Patience and Terrible Two's

Nerves of steel...count to 10 (or 500)....walk away from tantrums and if you EVER feel like you're going to lose your cool....it's going to get worse before it feels better.
And you're spot on about the consistency...start that yesterday!
Good luck!

Yup the terrible two's start before 2. Both my daughter's started around 16 months, but really got going around 18 months.

And S.H. is spot on. Good luck.

Actually, age 2 is not as bad.... 3 and 4 years old is harder.

The book "Your 2 Year Old", "Your 3 Year Old", "Your 4 year Old' from Amazon is good. Easy to read and it describes a child at each age juncture. Although written years ago, it is still very pertinent.

You also NEED to teach them: how to communicate, about the 'names' for feelings/emotions etc. Because, they do not automatically have these skills. It is learned. Some adults don't even have these skills.

You also have to teach them, "coping-skills." ANYONE can get grumpy or cranky or happy. EVEN MOMMY. BUT, so teach them not that you expect them to be 'perfect'... but HOW to cope, when frustrated.
Remember, they don't know how.
It is taught.
I have taught my kids those things, from when they were 2 years old.

Also at this age, they do NOT have, fully developed "impulse-control" nor attention-spans, yet.

"Expectations" of the child, per their age... also affects, how a parent, reacts, to their age-related phases.
Kids this age, do NOT even have, fully developed 'deductive reasoning' nor do they think.... 10 steps ahead of what they are doing nor the ramifications of it. SO, keep that in mind. And per the 'expectations' you have, of a child this age.
Then, your 'patience'... can then be, within a proper context. Or not. Per your child and her age.

They need to learn... how to communicate/how to know their feelings/how to express that/how to cope with frustrations/and learn alternate ways of problem-solving. Which a kid this age does not know yet. AND it takes time, for them to learn it. Like a rock collecting moss.
If you keep that in mind, then your 'patience' can be, put in perspective.
A kid does not learn this, over night.
At this age as well, they do NOT even have fully developed "social skills" nor understanding.... of all the abstractness of it. So, it takes time to learn that.

It is not always, that the child is 'trying to get away with things." They also do not know... all the 'reasons' for things. So, it takes time for them to learn that too.

None of these skills, are automatic. In a child, nor at this age.
It will all be continued to be learned... even at 3 and 4 years old.

And make sure your child naps.
Because, they need it.
When over-tired or hungry... a child has nil patience too.... and they are more prone to tantrums or impatience.

Parental "expectations"... needs to be age-appropriate. Otherwise, the child will be always frustrated... then the parent.

The consistent part of it is key. I have 1 boy and 5 girls and the youngest is a 2 year old girl. I was not what I should of been with the first because your learning and just trying to do the best you can ;) Now, Brooke knows what is expected of her and knows the routine. She still will throw herself on the floor and try to get attention, but we just all walk past her like she is not even there :) She then gets bored and moves on to the next thing. Don't play the game. Hope that helps ;)

While I've not experienced this in full yet, my 16 month old son can throw quite the tantrum himself. I think most of his tantrums aren't because he's trying to manipulate me or see what he can get from me as much as they are a result of his inability to communicate and inability to understand. They are not able to control impulses at a young age and actually get really frustrated with themselves and their environment. Realizing this may help you be more patient. I even started feeling bad for my son when he was so upset rather than feeling upset myself because I thought it must be so hard to be so confused by the world!

my daughter is hitting the twos and she wont be two until december. probably the best advice i can think of is to ask yourself if you would accept certain behaviour in a boy that you wouldnt accept in a girl, if you have to stop and think about it, then you know its questionable. but, yes to answer your question, its not that your patience is wearing thin, its that the child is finding new ways to annoy you. my daughter has discovered a new way to get me off the phone in a hurry, she puts several fingers in my nose, and then wiggles her fingers.. yucky but effective. they are exploring at two, but they test your sense of patience ( and sanity) to make sure that you are still THEIR mommy. you are their safe zone. they want to make sure you arent going to trade them in for a puppy, even when they kick you in the solar plexus ( my daughter did just that 2 days ago) .
K. h.