Babies and Their Pacifiers

Updated on October 14, 2007
P.D. asks from Beech Grove, IN
22 answers

My question is in regards to babies and pacifiers....my little girl which is only 6 months old of course still uses her pacifier. It soothes her to sleep and soothes her when she's a little on the cranky side. :) I know, this is probably pretty normal. I just want to know if it is a pretty normal thing for them to grow out of needing the pacifier to sleep soon after their 1st birthday. We've got about 6 more months until then, but I just wanted to hear from other parents' and their experiences. Any responses would be great! Thanks.

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J.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hey P.. My oldest daughter, Madilyn, took her pacifier religiously until about 6-8 months old. After that, we told her she could only have it at night/nap time. She had no problems adjusting, and eventually, she didn't want it anymore. It worked out very nicely. Now, my youngest one, Alainey is 5 months, and she takes hers often. I plan on doing the same thing with her, too. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a pacifier...it's nothing to get bent out of shape about as long as it doesn't affect the way the teeth come in. At the same time, I didn't want my daughter to be one of those 5 year olds I see out in public with a pacifier in her mouth!!! Lol.

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S.F.

answers from Louisville on

Wheee! Good luck getting her off the paci! My oldest son was a little over one year when we weaned him off of them. They would all start magically disappearing, and once they were all gone, he didn't seem to miss them that much. My youngest one weaned himself. There was ONE paci that he would take. (And I tried buying different versions of the same brand- he wouldnt' have any of it) But once that one paci was lost (around 4-5 months) that was the end of it for him as well. Kids do things on their own time tables, so if she keeps it a little longer, I don't think it's that much of a big deal. Like one mom said (or quoted) I don't think she'll be heading off to kindergarten with it.

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J.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I stopped using a pacifier with both of my kids at 6 months. I did it because I didn't want them to become attached to an object as a means to soothe themselves. The first few nights when they'd wake up and I had normally put the pacifier in their mouth to get them to go back to sleep, I just laid them down and patted their back or carressed their hair until they fell back asleep. I had seen many of my friends' children have to be "broke" of their pacifiers and it was so h*** o* both the mother and the child. I didn't want to do it that way. I also thought about the initial reason why pacifiers were made. Babies are born with only one natural instinct, to suck. Once their past the initial newborn phase though, I just don't think they should be thinking about where their pacifier is. I wanted my kids to be able to find ways to soothe themselves naturally. You'll notice that moms who allow their children to use pacifiers for the first year to even THREE years of life are using them more for a "plug" because it's the easiest way to get them to stop crying. The first time I saw my friend frantically searching through her diaper bag at a restaurant because her daughter, who was about 17 months at the time started getting cranky, I saw first hand that I'd made the right decision.

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D.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi P. my youngest daughter who just turned 1 last weekend took a binki all the time when she was very little. In fact at about 5 month I though "How am I ever going to get it away from her?" She was so attached and to a specific kind. I had to look all over to find more when she lost them because she wouldn't take any others. Well long story short she just stopped taking it cold turkey. One morning about 6 1/2 or 7 months old she wanted nothing to do with it anymore. I tried to give it to her and she would spit it at me. SO I hope it works the same for you. My other 2 didn't take them at all so I don't have any but the one story.

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S.M.

answers from Fort Wayne on

A friend, who is an occupational therapist, advised me that it is best to wean children off of both pacifiers and bottles by the age of fifteen months. She said that it becomes much more difficult to do after that age. Sounds like you have plenty of time...good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Parkersburg on

Hi P.- congrats on the marraige & lil Bethany! I'm a new mommy, too...so I can understand feeling unsure at times. My baby girl is 17 months next week, and very small for her age. That's it- no diagnosed disorders or anything; she's just really little (5lb 6oz at birth)!

As far as your question, I have been breastfeeding Kaylin and we are very close to weaning, but she still nurses once a day. She uses her 'cork' only when it is naptime or bedtime. I try to make a point to only let her have it while she's in her crib, because I don't want it to become a big issue. To be honest, I'm not really worried about taking it away- I'm confident it won't be too difficult when the time comes (whenever that is...lol).

Please write if you have any concerns...I'd love to connect with other local moms & give any advice I can.

-K.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Very rarely do babies give it up on their own. If you keep its use confined to bed and maybe car seat, you will have a much easier time getting rid of it when you want to. Any time before 18 months is easier than after because they don't have such a memory of using it (same with weaning from breastfeeding, easier before 18 months than after).
Don't worry about it for now, but don't expect her to do it on her own.

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H.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

Well, my son is 2 1/2 and still takes his pacifier. He has a vocabulary unheard of for his age, but he speaks with a lisp, which the dentist agreed is probably due to pacifier use. I have never heard of child stopping the paci on thier own. Once they are old enough to realize it's missing, it's much harder to do away with. We have gotten our son down to only having his paci in his bed, which is great, but we are determined before age 3 to have it completely gone. Hopefully sooner, but it is very hard. If you daughter is not totally dependent on it yet, I would work really h*** o* weaning her before her first birthday. I never even used ours unless he was extremely tired and could not fall asleep when he was little, but he started getting it himself and wanting it all the time and it became an item of security. It also did not help that his babysitters are his grandma's, and you know grandma's can be very soft!! Gotta love them though. Anyway, good luck.

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C.H.

answers from Parkersburg on

My little guy is 13 mths now & we still use the bink. he's weened down to just bed times now... but I figure we've got a few months yet before he really starts to give it up. Little by little we take it away now that he's 1 but we're not overly concerned about it being cut cold turkey. I wouldnt worry about the bink too much right now

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P.B.

answers from Evansville on

There is no such a thing as giving up a comforting, relaxing, soothing pacifier... forget about it. You will have to be the one to take it from her eventually.

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K.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

With my oldest she didn't give me a fit about it....She stopped using hers at nine months on her own will....With my middle he was a little more difficult....He didn't want to stop using his but I didn't give him a chose at a year I took it away....It took him a couple of nights but he got use to not having it....With my baby well he is still young enough to not have to worry about it...I will however take it away if he is still on it at a year...I know it sounds mean but the adjustment will take a few nights and you can tell them your a big boy/girl....I don't think my youngest will be much of a fighter about it...He is already weaning himself off of it now...

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L.P.

answers from Louisville on

P.: They really don't grow out of wanting a pacifier it is something that you have to break them of just like you would a bottle. I have 5 children myself and with each one it was a little different.My oldest daughter I had to hid the pacifier at my parents house, My son he lost his so that ended that and then my two daughters I learned from the other two I just took it away from the. My youngest well he just never liked them so I never had that problem.

You may have a few nights of her crying at bedtime but she is still young and will fall to sleep. If I where you I would start to break her of the bottle (if you use them) and the pacifier now believe me it is alot easier now then once they turn 1 or 2..

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N.R.

answers from Elkhart on

Some babies will give up pacifiers on their own but that is necessarily the norm. I accidently broke my oldest of it when I forgot to give it to him one night after he turned one. He did O.K. that night so we just stopped using it all together. Stop using it in the daytime first, then naptime and then at night. You start when ever you and your baby are comfortable. Find other ways to sooth her, such as your hugs and kisses and love. Really if you want to do this about the time she turns one you do have lots of time to ween her. Good Luck!!

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

haha yeah i wish it was that easy!! some kids will give it up on their own but normally they do that at an early age my daughter is 5 months and stopped the paci and useses her ring and middle fingers to sooth (we call it messing with the bull cuz you will get the horns, old movie) any way if you want her to be done with it at a year you need to wean her only give it to her at nap and bed time then only bed time then be done with it give about 5-7 days for each step AND DON'T GIVE IN!!! when you do that they know they can get you and it only takes one time for them to learn that.... but i wouldn't worry to much as my mother says no ones goes to college with a paci or a bottle.... and my 3 year old still has her but we told her when she turn 4 all the pacis will be gone so we will see how that goes... we have tried before but she went to her thumb and i think that is soooo gross!! any way good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

P.,
My daughter absolutely would not sleep with her pacifier up until her 3rd birthday. When she turned three I finally told her she was too old and she had to quit cold turkey. It took a lot of time for her to get over it - she was not happy! Once they get attached they won't really grow out of them until you force them to, so just keep that in mind and maybe only give it to her when she absolutely needs it.. that's what I would do if I had a baby now!
Good luck - A.

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M.P.

answers from Fort Wayne on

My 10-year old and 1-year old are the only ones of my 5 kids that ever took a paci. My 10-year old gave her's up on her own one day around age 2. She had only taken it at nap or bedtime or when she was sick, so it was pretty easy to get rid of.

My 1-year old was a preemie, but only took her's until she was about 6 months old. She just quit taking it one day.

My preemie is in First Steps and one of the things that I have learned is that they encourage the use of a paci in young babies up to the age of 2. The reason for this is that babies need a certain amount of sucking reflex to help speech development, as well as other things like using a sippy cup, a straw, blowing bubbles, just to name a few. The easiest way to help a baby get the amount of sucking reflex that they need is the pacifier.

Let me also say that there is nothing wrong with using a paci to help your daughter soothe herself. She will learn that she can put that paci in her mouth on her own and go back to sleep. I would just advise you to be careful to use it as just that - a soothing mechanism - for nap, bedtime or when she is sick. This will help minimize her trying to learn to talk with a paci in her mouth. It will also help her to understand those are the only times she can have the paci. This will help you be able to ween her from it a bit at a time.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think it truly depends on the child. I have twin boys who both used a pacifier as babies. One of them just stopped using it all on his own at about 8 months, while the other still cries for it at bedtime at the age of 24 months. It depends on the child and their needs, but if you want her to stop using it and she hasn't on her own, you'll have to step in and take it away. I just have a really hard time taking it away, I feel mean, but you have to do whatever is best for your child. The doctor told me that it won't affect his teeth until he gets his permanent ones, but the longer you let it go, the more the attachment grows.

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L.S.

answers from Evansville on

hey P., I just heard the other day a mom say that she began cutting the very tip off (just a little). If the child asks, then just say that it is wearing out. After another week cut a little more off. then some more and so on. Eventually the child didn't like the way it felt in his mouth and the mom just sail that it was worn out and no good anymore. The child never asked again. This child was 2 years old. I don't know how a 6 month old would do or if they would understand. Good luck though.

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M.F.

answers from Detroit on

I think it just depends on the child. My daughters weren't on the pacy ver long. My first daughter didn't even want one. She spit it out every time. The second only used it for about two weeks.

My cousin has four kids..all of which were on the passy until about three years...the youngest is only two and a half but is still on it. I remember when she was weaning her second kid...it was like trying to take smokes away from a smoker. She was so cranky!

I have read that after about three months they develop an emotional attatchment to the passy. Obviously your baby is passed this mark but it may not be too late to ween her.

Also, I saw a little boy the other day walking around with a passy in his mouth...he looked to be about five or six. To each his own I guess...but if I were you I would try to wean her now before it too late.

Perhaps maybe you can make it a sleepy time thing only. That way it's kept to a minimum and she won't feel like it's been torn away from her.

Good Luck!

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T.S.

answers from Lexington on

My daughter always refused a paci, and since she was breastfed I never really pushed it on her. Once I weaned her though at 14mos, she found one that she played with and has been addicted ever since. She is 18mos now. I figure by 2 we will figure out how to give it up. I was worried about it at first, but it makes her happy and it soothes her, there is no need to take that from her any sooner then I have too.
So to answer your question, I am pretty sure that if they still have it at one, they are going to still want it. If it is a big deal to you to not want her having it, then try limiting it one step at a time until it is gone. Also, if she has something else that makes her feel comfy encourage that more around her one year mark and hopefully that will make the paci transition a bit easier. Good luck
T.

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K.G.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Of course every child is different. My son had little interest in a paci until he was about 9 months old. Then he would mainly use it at bedtime, but on occasion he would have it other times. We let him have it only at bedtime when he was two, and about that time, he started chewing through them pretty regularly. We started telling him that we weren't going to get any new "fiers" as he called them, so when they were worn out, he was done. I think the last one got thrown away at about 2 1/2. A couple times he asked to have one of his sisters at bedtime, but it was really a non-issue. I know we've been lucky that he is an easy-going kid, but that was my experience.

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L.C.

answers from Lexington on

Well my experiences with my own kids as well as observing others make me state that starting a pacifier in the first place will cause you headaches until it's gone. Granted they are a blessing throughout the first months, but you have to step back and ask why. Babies and children seem to function best in my opinion, when they stick to a routine. Another insite might call it force of habit. What this means is that a child that does the same thing every day at the same time will form a routine, and be in need of sticking to that routine in order to function without fuss or muss. When that routine is interrupted, chaos breaks out. Giving the pacifier to a child acts like a security blanket as well as part of their routine. When it comes time that you want to remove that security blanket or disrupt their routine...chaos ensues. The same goes for bottles at bedtime...that soothing bath before jammies etc. So you ask, will the child grow out of needing the pacifier soon after their 1st birthday? I've never seen it happen. It has to be removed by the parent. In my experience, the longer you wait to do so...the worse the chaos. It's the same for removing the bottle, or the t.v. or radio playing to sooth them to sleep. The habits they are allowed to form seem like laws to them that they need to follow or their world crashes down. And I have to say, there's nothing more heartbreaking than a child who thinks their world has ended..lol Good luck with your little one. She sounds adorable!!

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