Are All Boys like This??!!

I have a 19month old boy and he's doing exactly the same thing. Its not so much a boy thing...its the age. He's a very determined little boy. He's stubborn and doesn't like help(gets that from his momma).
When he decides to throw a fit I walk away from him and ignore him, he'll eventually come to me wanting some love and in his own way appologize for behaving that way. He's a smart kid and communicates well so thats a plus for us. My son has a horrible time sitting still and listening. We can't even get through a whole 10 page book before he's up and going again..argh.

Hi J.,
The first piece of advice i'm gonna give you is....
1) pick your battles
2) if you don't want him in something bottom line either you tell him "no" or let him get into it.
3) if he wants to through a fit let him and walk off.

I have a 15 y/o and he is throwing a fit right now because he is doing the dishes for the 3rd time time today, whah, whah, whah,lol! Life is a BIG FAT B for him. Why am I telling you this you say and I say because if you try to cater to him now it will only be worse as he gets older. They never do stop the crying, whining, and throwing their arms in the air but then they add words to it such as why don't you just stop talking about me, or the one I heard 5 minutes ago was he knows he is right and thats all that matters right. Like his dad are totally stupid and have no brains in our head. The one thing I'm gonna tell you and everybody else and it starts right now be consistent and back each other up even at this age. Take it from someone who knows the back lashes of not doing it. Agree on what you are going to do if he touches the t.v. or gets into something that he is not to be into. If you both have the same reaction and the same discipline it will help alot. You can agree to disagree but do it behind closed doors where and when your son can't hear you, come to an agreement and understanding and move on. I hope this helps W.

Go to babywhisperer.com for tons of advice from other moms with the same problem, and check out Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. It really helps.

Hi,

I have been through 3 boys and can say they are busy, busy, busy! Boys think of things girls do not. They think of things their mom would never dream of! And, 18 months seems to be one of the busiest ages. I think it's because they are so much more mobile than they have been and their little brains are going into overdrive. If YOU can keep him busy and on the move from one thing to the next - directed by you - it seems to make it easier for you...as opposed to reacting to his moves. My guys enjoyed daily outings, which helped their playtime to be more focused, and it also helped with naps. I would also encourage very deliberate nap times. Keep him on a regular nap schedule even if it means saying no to a few things yourself...unless you can get a sitter. The naps help him in so many ways and they help you to recharge your batteries and be ready for the chase again! I can't begin to tell you all the things my 3 munchkins did at 18 months, but I can encourage you by saying...be thankful he's healthy and growing and learning! The other thing that I loved and so did my children...mother's morning out! One morning a week and sometimes two mornings a week! I loved the free time to re-energize and they loved socializing and playing/learning somewhere different. How many times are you really going to get out the paints and let him go? Me? Hardly ever! 18 months is a fun age, but it's a busy age! Oh, and the temper tantrums? Just step over him and keep doing your own thing. He'll quickly get the picture that his silly behavior does not reward him with anything. That is, unless you want to be 'reasoning' with a spoiled, temper tantrum throwing kid in stores,in front of guests, wherever he feels the need to manipulate you for the rest of your life. It is inappropriate behavior and needs to addressed as such. And, at 18 months...just ignore it. Enjoy!

Our son is also 18 months old. I think toddlers get frustrated easily when they can't express what they want. We use sign language to help him communicate. I have read this also increases their vocabulary and I believe it. He's a talker. But before he could talk, the signs helped & they still do. Some words sound alike, but when he says it with the sign, we know what he wants. Also, when he starts to get upset about something, I sit him down & ask him what's wrong or say what I think is wrong. Usually he's just too impatient to wait for whatever is coming (milk, cereal etc). If I ask him, he thinks about what sign to do & it distracts him long enough to get the milk or cereal etc. Depending on what he's doing, it's usually food, drink or a toy. Little Einstein's My First Signs is a good video & there are several books that are very helpful. I have noticed not all books/videos show the exact same sign for each word & he doesn't have to get it exact. As long as you know what he wants, it will help. I'm sure he'll even start to make up his own signs. Be sure to use the sign when you talk with him & it will help him learn. You'll be amazed at how fast they catch on. I suggest starting with something he likes... cereal. He'll learn to use the sign faster when he figures out he gets the cereal when he makes the sign. Good luck!

I don't think it is just a boy thing. My now 3 1/2 year old was easier (after the first year) than my almost 2 year old, and they are both boys. My youngest has always been more active and he has been slower to talk. He really is a handful. I just try to enjoy his energy and remind myself that it will pass.
Someday he won't fall to the floor screaming because he can't go play in the rain. Or whine at just about everything because nothing ever seems to go his way.
One thing about boys is that they do seem to move more than girls. Both of my boys love to be on the move. Things like coloring don't last for long. Also, when they are playing with other kids they want to be running, jumping or throwing. I know girls enjoy this, too. Boys just really DO bounce off the walls when they play.
I think you just have a hardheaded little ball of energy on your hands. You can just try to read his fits and decide when to comfort and when to put your foot down. He is really still a baby and I hope you choose to comfort more than not. At 2 years of age is when you can better start to do time outs and such, and expect lessons to start to stick. Until then, you might just have to adapt the best you can.
How baby proof is your house? The more it is the more you can relax and not say "no" (I also try not to over use that word). Good luck. You can make through this.

I understand what your going through I'm going through it still and my son is 7.My sister-in-law is going through it with her 4 year old and 2 one year old girls.The thing I can tell you is consistency sometimes I feel nothing works but in long run it really is.Kids will try you has much as they can to see how far they can push you.You may have one child that don't push you and another that does,but don't give in and keep doing what your doing they will eventually learn.This may not help much but don't give up your not the only one going through this,I am at my wits in all the time lol.Good luck

I'm afraid to tell you that I think all boys are like this! I have two ages 4 and 1 years old and my oldest is a very bright, independant and strong-willed child, but he is/was the worst. Boys are very busy and curious so they will get into things and often ignore "no" because that's just how they are wired I think. Try to be consistent because I think it will payoff down the road, but it won't be easy!

Someone already mentioned sign language and I just wanted to say it really saved our lives and sanity. He's a little old but not too late.

And to answer THE question, it's not boys, it's not girls, it's 18 month olds!! They are frustrated because their intelligence is more advance than their language skills. Just know that....This too shall pass. Good Luck.

Lots of good advice here already. I have 3 boys ages 4, 2 and 4 months. I have to say that the 18 months to 2 1/2 is my least favorite stage. Full of whining and they know what they want but can't always communicate it. We also try not to do a lot of the NO but we will use the more positive "hands off". We had to child proof the heck out of our house and there is still so much to get into. I think you are on the right track with the positive re-enforcement when he works it out himself. If you think he can do it on his own I would just keep saying 'you can do it' and 'that a boy' 'keep trying'. One thing I personally do not say is 'good boy'. I will say good job, good try, good listening, good cooperating or whatever but I believe that they are good boys just because. They don't have to do anything for me to think they are good. I feel that if I tell them good boy for cleaning up when I ask them to then they must be bad boys if they don't do it and that is just not the case. They make bad choices but they are not bad. Anyway, just my 2 cents.

I do think this busy stuff is mostly boy related though I do hear about girls like this too but most of the time it is the boys.

Good luck and hang in there.

A.