6 Yr Old with Her Head in the Clouds

How wonderful that her teacher has told you that DD does well in school.
When I read your subject line, I was imagining a little girl
drifting/dreaming/creating poetry or art,
not at all engaged with the world around her.
Also, how wonderful that you recognize that she has a trait similar to yours, being easily distracted. Perhaps the two of you can practice being focused, tuned in, together. Some little exercises to practice a few minutes a day. I don't have any to recommend at the moment,
but I may think of some later, and/or you'll get some suggestions here
and/or you'll read some books about this kind of distractability.
One of the things I do when I'm in a room with a lot of separate conversations going on, is I face into a corner, away from most of the people, so that I can focus directly on whoever I am speaking with.
I'll probably write more later.

I was exactly the same way. I even had my hearing tested because of it. I would just get lost in daydreams, even at school.

There were good things about it -- I could read for hours and nothing would distract me. Also, I was low maintenance and didn't need entertaining. She's probably bright and imaginative.

It's not all bad. I think you should leave her be.

If she has not had a recent hearing test that is worth doing. Just in case.
D.

I would have her evaluated for ADHD-inattentive type or possible other conditions. As the parent of a child with ADHD, I really urge you to seek this assessment. Your daughter's pediatrician can refer you to the right specialist such as a psychiatrist, neuropsychologist or developmental pediatrician (it tends to vary by health plan) for an evaluation and diagnosis.

However, you can't teach a child with ADHD to focus because it's out of the child's control. It's a brain disorder you can't will away anymore than telling me to squint harder will allow me to see properly. However, medical professionals can definitely help. It usually takes a combination of medication and therapy to see results ... and they can be dramatic results. Our son has ADHD-combined type (with the hyperactivity) and I can tell you medication transformed his world entirely. Zero change to personality; just the real him, able to focus. He's getting the highest scores possible academically and behaviorally now in second grade. The best thing we ever did for our son was to pursue medical help for him.

Martial Arts classes. Martial arts have forms, forms are a choreographed pattern of movements that are done exactly the same way worldwide. Similar to a dance, we all recognize a waltz when we see it. Martial Artists know each form when they see them being done. The forms teach concentration. Also a Martial Artist has to be able to do each technique with both sides of the body. By using both sides of the body in repeated motions somehow it helps to focus the brain energies

I would though have her tested for a learning disablility. Dyslectics and Autistics tend to appear 'spacy' and unfocused. Before you decide to medicate your child try a change in diet or martial arts. The medicine can take their personalities away and eventually they need to learn to deal with their lives and their abilities and dis-abilities without medication.

Have you talked with her directly about it? She may be able to shed some light.
If she says things like, "Oh, it is just more interesting to think about other things," then I would say she is just a bright young girl for whom school moves rather slow.

If she says, "I really try to focus and listen, but my brain just wanders of," then you might want to consider an evaluation for attention deficit (girls often manifest attention issues in a much more subtle way than boys). A friend asked her son why he kept goofing around and not paying attention in school. His answer was that he was trying really hard because he knew what he SHOULD be doing and he wanted to, but he said that it was like his mouth and body were out of his control. They had him evaluated and he had ADHD (a low dose of meds was all it took for him to be able to make his heart/mind/body actions line up).

If she says, "I am paying attention," then work on practicing ways that her body language can better portray that (eye contact, posture, etc.).

Your situation reminds me very much of my daughter and myself. I don't remember much about 1st grade but I remember my teacher (apparently frustrated at the time) telling me I'd lose my head if it wasn't connected to my body. And I remember finding out somehow that at parent-teacher conferences she said I day dreamed . I always did fairly well in school, so I must have outgrown the lack of focus.

Now I have a 6 yoa daughter in kindergarten. I don't get complaints about her at school, but my husband and myself find ourselves having to tell her several times to do things before she actually gets them done. On a day when Mom and Dad are tired or frustrated about something else already, she gets in trouble a lot. I want to start implementing a routine to help her and us:
1) When I give her a task to do, I want to tell her eye to eye (to make sure she's paying attention) and remind her to do only that task until it's done.
2) Not make a big deal out of things when I give them out as a suggestion, not a command. I need to pay attention to how I word requests/ commands.
3)Implement some kind of rewards or punishment system. My husband is the disciplinarian. (I try but am generally more lenient) We have to talk about this more. Complimenting her every time she obeys on the first request/command might be enough to motivate her. But if she willfully does what she wants instead of obeying mom or dad or the teacher, punishment of some kind (taking some priveledge or toy away for a day) might help her think about her actions more.

When she was littlier, we did try to remind her to "Obey the first time" when we gave her a command. So she got into the habit of listening and obeying. We probably need to start that up again.

She's an older Kindergartener as her birthday is in December, but sometimes it's hard for me to know exactly what fair expectations are for her. I know we need to be consistent. When we are consistent, she will know what to expect, too. So me & hubby need to sit down and talk about it some more.

And as for you, I think as women we tend to multi-task more than men do, so in my opinion it's natural for us to get distracted or side-tracked. Men focus on the task until it's done. My husband barely wants to stop to eat lunch in the middle of a project.

She may have a ADHD but I don't think so if she is doing well in school.

Enjoy your day-dreamy little girl. She'll grow up fine, she just has some growing and learning to do like we all do!

J.

Hi C. :-)

I offer an amazing Energy Medicine Technique on my website which is great for focus, called the CORTICES balancing technique. It is VERY simple to learn and quick to implement. You can find it on my website www.amyfreundbodytalk.com Just select the tab that says Dr. John Veltheim teaches CORTICES. It is a gentle, non invasive and VERY calming comforting technique which you can learn to do on yourself right away AND on your daughter.

Best thing is she can tap out your CORTICES as well. .. make it a family affair, tap our your husband's too and see how you all begin to feel and observe how more focused your daughter will become :-0
hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

There may be something out there... like organizational classes (could help her keep focus) or maybe you should put her in an art or creative class. If you have her tested for adhd don't get SO caught up in that. My brother was misdiagnosed for 12 years because the doctor wanted money and he was popping pills and in and out of psych's offices. I see a lot of parents who put their kids on meds because they can't handle their kids being kids. It's in the nature of kids to be daydreamy and hyper. If she truly has it then okay you can treat it, I'm just saying be careful with that subject. I'd give her a creative outlet so that she can focus in class more. Art or dance or something like that. Maybe her teacher could have a list of the daily assignments for her... I'm not sure how effective that would be with a class plan but it could work in relation to her work. Good luck :D

Day dreaming is a good creative way of handling problems and she should be encouraged to write down her day dreams or to write stories or even keep a diary. Some day dream to escape uncomfortable situations, which is a good problem solving tool, or out of boredom. Put her in some theater classes to unleash her creativity and also in some programs that encourage focus... like karate. If she is doing the day dreaming in class, my guess is that she is bored and perhaps you could check into classes for advanced students to give her more challenge.