"You're a Bad Mommy!"

I would not stress about it. My 3yr old son told Daddy that "Mommy is not doing good" and I thought it was kind of funny (wouldn't let the kid know that). I have 2 boys 3yrs & 20mths and they have some serious meltdowns on the daily. Sounds like what you're dealing with is normal 3yr old boy behavior. Don't over think it.

I wouldn't make too much of it.

Well first I had to smile. We all hear it in some degree or another. He is expressing his anger. This is huge for him I'm , sure.

Mine would get mad at me and yell MOMMY MICHAEL!!! Micheal is his middle name.

When mine would say I'm a bad mommy I always say, You're right. I went to bad mommy school and graduated at the top of my class. I am the meanest mommy ever. You better get away fast or else you'll have to live with me for the rest of your life.
Now mine aren't on the Autism spectrum so they understood and would say "You did not."

Ignore it but aknowledge his frustrations. You are making progress.

If he's on the spectrum, there's a really good chance he is simply repeating something he has heard... most likely on t.v. or from somewhere in the neighborhood. I would not take it personally, as he did not say it personally.

I would try to figure out where he heard the phrase- does he watch t.v.? Is this part of a book that is being read to him? Has someone said this to you in front of him? Don't obsess over it, but look into it.

Everytime those words are said, why do the special needs babies say it earlier and more often I will NEVER understand, I say to my son, yes I am a bad mommy but I am working on being better can you help me? I think when he does this he is looking for some way to tell you he does not like how something was handled and where are the words for that? Once I started to "admit I was a bad mommy and asked for his help" things improved, and he has said it less and less, infact I think it has been months! Hang in there things that seem important to him this month will subside to others next month, things may not always seem to get "better" but they sure do get different! Oh and if the neighbors like to stare or whatever during the meltdowns, offer for them to come in and take a closer look this is a true wonder, an uncensord human just getting it all out ohhh to be allowed to have a meltdown like my and it seems your son's the joy it could bring me! Love the lifestyle and find lots of humor in it, you are not making fun of your child but making light of the situation, the God I know has a wonderful sense of humor and is happy that we find the funny in the stressfull things otherwise I would LOOSE my mind and be in the mental hospital with the huggy jacket.

Oh gosh, I'm sorry your day started like this. The truth, every mom probably hears this at some point in time. I've heard "I don't like you", "You're a mean mommy", "I hate you" - all ways of acting ou when they aren't getting their way about something. My son said these things to me between the ages of 3 and 5. After the "fight" is over, I ask if he really means that, and he would always run into my arms for a big hug. They never mean these things, and who knows how they learn it, but they never mean it. Not until they are teens anyway! Lol...
Nevertheless, it is heartbreaking to hear, so I'm sorry. Hopefully by now he made it up to you. :)

hang in there. hugs. in a way i think every kid does this. i know my nephews did this and my now 6 yr old still does this some times. so happy my 2 yr old doesn't do this. what i do is the thing my mom does. we say "thats okay cause i still love you" and if that doesn't work we say "we are not mommy/nana. we are ms.? or ms?" i know this sounds harsh and yes some times it just makes them madder but they do stop after a while.

My son is a great little guy. He is fun, loving, sweet, rough and tumble. And sometimes he lets me know that I have "ruined the best day", that I "don't care about other people", that I "am the worst mother ever!" that he "doesn't even know if he likes me." he is 5.
He also say that he "loves me" that I "look like a princess", that I " am his best friend" ect.
When he says things that are upsetting I say, "Ouch, son. That hurts my feelings. I am sorry you are upset, but you are not allowed to speak to me like that. I am your mother, you WILL respect me." Which usually results in a glare, but no more sassy talk.
Also, if I am in a good mood while he is being sassy..."well, sorry for you dude! I am the ONLY mother you got, so you better be nice!"
Kids hear things from TV, siblings, friends, neighbors, you (!), your husband, cousins, grandparents....I wouldn't worry about where he hear that. You will probably never figure it out! Just let him know that his sassy talk is not okay.
L.

I feel your pain. I also have a son who is speech delayed. What I think is happening here are simply frustrations. He does not have a well developed vocabulary and this kids are very smart. I'm betting that he must of heard this from someone or watching a tv show. You will see a lot of anger and including a lot of "bad" behavior.......all of this will go away. My son is 5 and he has excellent behavior and his school teacher loves him. Your child will mature and see this as a very tough stage in his life. Give him a lot of love and try to be very patient. You will see rewards later.

He should be in school by now. If I can help you in any way please let me know. Sending lots of good bives.

I feel for you. I also have boys on the spectrum and I can tell you that, to them, those are just words. Mine simply do not understand how it feels to the person on the receiving end of such a statement.

Personally, I would ignore it but I would ask "Gee. You love me. Who says that?"

Keep your supportive friends close! You need to keep positive!

Good luck!

i agree with margie, and turn into a positive, yeah i'm a bad mommy because i'm so mean when i hear stuff like that...don't ever say it again or you'll see bad mommy.

yes it hurts like hell to hear this from your own child....but something made him angry, someone somewhere said it, you may never find out dont' stress over it, just teach him, it's not nice to say that...and don't let him see you hurt over it...if he can push the right button's and you show him he is, he'll keep it up to get his way

Hi S.,
When I was a kid, maybe 8 or 9, I wrote in HUGE leeters with a permanent black marker on my bedroom wall 'I HATE MY MOTHER!"

I remember it so well I can actually picture myself doing it. I don't remember at all what the conflict was, why I was SO mad. My mother is the BEST mother ever! There is no more selfless beautiful mom on earth!

We were a very Catholic family, she was a stickler for name calling, sibling rivalry, disrespect of any kind but especially to her or any other adult or authority. Holy Cow I was in BIG BIG trouble.

I spent the next two weeks of my grounding scrubbing the wallpaper with a wide variety of cleaners, but it never really came all the way off.

I feel sick to my stomach thinking about being such a horrible child to my saintly mom (who's name is Suzanne btw, Suzy to her old classmates).

Not that this has anything at ALL to do with your post, tehehe, but thought you could use a good story!

And man, I can't WAIT til that baby of yours is born!!

wait, one more thing, if you haven't already, explain to your neighbors that your son is on the spectrum, you'd be AMAZED how very few parents know anything about the unpredictable behavior that can go with it

Have a great day!

he could have seen it on tv. he might have had a dream. kids pick up things everywhere. he might have remembered it from a kid at the grocery store. who knows. but you do need to explain to him that its not very nice thing to say. and ask him why your a bad mommy. even though he cant respond or has trouble explaining it can make him think about why he is saying those things that arent true. continue to tell him you love him and be kind in responce after telling him not to say such rude things. congrats on your new baby. i hope your son can show you what he means if anything. good luck.