Attitude Beyond Just Terrible Two's

This is totally normal behavior for a 2 year old. It is a good time to start disciplining him however, so he knows where his boundaries are. Check out www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. This is the program I use to disclipline my kids, and it really works. I highly recommend it! I think the largest part of helping kids through the tantruming, screaming, whining, etc. is firm discipline in a loving way, as well as positive reinforcement when he is being a sweetheart. Hope this helps!

E.

it's just a phase, he will outgrow it. He is just figuring out boundaries ... In the meanwhile, I don't think it's a good idea to label him a " jerk" or little crab... it's one thing that his behavior may be as such, but to refer to him as such I don't think is such a great idea..
best of luck..

wow! the one thing i can say is i know that sometimes you can think your kids are acting like "jerks" however i was shocked that you would actually write that about a 26 month old. i have said to myself or my husband that wow so and so is really driving me nuts and then some but i cant say i have ever called out loud any of my 3 kids jerks. that said...my youngest is 22 months old and acts the same way as my 2 older kids. They are kids thats how they learn and act. i call it the terrible 2's and horrendous 3's because at 3 they really think they can do anything and it will be more difficult to handle but it does get better IF you work on patience and any avoidable negative reactions..your guy for example, if he doesnt like it then he needs to hit the road and as a good mother maybe you need to open the door for him. good luck!

I think it's probably pretty typical 2 yo behavior. But he may well sense that he's competing for your attention with someone else. Try to give him lots of positive attention when it's just the 2 of you. He shouldn't have to always share you.

It sounds like your boyfriend is pretty serious, but I would be careful about letting him and your son develop too strong of a relationship at this point. If you decide to marry this guy, that's the time to let him become a major figure in your son's life. If you're not sure he's going to be around for the long haul, don't risk your son getting attached to him, then having to give him up if you break up.

Well I just went thru this process, so depending on how long the relationship has been, they will need to build there own (BOND), in my situation we dated for 1yr before I let them hang out,but before that he would be mean to him, hit him, my BF could not touch me at all, he would move his hand, if we were sitting on the couch he would just move right in the middle of us. So it took some time, I would have him read to him, they would take the trash out together, my BF bought him a Motorized Car, which he loves, that they take out in the yard and he play's with till it dies, then we had mommy time, and my Bf would just watch, he would not touch me, or interfear, then over more time he would join things we did, no my son is still very clingy, and Im his, but he shares me now, but it was a struggle, but we will soon be Married, and he address him as Dad now. And the more time they spent together the better the relationship with me not around, and with out any dicipline on his part, but ur son has been the man of the house, and now he has this new person invading his space and taking his mom, so yea hes gonna be a lil over protective, and dicipling him for actions for loving his mother and alil selfish, No I dont think so, he needs to understand that ur not chooseing anyone over him. And having respect for your BF must be est, but thru time, and it will build as they bond.

Hope This was Helpful

Wow, I can't believe you said that about your son. He is so little. He is doing what all little boys try to do. He is normal.
I think it would be best to put your son first and then the boyfriend second.
If your son knows that he is #1 to mommy, then he will start acting better.

I wish you and your son lots of happiness.

God bless you both.

like jayleen said very normal for a 2 yr old they will grow out of it but consider you were a singel mom for a while he had you all to his self and he has to get use to sharing mom with another male person..dont put him in time out for the clingyness just give him love of hugs and kisses..and tell him talk mommy love him more than anything in the world..but as for being a little jerk as you discribed time out is the best thing...good luck

Please see YokaReeder.com- she is brilliant on these things.
From me I'd say your son is always going to be your son- guys come and go, as you know since already his dad isn't there. Does your son know he is your priority? A 26 mo old "jerk"? Yikes. Make sure he knows he is your priority and that you ar going to keep him, and I think you'll see less "jerk", what you call jerk behaviour.
And if this guy doesn't understand kids- after all he was one at some time- then you don't need him around your child.
Ah, but that is me- you'll probably do better with Yoka- she is very smart.
best, k

Make sure that your boyfriend is comfortable about the fact that kids won't always be perfect angels and are tough to raise, and require patience. If he doesn't like children or isn't patient, then have him tell you now so you don't waste time on him and can instead find a man who does like kids and may have nephews that he helped raise or kid brothers and knows a thing or two about temper tantrums and how to keep his cool. Make sure you both discuss the extent of discipline -- who will do it, or whether it will be a joint effort, or if he's not ready to be involved, once you have decided that he is a keeper. That way, he won't overstep any boundaries or undermine your authority. Have you shown affection towards your boyfriend in front of your son? If so, this may be why he is jealous and acting up. He is seeing mommy kiss and hug another man and may not understand why, nor why you are now spending less time doing one-on-one activities, so it's important you set time aside for him. He is used to being the "man in the house" and unsure of why he may no longer have 100% of your attention. What I tend to do is once I find a man I like and think we may have a future, I will tell him to come over for dinner one night and have him meet my daughter. He is introduced as a friend who is coming for a dinner party to celebrate her greatness, just in case it doesn't work out so she doesn't become confused (I even buy a cake and the whole nine yards). That way, he can see what he's in for if he is planning to get serious with me, and he can let me know if he'd be cool with that or if we are not right for each other. So far, she met only one of my friends/dates and he wasn't a keeper (she told me flat out she didn't find him nice and he told me he could never deal with living with a child) so she did not have to share me with him, but if I did find a man who did not mind my daughter's antics, then slowly, I would do some activities that involve all 3 of us (it's important to include your son so he doesn't feel left out and starts acting out towards your boyfriend whom he may feel is driving a wedge between you two), and then after some time, we may be able to share some public displays of affection, but I would not do that right away so as to not confuse or upset anyone.

I have to say, first of all, that your "guy" should not be a priority here. You son should be. It sounds like your son is behaving like a typical 2-year-old. Unfortunately there isn't a lot I have to offer about how to deal with him; my 3-year-old has only gotten worse - the terrible twos don't end when they turn 3! I'm just concerned that your "guy" is distracting you from focusing on your child. If he can't handle your toddler then perhaps he's not the right guy for you. I know this is not what you want to hear and I aopologize, I just felt compelled to give my two cents. Best wishes!

Your son sounds quite normal. He's learning that he doesn't always get what he wants and that he does have to share you. Now is the time for you to have consistent boundaries, a consistent routine with your son, and consistent consequences for misbehavior. I recommend reading Love and Logic by Foster and Kline.

Does your son have a routine? Is he getting enough sleep? Do you feed him 3 squares and 2 snacks so that he doesn't become hungry and whiny so often. Are you able to give him lots of positive attention. Sometimes when a man enters our life we get more relaxed about the things that help our toddler feel secure. We're not hungry and so we forget that it's past mealtime for baby. Our routines naturally change when someone else is around but it's important to keep a routine for your son.

I wouldn't focus on trying to break his little crab/possessive streak. Instead I'd focus on finding ways to meet his needs. Sounds like he needs reassurance that he is still # 1 to you. He may need more attention from you. And if he's there when your guy is there he still needs personal attention from you. Be sure that he's not hungry, has had his nap, and is entertained. If you spend most of your time with him before you'll need to find ways to transition him into a different routine. Sympathize with him when you know he's upset because his routine has changed. If he wants to be held, hold him. He's needing reassurance now.

As to helping your guy understand, I suggest both of you read up on child development and ways to manage a 2 year old. If reading isn't your thing check out DVDs or CDs from the library. If the library doesn't have any, check around with local hospitals, Child Development centers or clinics for the possibility of a DVD or CD.

Expect your guy to accept that your baby is your primary focus. That is a boundary that is non-negotiable. Include him in your toddler's routine. The two of you talk about ways in which you can pay attention to him as well as your son. If possible arrange for child care so that you and your guy can have time alone together. But do not expect or allow your guy to become a father figure or be involved in discipline. He's new and at this point still to be considered temporary. His being overly involved will cause some of the issues that you describe.

Keep life as close to what it's been before now for your son. Make changes to his routine gradually. Focus on what he needs instead of on his misbehavior. Be sure that he's not hungry when he becomes whiny. And allow him to cling when he's feeling tired and/or insecure.

Totally normal, my son is 4 and goes through it on an off and I am married and have a very stable environment. Give him what he seems to need and it will make your relationship with him stronger and the phase will pass quicker. Tell your guy to hold on and wait it out. Be firm about rules, but try to bend on ones like laying with him before bed, etc. He just needs to get closer before he emotionally takes a step away.

Your son Is NORMAL. This is normal two year old boy behavior. Be patient, be loving, and know that this will pass. When he gets clingy, give him love. As he grows and is secure in that love, he will be less clingy. (My now 5 year old now goes the opposite way unless tired, hungry or sick because she knows I am there). As for your guy, as long as he is ok with your son being #1 great, if not, it's time for him to go.

It is not at all odd for children to go through clingy stages. Sounds like what your son is going through. Disciplining him isn't going to help. You just need to be there for him and he will get through this stage and move onto another. But don't be surprised when it pops back up in a year or two.

Your BF just needs to understand that children go through different stages. Some are wonderful and some suck big time. That is life with a child. And if he can't handle it better you find out now than later.