakes that are the cake/cupcake combos for this purpose.

My daughters party was last week - sent out 25 invites. The night before the party 2 people RSVP'd. the rest didn't. So for all that work effort and stress, 2 dang kids show up. It will be the last part I throw for sure!

You should follow up with the parents directly. Just say that you haven't heard yet and that you and your son are really hoping they can attend.

Sadly, I think this is the norm these days. We have only had one big party where we invited the entire class. It was at Pump it Up where I had to pay for a minimum of 25 kids. I had less than half the class even bother to rsvp, and a couple of people who rsvp'd yes and then didn't show and didn't call. Nice, huh? After that, we said never again. Now I do small outings with 2-3 of their best friends.

Very annoying!! I feel for you, my guy's party is Saturday as well and I just want him to have some fun with a few friends, too. Yet only 2 have RSVP'd out of 19 invites, and they are friends not at the school. Some have asked what he likes, a mom apologized yesterday for her daughter not making the party due to cheerleading competition (in preschool) this past Saturday, that she'd really wanted to come, I smiled and said the party is this Saturday and she said "Then I think she can come!" But no firm commitments, even though they have my cell number and email. And our school doesn't get involved in handing out invitations or reminders so I don't have help there.

I've seen this for years and truly don't expect people to RSVP anymore, though. What I always do is go big, I'm making a cake, cupcakes, chocolate suckers and food for an army. Reason being I want to have enough in the event they all show, we can eat leftovers and I can send some home with guests. Truthfully, we always get a crowd without the RSVP's so I'm guessing we're going to have at least 5 of his preschool friends, plus siblings, cousins, neighbors and family friends.

The only mom I know who got almost 100% feedback was the one who stated on the invite "Please RSVP by _______ so your child's place at the party can be reserved, per vendor policy." Only 2 friends didn't contact her, one going through a death in the family and one who was leaving the country on vacation at the time of the party.

Hope your son has a great party!!

HUGE PET PEEVE!!!!!! It's SO utterly rude!

Wow ! It's a different world ! My child is older now. People always RSVP'd 15 years ago...

This is annoying !

We are going through this right now, too. I included a bit about "contacting" me on the invitation. I didn't say "call", so I thought this would imply a text was okay. I also included my email address. Funny how everyone's so obsessed with their phones until they get a kid's party invite, and then they freeze. I thought I'd have more responses than got. We also have no directory, so I couldn't just do an evite to the parents/kids that DD really wanted at her party, and I can't follow up.

What pisses me off is that I'm supposed to be worried about being politically correct and coddling 24 kids that aren't mine, but what about MY kid's feelings? Why is it okay for her to be asked to invite all the classmates, even those she doesn't play with, but then be hurt when none of the crappy parents of her classmates can bear to call, text, email a simple "yes" or "no" or god forbid, drive their kids a couple miles up the road to a 2-3 hour party? These parents have little regard for me or my child, why should I be so worried about offending them? They don't care anyway.

It's all complete and utter b.s. The only people who have said they're coming are either family or kids whose parents I know or neighbor kids. I'm pretty much just planning for a group of 5 or 6 kids at this point, and that's fine with me.

Never again will I invite the whole class and never will I pay per head for a bunch of kids that will never come. Moving forward, I will have her choose her closest friends and call the parents directly to see when their kids are available to celebrate DD's birthday and we'll go do something fun.

Parents really can & do suck & not only do they ruin it for their kids, they ruin it for my kid, as well. It's not that hard to look through a backpack daily. I do it every night and pull it all out. Guess what? We dont' miss things because I take the extra 2 mintues a day.

I really dislike it when people don't RSVP. I have had good luck with evite, but I know it's sometimes hard to get all the email addresses. I hope he has a good party and you are pleasantly surprised at the turnout.