3 Is the New 2?? - San Diego,CA

I just wanted to add that I too agree that it's "terrible" 3's not 2's. They are trying to become more independent at this age and exercising their ability to say no. Sort of trying to take control of themselves. 2's were easy for both of my oldest, 3's and 4's were more difficult. I suspect that'll be the same for my youngest who will be 2 this coming Friday. Just like most things mom, this too shall pass. Hang in! There is some light at the end of the ride....well at least until they hit the teenage years. LOL....

I don't know who came up with "Terrible 2's". Through all 4 of my kids 3 was the "terrible" age. They are older, more able to communicate, have an attitude, etc. They know where the boundaries are and love to test them. And they still have major meltdowns. It will get better...someday!

Yes, 3 (and with my girls 4) IS the new 2. 2 was fantastic....I could have a gaggle of 2 year olds. But when my daughters were 3 and 4? I was ready to put them at the end of the driveway in a cardboard box with FREE scrawled across it!

I find it's best to be calm when your kid melts down. Getting upset with them just adds fuel to the fire. So when you say she needs to wash her hands again and she flips out, just keep calmly saying 'it's time to wash our hands'. You can get firmer in your voice, but don't raise it - use your "mom voice". If she still doesn't go after telling her twice, then I'd take her by the hand and lead her to the bathroom to wash them.

Don't get into an arguement with her. Don't explain *why* she needs to wash them. You're telling her to do it, that's enough.

My daughter turned 3 this month, and its like she turned into a monster overnight. Some days I feel like I don't even know this child anymore. My sweet baby disappeared and a crazy little person has taken her place. Everyone warned me that 3 is worse than 2, and they were right!

I keep telling myself this is a phase and it will pass. You are so not alone. Hang in there!

Age 2 was great for us. 3 was a huge challenge - 3-year-olds seem much more headstrong and stubborn, and aren't afraid to let you know it!

Pick your battles. (The post-lizard-handing hand-washing was definitely one to choose.)

This too shall pass... and then you will be presented with new challenges ;)

That's because it isn't really the terrible twos, it is 3 that is bad. My son is about to turn 3, and we have been seeing the whining for a couple of months, and he is a freak about the hand washing too. They just don't get that you have to rewash them if you get them dirty again, he often will tell me its ok because he just washed them, and he totally fights me when I make him wash them.

I have noticed that when my son is super tired (he gave up naps a few months ago, but this has only started recently), he gets extra nasty, throwing tantrums over small things, whining a lot, all of that horrible 3 year old stuff. Just like everything else, this is a phase and it will get better.

To tell you the truth, I actually am liking this more than 2 anyway, since he can really listen and understand (doesn't always do what I want, but he didn't before, what kid does?), helps me clean up, and is getting better at not just running off when we are out. I actually feel like I'm getting through to him! My husband disagrees and liked the twos more.

all 5 of mine were worse at 3 than 2. So many times I would say I would love to deal with the terrible 2's than a 3yr old any day! It does get better after a while. Just keep standing your ground and not let her push her boundries. After she realizes that it wont work anymore she will push new ones and keep going in this cycle until she gives up and turns 3.5 - 4. Then you get to turn around and do it all over when she hits the teen years. I surely didn't think ahead and now Im dealing with a 3yr old and a 15yr old. Not sure what one is worse! lol Good luck

It was the same (3 year old) stage that was tough for me. What I did with my now 4 year old is not give in to the whining, talk to them about everything. Express what type of behavior you want to see and be very patient and persistent. My son is now a well behaved kid, is very H., lovable, and thankful. Do not give up even if it seems like they are not listening. It will pay off in the end. Good luck!

Well lets see it could be overstimulation but..
For my boys we did not see the terrable 2 we had terrable 3s
whiney 4
and the I know everything 5 - 7 attitude
My daughter is different she has the terrable 2s with a SEVERE case of the independants, funny thing is 95% of the time she can do it, and I am shocked becasue I cannot believe she can, eg. swimming with her floaty with out me holding her. She turned 2 in June who's kid could do that? No Way, she has been pushing me away so fine i let her (with my arms with in reach) and she swam the whole length of an inground pool.

Oh Suzanne, I am so feeling your pain;) We have a 3 1/2 year old now and things are just starting to get slightly more even keel. There are less and less falling on the floor tantrum moments.

You are doing everything right (following through, not giving in, trying to listen to her knowing she has a harder time expressing herself, etc.) and yes, it will (eventually) pass.

It is truly like living with a crazy person. One day (one moment) totally H. and normal and the next minute the cracker breaks and all hell breaks loose. There were times when my husband and I would look at each other and almost start laughing because it was so ridiculous what we were watching.

You're doing good. It won't last forever;)

Best,
S.

No advice other than stick to your guns. At 4 they are even more independent.

Well, when we came through the terrible twos, I really though "oh, this wasn't all that bad..." and then the threes hit.
Remember that each stage of development poses a new set of challenges, I think we will go through each year think: OMG, why didn't anybody warn me of this stage!

So far we've had:
the not so terrible twos
the whiny threes
and just entering the defiant fours

Maybe five will be better...

my daughter was a great 2 year old but as she got closer to 3 that changed. i think with your little one out of her element and getting so much attention she is milking it a little. it will take time to get back into the routine at home. stay consistant. as for the lizard you are totally right. my nephews got salmonella from them and almost died as babies. i would have litterally picked her up took her in the bathroom and washed her. then told her if she wanted to act like that then she wont be able to hold the lizard anymore. when my daughter has a hard time verbilizing to me i tell her to take me and show my what she wants (and shes 4 but sometimes she just cant get it out lol). i think you are doing just fine.

With my kids, there were no terrible twos. But there were terrible threes! So, it may just be a stage combined with circumstances, etc. Hang in there and just do the best you can. Good luck.

I have 2 kids.
Now, young kids, act like this when:
1) they are over-tired
2) are hungry
3) are over stimulated
4) there is too much going on at one time
5) they are overwhelmed
6) they are rushed
7) and yes, when there are TOO many people, saying things to her or contradicting or allowing things. A young child like this... cannot... self-direct and handle, all of this commotion. They are young.

When things like that are going on, a child has, nil... patience and capacity for gauging themselves. And no coping skills.

ALSO remember... that children this age and even Kindergarteners... DO NOT YET have, "deductive reasoning" nor, fully developed deductive-reasoning.
They are 'now' reactors.
Not past tense.

Your child is typical.
Keep in mind that 3 years old is HARDER than 2 years old.
2 years old phases, are nothing.
4 years old is also a hard age. For the child.

A good book series is: "Your 3 Year Old", "Your 4 year Old", "Your 5 Year Old", etc. From Amazon.
It is easy to read and simply explains, what a child is like, at their age juncture.
Although written years ago, it is still very pertinent and good.

Kids this age, also, DO NOT HAVE, fully developed 'emotions.' Nor the absolute comprehension of their emotions, nor can they even accurately analyze themselves or their emotions and cannot... express it, succinctly. It is developmental stages.
So... that makes them frustrated. And the parental expectations, needs to be in tandem with their age and development.

You teach your child:
the names of feelings/emotions
how to say it
that she can say it to you
That even if H. or grumpy, she CAN say it and be heard.

I taught my kids these things from 2 years old. By 3 years old, my Son could tell me is he was "irritated", or "grumpy" or "frustrated" and KNEW the differences in it. He KNEW himself. And could say it and tell me and I'd help him... or teach him coping-skills for it.
He could also tell me, if he just needed to vent or unwind by himself. Or not.
But regardless if grumpy or H.... I made sure, that he KNEW we were a "Team" and that we helped each other, and that he could tell me anything he needed, to.

These are 'skills' that is taught.
It is not inherent, in a child.
At this young age, they need to be taught, about feelings and ways to cope.
Some Adults, don't even know that.
It is taught. Over time.

Hello, My daughter is going through this with her soon to be three year old. She was pretty easy through her two year old stage. My granddaughter has Down Syndrome, so we were not sure if she would just continue to be this easy or not. WELL, she is now like two different children. She gets upset when she is singing and we just start to sing with her. Other times, she wants us to sing with her. Until we start, we aren't sure which way she will go. At least we can be sure that in many ways she is right on track. I do think this is a stage, but we can't just allow her to go off. As long as she only protests and doesn't behave badly, we are okay with allowing her to be herself.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

Have a crying area, not same area as time out. When she starts send her to it and tell her when she is ready to stop she may come out on her own that she is not in trouble but we don't cry or whine for no reason. I run a daycare and when that phase starts it only takes a few times. I even have had kids who will just go to it on their own without being told to it as soon as they start. They get themselves together and come right out.