Anyone Ever Change Their Life Around?

Updated on June 22, 2010
S.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
9 answers

What did you do and how did you do it? I've been going through a phase where I'm just sick of being where I'm at and I need to make some big changes in life (mostly focused around myself -- physical, spiritual and emotional). I'm wondering how to go about it so that its not overwhelming and I'm curious as to how you did it. Please share! :)

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I read something one day that said (not in these exact words) "if you keep going down the same path and it is not taking you anywhere, you have to step back and take a completely different path." I always remember that when things aren't going as planned.

Good luck to you. I believe you can change if you really want to!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think I have. Here are some thoughts:
1. Change your attitude. Think positively and positive things will come to you. Remain an optimist even in the face of adversity.
2. Write down your goals. I feel that the act of writing down goals gives them (and you!) power to achieve them and it helps you to stay focused.
3. Start small. Remember--the best way to eat an elephant is O. bite at a time!
Best of luck to you!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

This question comes up all the time in sessions. First, might I suggest making a list of all the things that you enjoy in life. I would also say to thinking generally in terms of 5 years or 10 years from now, where would you like to be in life (what would you be doing for meaning and purpose? Where living? Who would be in/out of your life?....these kinds of things). My goal here is not to make a list of perhaps unrealistic things but rather to focus on what I want.

For some, a "better" job is mentioned, or more time with family, friends, more alone time, a hobby, and so forth. Then, list out steps it would take to make it happen. If it is to sign up for a class, some of the steps might be to research when/where, ask around, register, come up with (possible) fee, etc. Outline all the steps and start checking them off as you accomplish each one. If money needs to be saved, and you think it might take a month, then break down how much you will put towards the fee each week and check off each portion you put aside.

What tends to happen here is we feel success. When we break down goals into something you can more easily / readily manage, we are more likely to secure that success. Even one little bit of it at a time builds momentum and excitement towards reaching that goal. Please do not overwhelm yourself with trying to tackle everything at once. Good luck! S. A. K., MFT

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chino-CA/S.-A-K.-Marriage-a...

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I think taking that first step is the hardest part. Maybe you are putting too much on your plate all at once. Break it all down, make a list and prioritize it. Find the step that is the easiest first step to take. Hopefully, having one or two small successes will help motivate you to take on the bigger stuff.

So start with losing five pounds. Maybe you don't go on some major diet, just start walking after dinner. In a few weeks, your down five pounds and feeling better. Find something a little bigger and go for it. And so on and so on...

I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to "fix" what isn't right all at once and we only get satisfaction from the major changes. Small fixes can be good, too. They can lead to the bigger ones!

Good luck with this new journey - keep us posted!

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

After being stuck in a rut, depression and so on at some point I said enough it enough to myself and made a list of what I would like to change.

-- Living my life more like a Christian (Spiritual)
-------I do go to church once a week already but still felt disconnected, So I:
------------Go to Bible study Sunday morning
------------We have a women's/mother's Bible study that I LOVE (kids are watched while the women are in a different room to have a Bible Study)
------------Through studing God's Word have changed the way I deal with
situations.
------------Help out at church with whatever I can do
------------Take part in various activites they have

-- Physically I needed to over all tone my muscles (and lose just a few pounds) as well as eat healthier.
------------This one is still hard for me, but I try my best to workout everyday
for an hour or at the very least 30 mins.
------------Made switches in what I ate: I have gone back and forth to do
Weight Watchers but for now I am trying to do it myself. I have started with simple changes of not keeping junk food around, and once a week can have that yummy candy bar of dessert. I also try to buy only food from the outside part of the grocery store or healthy snack options. That is where I am at this point.

-- Emotional
------------ I did go to counseling for a few months which was a good starting place for me to have a third party help talk me through some issues.
------------I try to set aside 30 mins a day for just me; sometimes I take a
bath, read, paint or whatever you enjoy doing. This helps calm.
------------At one piont I did need medication to help get over the depression hill... I was on the medication for half an year (maybe more, it was awhile ago)
-------------With the Bible studies I have gone to it has really helped with\
emotional too because it keeps my eyes focused on God and that helps put things in order of what really is important

Hope this helps... writing everything down and then making a list of how I can get to a better state of mind really helps me. It is an on going process, I have rewritten my goals many times to update or I figure out that my goals are not focused in the correct place and refocuse them.

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C.P.

answers from Phoenix on

change your activities and the people around you. i had to cut out a lot of people in my life that basically did me no good. then i found different things to do with my time.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Sit down and figure out exactly what is bothering you about your situation then come up with a plan to make it different! Make sure your plan is realistic and doesn't involve major changes for others, unless they are on board!

I didn't make a life-altering change, but about six months ago I finally sat down with my husband and told him how unhappy I was with the last 10 "baby pounds". It doesn't sound like a big deal to others, but I have always been in good shape and buying clothes b/c none of mine fit after 18 months was bordering on overwhelming at times- literally in front of the closet crying.

Needless to say, my husband acknowledged that he didn't realize how upset I was and then said, now what? We researched and found a reasonable treadmill and some other equipment and made a little gym in our basement. He rearranged his evening routine so that I have 30 minutes to myself each night.

Honestly, this has been a major change for us and I finally feel good and my husband is benefiting as well- less concerned about how I look means that he's allowed to look!

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi, I'd suggest if you r not a church goer that you consider finding a church that you would enjoy going to. Ask friends that go to church where they go, if they like theirs and try it a few times. In my late 30's I started going bk to church for support when one of my parents came down with cancer diagnosis very unexpectedly. It helped me re-evaluate lots of things in my life and what is most important for me and to be supportive of what my parent had to go thru in treatment. My faith now means so much more now to me than it did as a child and in my early 20's. I had not been to church in yrs prior to this. Married with a child in my early 40's I made the tough decision to go bk to college to allow me to change fields I was working in . I had graduated from college 20 yrs earlier and was in a rut not happy in the field I went to college for. It was the best thing I ever did and I was not the best student the 1st go round, 2nd time I was much more focused and found it so much easier and enjoyed it. I have a job now that I truly love and will never be tired of. One last thing I found helpful is to start doing some type of volunteer wrk. I had never been big into volunteering but found couple of things I have a passion for and did some. You have a much better outlook on life when you help a cause or others less fortunate than you. It takes the focus off of you and on to others, Hope my ideas help- good luck

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

Read this woman's story. I heard her speak at a gathering of women in Southlake, Texas, a year or so ago.

Becky Tirabassi - - www.changeyourlifedaily.com

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