Are You Not Supposed to Talk to Children at the Playground?

I always make a point of speaking to the adults present. It makes them feel more comfortable with my presence. If one of their children talk to me then they are right there and I include them in the conversation. If I saw an adult I didn't know talking to my little ones I would be cautious too. Strangers can sneak away with kids and you won't even see them do it, they are experts at befriending them and gaining their confidence.

Just be more open and include the adults in the conversation. As you spend more time with them they will begin to feel more comfortable with you.

I don't think it's that they are worried about you. I think they're scolding their child for bothering someone they don't know. They shouldn't assume it bothers you, I think most parents could relax about that kind of stuff as long as their child isn't following you around the whole playground.

Of course you should talk to the adults, kids, toddlers at your local park. How else do you get to know your neighbors? How else is a sense of community established then when you engage with the people around you?? I'm glad you talk to the other folks there. It's only when you know who the regulars are that you become aware of 'odd' people who show up.

Keep it up!!

I don't see a problem with it at all. It actually makes me soooooo upset when at the park or even walking down the street and my child says hello and gets no response. Its not like you held the hand of the other child or invited him/her to another part of the playground.. There is nothing wrong with our children being sociable at the park as long as they are in our sight. My suggestion is if a parent gives you the evil eye for being kind to their child, just let it be and dont stop being kind. For whatever reason they want to act that way and it has nothing to do with you.

At our local parks and playgrounds, my child and I will interact with other families on occasion, but not everyone is open to spontaneous play dates. We've had some very good experiences, and some cold shoulders, too. I think people are definitely more cautious these days then when I was a kid. I enjoy meeting people, and seeing old friends there. At the same time, I am very cautious of certain people (adults with no children who try to talk to my child - once a guy approached my son to talk to him, and I felt like I needed to intervene and he immediately said he wasn't doing anything, which was even more shady..., that kind of thing). But it doesn't sound like you are talking about those dubious types at all. I think it is wonderful when you can make a good connection at the park, but it won't always happen. You are not doing anything wrong by talking to other families, but understand that there are some people that prefer to keep to themselves. Shame, really.

Yup, that's what's happening. Too bad that some kids are being taught that there is NOBODY in the world safe to talk to. What are they going to do if they need adult help when their parents aren't around someday.

But if it seems appropriate, you might introduce yourself to the parents. If they seem nervous, bring up the subject. Wonder aloud how parents are supposed to find a balance between too much trust and too much suspicion. I've had a couple of interesting conversations this way.

I have always encouraged my children to talk to adults and often take the time to talk to children. I *WANT* my kids to be able to interact outside of their age group. I see too many people only being friends with people a few years around their ages and think you miss out on too much that way.

People talk to strangers all the time. I talk to someone at the cash register, or at the store, the gas station ... There are many people I say thanks to or ask a question to all the time. To me the key is teaching your child that it's okay to NOT talk to someone you feel nervous about. You don't have to listen to every adult. I want my kids to feel and then trust their instincts when it comes to strangers. (p.s. I don't leave them unattended or anything like that)

Please continue to talk and show friendliness. If the parents are looking unconfortable, I agree to talk to them a bit too.

People are weird. I don't really get it. I always talk to children that speak to me or my children. The only time that I get people who are getting upset is when they are not paying attention to their kids. I think it's some sort of guilt.
Next time, (and I speak from experience), try addressing yourself to the parent first. Smile, be friendly, and if they don't reciprocate then move on with your day.

<laughing> Oh the fine line we walk!!!

So I'm one of those "playing on the playground" / "mistaken for the nanny" mums. As apt to be in the middle of a game of tag as not. I talk to OPKs all the time. And YET... I don't want kiddo "pestering" other people, even when I know they have kids at the park. So as long as I can see him, I'm okay with it... for about 30 seconds... then I call him away. Sometimes I DO get mad, if I've told him for the 1000th time today kind of thing... but I'm irritated with him, not with the other parent. I'm more lax if it's a parent on the playground (as opposed to on benches)... but a lot of parents take their kids to the park for a chance to breathe/think. I'm not one of them (the park = accidental suicide watch for me, because kiddo would walk the balance beam of the swingset high bar given my nose in a book for even 2 minutes), but there ARE parents who can relax and keep on eye on their kids... and I don't want him disturbing their quiet time.

When other parents pull their kids away MOST of the time it's prefaced by an "I'm sorry"... which tells me they're doing the same thing (of course all of us have our 10% mamabear-protecting thing going no matter how innocuous the situation)... so I always laugh say it's no worries, and give them a synopsis of the conversation we were just having "Oh! Susie was just telling me about butterflies/ her dog/ why boys have cooties" or "Johnny was just telling me about _______ / ________/ why girls have cooties". etc. I've found that MOST of the time, as soon as the parent knows what was being talked about, they relax.

I think with the danger of more and more children now days getting scooped up from the safety of their parents grasp by pedophiles and strange no good doers...it makes it hard for parents to trust or even allow other people to be near their children. Even myself, I have a child who just turned 7 and I'm DEATHLY afraid to allow him to walk 5 blocks to his school by himself...in our neighborhood, which has been known to be safe. Something you could try, is what I do, associate with the parent. Try to meet them. Sometimes that puts them at ease. Getting to know you is a great way to meet others and also instilling a little bit of well known comfort. :D

I am not sure about this one--my 3 1/2 year old loves people and usually runs up to the other kids before I can get there with my younger boy. I usually call after him not to bother them if they do not want to play (not all kids want to play with a "baby) and then head straight for the other parent/s. There are rarely other families at our playground, and usually I just make a quick "apology" along the lines of "He's very social--I'm sorry. He thinks everyone wants to play with him. Let me know if he causes any problems," or "We're trying to teach him to wait and talk after being introduced," and then usually we end up in a conversation while the kids play pretty happily. Half the time the other parent helps him (because she's helping her bigger kids) down the fireman's pole while I'm watching my 20 month old bolting for the parking lot. I guess my approach is more of a disclaimer indicating I'm not a lunatic, my kids are friendly, I'm on top of them if they do anything socially innappropriate (like climbing up the slide when someone is going down, running in front of the swings, etc.). When he was younger, my son went right up to a grandfather alone at the park with his grandkids, held his arms up, and fully expected the gentleman to pick him up. It was very awkward--he was very considerate and very gently checked my comfort level then sat on a bench while my son chatted away at him. I do not like it when I feel disconnected from the other parents in a way where I do not know who is watching the other kids or who is going to correct them if they are misbehaving. "Stranger danger" is so difficult to communicate to younger kids... :( But I would never want to crush my son's friendly side, either. (I've also been the only parent at the park with random school-age kids in need of a band-aid. Group-mom habits are hard to override.)

If I am at the playground with my children and another child speaks to us, I will answer. Not sure why those parents were upset other than 'stranger danger' or they were trying to leave. ;)

I never thought about it until I noticed my husband drawing boundaries on helping a little girl out one time. I think it all falls in the realm of appropriateness. Converse with the parent first maybe.

For sure be respectful of the different boundaries people may have and perceptions people may have.

I think it's important to talk with others, adults and kids, on the playground. This is how we get to know people so that we can be comfortable with them. If you're frequently on the same playground, notice other parents who are also often there and make a point of talking with them. This will cut down on the number of cold stares.

Yes, I've also noticed that some parents worry that there child is bothering me. That irritates me more than the child who does end up over staying their welcome while talking with me. I've learned ways to redirect the child who stays too long. But I've yet to have a parent relax when I say that's OK. I enjoy talking with your child. It's as if there is some unspoken code that says the child's parent has to protect everyone from their child.

I believe that if the parent doesn't want to talk with my child, they'll redirect the child away. One way that I do that is to suggest that they go swing or that they find my child or another child that I've with whom I've noticed them playing. If that doesn't work, I look at the other parent and suggest the child go find mommy. If the other parent is watching they pick up on the cue and come get their child or the child does as I ask. It all works out.

I've made some good "playground" friends of parents by being friendly myself. I like the inter action. I pick up on the cues of the silent parent who wants to be alone. It's all about social interaction.

I've not had anyone give me mad looks. Sometimes questioning looks, like is this OK? I would feel sad that a parent would just look mad or anxious or ? and not just come over and talk with me. This would make me sad. Community is so important and they're not allowing it to happen. I'm disappointed and sad when parents apologize for their child talking with me. They're giving both me and their child a negative message; that their child is a bother. I think this affects the child so that they will feel like a bother instead of the precious and interesting child that they are. And the message to me is that they judge me to be bothered. It doesn't matter how I actually feel. So both of us, their child and I, are unimportant.

Perhaps this happens to you because you're not there very often or the neighborhood is not as safe as some? Or they are passing judgment on you as not wanting to be bothered. My solution of something to try is to talk with them. If they're calling from across the way, go over and let them get to know you.

Seems to me that if the parents were upset than they should have approached you. They could ask you to refrain from talking or they could start a conversation with you.

When a child I do not know comes to me in a public setting like that and starts to talk to me I usually just ask them "are you supposed to be talking to strangers?"

Hmmm..haven't really had this problem but then again maybe its because I look young. I got ID'd to go into a casino for 18 and older a couple weekends ago and I am way older than 18.

I don't have a problem with a parent talking to my child if I know the parent is there with another child. However if it was just someone random off the street, I might be leery. That being said, my children are afraid of strangers in general so its highly unlikely they would talk to anyone they don't know adult-wise. My dad takes my girls to the playground and he tells me he gets that feeling sometimes. Last summer we were camping and he would take my kids and my sisters kids to the park. He would get so involved in playing with them and the kids would have so much fun suddenly other kids would want to play too with no parent around. He told me how he was worried a parent would come and think it was creepy. But my dad is just a great grandpa who loves spending time with his grandchildren.

All that being said, I wouldn't necessarily blame a parent for being leery. I mean now a days you just don't know. I think its better they are paying attention to their child then not at all.