So I finally got my 13 month old out of my bed and sleeping in his crib. He cried it out and now goes to sleep with minimal fuss for naps and bedtime. He even goes right back to sleep if woken up in the middle of the night by his big sister who shares the room. My problem is he wakes up EVERY day at 4am and will not go back to sleep. He will immediately fall asleep if I nurse him in my bed (I'm also weaning him, bedtime is the last one left to go), so I know he's not done sleeping. But he will not be soothed back to sleep. As I type this, he's been crying for 1 hour off and on. I've done all the usual things, checked his diaper, givin him his sippy cup, binky etc. patted his back... Why won't he go back to sleep on his own at this one particular time of day? I'm so tired. I can't get up at 4am everyday, but I refuse to give in and bring him to my bed and nurse him which seems like the only thing he will accept. HELP :-)
Hi H.,
What time is he going to sleep at night? It could be too late. I HIGHLY recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for age appropriate sleep needs and schedules. Dr. Weissbluth states that the biggest reason for an early wake up is too late a bedtime. He is dealing with a big transition, but I would try an earlier bedtime, say 6-6:30pm, if you aren't already.
L.
My son did this at a younger age, 11 mos, but we figured out he was waking up when the heater kicked on at 4 am every morning. Check to see if there is anything like that going on... or if his room gets cold in the night he may be waking up because of the chill. It sounds like he's getting enough sleep the rest of the day, but overtired children wake up more than rested ones in case that is a possibility! Best wishes: hope you find a solution soon.
Dear H.,
He's newly separated as well. If you are still nursing either sit in a rocker in his room and nurse him back to sleep....or put him in your bed and nurse him back to sleep and then put him back in the crib, so when he wakes up he's not in your bed.
I'm sorry you are alone with two small children at 43, I hope their father is helping you emotionally and financially, I know it is hard.
Blessings.....
I have 4 kids, 20,17,14 and 3 1/2. I thought I knew it all. The only way to wean my youngest was to bring him in bed with me and let him sleep there. He woke up evrey two hours for the first two years and still wakes nightly. Don't beat yourself up about bringing him in your bed. It's not forever, sometimes you can deal with the struggles better if you have had sleep. Do what ever you can to get the sleep you need. I am an mature mother too (42) and sorry, but we need our sleep to keep up with these guys all day. I have been a single mother of three and that is enough for you to be going through. You need to just not worry about the rules and get some sleep and try it again after he is weaned. They are only little for a short time. Hope this helps you get some rest.
I think you have done great to get him to sleep in his own bed and I can understand your concern that if you let him come in and nurse and cuddle with you early in the morning especially when you used to have his daddy there and no longer do that this might set up a very bad habit which will be hard to break.
From his standpoint, he may be sad or scared or lonely and want reassurance that he is not alone and abandoned in the dark of night. One year olds cant really relate to time and when it is appropriate to be awake and noisy and get others to respond. I think that in the long run when children get what they need when they need it that they grow out of it more quickly than if they get more and more upset and don't understand why no one cares how they feel at certain times of day or night.
You are probably more tense and feeling the weight of responsibility right now with two little ones you are with day and night with no one to take over and share the tasks and responsibilities. When in doubt, it is always best to do the most loving thing...
Good luck to you in this very difficult time. (It isn't a battle which you will be giving in to...you might both win in the long term)
I would love to know how you got him out of your bed. My 19 month is till in mine and we are desperate to get him in his own bed. As far as your son waking up at 4am have you tried ignoring him and letting him cry to see if he would go back to sleep after doing it a few nights and not getting any response. That has worked for my son. He started waking uo every morning at 3am and then he would wake up 2 times at night and he wanted milk. I let him cry it out and it works most of the time, I just am not brave enough yet to let him cry it out to sleep in his own bed. Good luck
you might just want to bring him to bed and nurse him back to sleep so you can sleep too, the morning nurse was the last one we had before weaning, he has had a lot of change lately, and going to bed on his own and weaning is awesome, Do not think of it as giving in, think of it as getting better sleep for a while and then you can begin to wean in bed and then he will transition to sleeping in longer hopefully, that's how it worked with my son although he wakes at 6am every morning
good luck
put the crib in your room near your bed.what about your poor girl,how's her sleep?i think this will help.best,a
I agree with Marlene, it could be a temperature problem.
You might have to let him cry a little. I know how difficult it is... I don't think we as mothers get any real sleep until our kids are out of the house and have their own children. There is always SOMETHING to keep us up!!! Ha ha!
this happened with our son around that age also. A sleep consultant said that when they wake up between 4-5 it is hard to get them to go back down. We used to give him a bottle and he sometimes would fall back to sleep= other times he would not and it would be a tough day. But even if he didn't go back down, we wouldn't take him out of the crib before 6am. Eventually he started waking up later and later- we would still give him the bottle and not go back in until 6. When we thought he cold understand we began talking about it with him so he would know what was up. Around 20 months he just began sleeping through until 7 or later. It just happened gradually rather than all at once. I think that when he began to take one nap rather than 2 that helped quite a bit. hang in there- I know how rough it can be!
