Rsvps to Kids Birthday Party

Updated on July 08, 2010
D.B. asks from Springfield, PA
22 answers

I sent out invitations to my daughters birthday party the last day of school - June 18. The party is July 11. She has a small class- I invited them all - 11 total. I have only received one rsvp saying they would be on vacation. Should I send out reminder emails? I have their email addresses because the teacher sent out weekly class updates. My biggest fear is that no one will show up and then I also need to plan for food. it is at a miniature golf place. if no one shows, i guess it would have to be her brother and sister and me. If I had only gotten some rsvps, I would let it go. this also happened with my other daughters birthday in april. at least then I got about 10 rsvps but was missing about 12 - she had a bigger class. some were planning on coming but "forgot" and others were not able to come. Any suggestions??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you for all the responses....I did not have the phone numbers so I sent a reminder email. My daughter is turning 9. I have heard from all but 2 which is close enough for me. We invited 11, and it looks like we will have either 5 or 7 coming. One thing that I think helps is that two parents were on vacation and with the email they can respond from their cell phone. If I had called and left a message they might not have gotten it until they came back.

Featured Answers



answers from Dallas on

Do you have a directory with the phone numbers? If so, I would call and ask if they can make it. If not then email. It is so frustrating. I had a halloween party last year and invited the entire class...2 came. Funny thing is those moms have become my great friends and I've noticed we are the same ones that show up to all invites. Luckily I had some other good friends and neighbors that came so we had a great party. So, this year for my daughter B-Day I only invited very close friends and the two moms that came to the halloween party. Everyone but two came (one was having her son's first b-day and the other had a sick child....although she failed to let me know she wasn't coming and I found out through face book).

Good luck! Definitely contact them somehow so you can plan everything.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

You should definitely email. I really wish that all kids party invites were emailed instead of sent. If you do Evite they send reminders even-this makes it even easier for the recipient if they forget to respond to the email the first time around.

I am guiilty of the not RSVPing for a party my son was invited to-my son had told the birthday boy that he was coming and I thought that was going to be OK-They are 8 years old after all. (to be perfectly honest I don't know the people and didn't want to have to call and get in a chat with them so I was tabling it for a time I thought they wouldn't be home-I am a wuss-I know) Well, we showed up at the party place only to find out the party had been cancelled b/c nobody RSVPd. This would have been avoided if the invitations were sent via email. As bad as it is in this day and age people are more comfortable with electronic communication.

More Answers



answers from Seattle on

I've had this issue lately, and it seems to me that people have forgotten the common courtesy of responding - either yes or no - to event invitations. I've found that using Evite is helpful because I can see if people have even viewed the Evite (if you used paper invites perhaps they never made it into the hands of parents), and it seems people are more likely to respond when it's as simple as clicking a button rather than calling or emailing. Also, Evite sends a reminder a day or two before the event. I would suggest doing just what you mention - emailing all of the parents a friendly party "reminder" and letting them know that you need an attendee count to plan for food and activities. You could appeal to their sense of guilt by saying something like, "I know these summer months are busy, but I would truly appreciate your prompt response." Good luck and happy celebrating!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I have personally found parents of school mates to be flakier in RSVPing than personal friends. I would email then a reminder, saying that you need to know an accurate count for food, etc. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

Definitely email!! We have switched to email invitations anyway, even though I've always loved regular mail. Mail gets lost so quickly in my home, some of those moms might have lost the RSVP and now feel awful that they haven't gotten back to you. If they don't feel awful, they are at least more likely to reply to an email anyway. You get the mail, try to remember to check your calendar, misplace the invitation, get distracted, and then nothing happens.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I don't understand the inconsiderate nature of some people...ideally they should all RSVP, but in the event they don't, I'd send out a reminder e-mail. I'd appreciate being reminded during these busy summer days and I'm sure they will too. I would also invite a couple of neighbor kids, cousins or other close friends in case some of the classroom kids don't show up. This is such a special day for your daughter and you want to make sure that others will be there to celebrate with her! Have fun!



answers from Pittsburgh on

Email and ask. Honestly, I don't think anyone really understands RSVP anymore!



answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with everyone here EXCEPT I would CALL. I am soooo for electronic anything, b/c it allows the recipient to get back to you at her convenience, but in this case, I think a phone call is better. You get them on the phone, they're put on the spot to give you an rsvp immediately. You leave a voicemail, they at least get the msg later and are reminded they must call or email you an rsvp (leave your phone number and email in your reminder msg).

a phone call serves as a reminder, and you don't risk the chance that your email is never opened. believe it or not, some folks aren't like us, checking their email a hundred times a day! ;>)



answers from Allentown on

I think you should definatley email them. I hate to admit this but my daughters backpack is still sitting on the floor of her room with her report card and other end of year papers. We left for vacation the day after school ended and summer has taken over the desire to clean it out. So there may be a few invitations that haven't reached the parents and may be sitting in a backpack somewhere. Better yet I would call...who knows how many emails sit unanswered as well. Good Luck!



answers from Madison on

Do send an email reminder. Many people don't seem to be very good at RSVP's. I've had to send email reminders in the past for parties that I've had for my daughter. Send a nice reminder. List the party info again and ask for them to please let you know yes or no, as you need to know the number of kids attending.



answers from Colorado Springs on

I would send an email as a reminder. The end of school is such an overwhelming busy time. And, they probably looked at the invite and thought they'd get back to it later. I'd be really casual about it, recognizing the busy-ness of life. Then, just plan for those who RSVPd.


answers from Washington DC on

Send a reminder.
Better to know than not know... or you can call each family and get the real scoop.



answers from Pittsburgh on

How rude. It is unbelievable the total lack of manners that exists in our society. If I had the parent's phone numbers, I would call in the evening and just say that you were wondering if little Johnny was going to be able to celebrate with you on July 11? If you don't have phone numbers, I would just email the same question. And remember that maybe these aren't people you want to invite again next year.

I hope your daughter has a nice birthday!



answers from Anchorage on

since there was a lot of time between when invites went out and the party I would send out reminder emails, simply letting them know the details once again and adding a "please let us know if you can celebrate with us" section. People are more likely to respond yes or no to an email than to pick up the phone and call. I think people should always RSVP, either way, but many in our nation have forgotten all about common courtesy.



answers from Sacramento on

What date did you say to RSVP by? If the date is approaching or has passed, definitely send the reminder email. Let them know you are preparing the final guest count and want to make sure their child is included if he/she plans on attending.

The end of school is a super busy time, so it wouldn't surprise me that the invitation just got lost in the shuffle of all of the end of school year papers and activities.



answers from Harrisburg on

People are rude...but that's the reality we all live with. Just 11 year old made phone calls to the friends who didn't respond to her party invitations. You didn't say how old your daughter is...maybe she wants to make the calls? And Megan is should be calls not e-mails.



answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D.,
I remember those days.
Parents would never respond and I would always be calling. Years later we started doing regrets only for RSVP . Of course I would always be worrying up to the party.
I would e-mail to see who is comming to the party.
Good luck,L.



answers from Pensacola on

I sent invites to my son's school, and got only about three rsvp's saying they could not attend. Only one child showed up from preschool, the rest were friends. He ended up with about 9 kiddos, so it turned out ok.

I really, really like the idea of email, and evites. IT sends out the reminders and you can change your status of not attending to attending.

Go ahead and attempt to contact them again, and if nto don't expect them at all. Good luck.


answers from Dallas on

Manners have gone out the window as far as RSVP's and Thank you notes. I am appalled at how so many people lack this common courtesy. It only takes a small amount of time to be considerate to someone who has invited you to a party and to send a little note saying thank you.

We throw parties, big expensive ones. I always say Please RSVP by (insert date). You have to lock in your number at a lot of places for your party and that can run $10-$25 per person. Before my lock in date, I call and/or email those I have not heard from.

Sometimes people are embarrassed because I call and ask "I need to lock in my number and I just wondered if (insert name) is planning to attend."

You'll have people who RSVP "yes" and not show up and you'll have some just show up.

I hope your daughter has a good party.



answers from Philadelphia on

You gave PLENTY of notice... A reminder e-mail is not unreasonable at all. Maybe you could send an e-vite that asks people to RSVP electronically. Sometimes it's hard to plan a day in advance let alone a few weeks.

If you need an impromptu group of kids you can always join a meet-up group on They have tons of local mommy groups in the area.

Good luck! I hope your daughter gets a good turn out! ;)



answers from Philadelphia on

Send a polite e-mail reminder ASAP, letting parents know that you need to plan for food and need to know numbers. This happened to us at my son's 5th birthday party in March. Invited whole class, nobody RSVP'd by deadline date, so I had to cancel party at Chick-fil-A and go to plan B, only to have a couple of late RSVP's saying they would attend. I had to tell them the party was canceled due to nobody RSVP'ing. I didn't have phone numbers or e-mails; otherwise, I would have contacted the parents. Sadly, not RSVP'ing seems to be something many people do. I heard tons of canceled party stories after my experience. Good luck, and I hope your daughter has a fabulous birthday!


answers from Dallas on

I say send the email, it wouldn't hurt and it's easier for people to respond by email these days then over the phone.

My daughter got a Summer b-day invitation on her last day of school and I was just thinking yesterday, Hey what happened to that invite? I wish there was some way I could have been called or emailed and reminded.

We would have gone, just lost the invite so I don't think it's rude in any way to send out the reminder email, I think that's a great idea.

Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions