So we live in a pretty small town. The type where most people have lived here for generations,but we have only been here three years.My daughter is 12 going into 7th grade,she was just srating 4th grade when we moved here. She made friends fast and became really close with the daughter of her softball coach.She had alot of other friends to that all belonged to the same "group" but since the other girl wasnt close with the group my daughter didnt spend ALOT of time with them. When the girls started 6th grade my daughter was super excited and outgoing and suggested to the best friend that they try to become better friends with the more outgoing group from elementary but her best friend wasnt interested because she said those girls only liked my daughter and not her. A few months into the year my daughter and the best friend start spending less and less time together( I heard it was about a boy but my daughter denies that). My daughter became friends with a completely different group one of the girls she had been friends with for a few years, some that I knew but she wasnt friends with, and one girl new to the school. I like her new friends but kept asking what happened with the best friend. She tells me she doesnt know. They stil
talk but not much. Now everytime I see the best friend she is with the girls that she encouraged my daughter not to be friends with. My daughter says she is fine but she just seems less outgoing and friendly. Not to extremes she still tried out for cheerleader even though her friends didnt. But she hasnt had friends over or asked to do much this summer( very unusual for her). She does have camps in July and August and she plays softball so she is social still. She says she is fine and her friends are out of town. She doesnt talk much to the old group much when she sees them just a hi. She used to always be on her phone but now she acts like if anyone calls or texts its bothering her and only returns calls like half the time. Should I be worried or just leave her alone about it?
Thanks....I talked to her about it thos morning and she said that the one group just has alot of drama and she just didnt feel like dealing with it. She also said that she had alot going on later in the summer and next year and so she just wanted a break. I was always super social at her age so I guess I cant relate much. But she is a good kid, her grades are good and she is not lile anti-social completely so I think she is ok.
This story sounds like completely typical 10-14 yr old girl stuff.
(Least MY 14 yr old girl)
:)
I think she'll make her way just fine. Friends will come and go and then come back. My daughter shuts off her phone and doesn't sign on the the computer somedays, gives her self a break. Sounds pretty healthy to me.
It sounds normal to me. Groups of friends and interests change all the time. Just be there for her and engage her a lot to make sure she really is fine.
Don't be worried, leave her alone about it. Things and social groups change. She sounds fine.
Sounds ok to me. Maybe the former 'best friend' wasn't such a friend in the end and your daughter is grown up enough to know who her real friends are. I have never talked to my friends as often as you're describing she has in the past.
If she says she's fine, then let it be. It's likely that she's growing up mentally a little faster than the previous group of friends. Nothing wrong with that.
My DD is now 15. She had the same best friend from 1st-6th grade. She was the one left behind. When I tried to steer her toward another friend, the old one became friends with her. Threesomes NEVER work!! My daughter tried to hang in there with the original friend for over a year. I actually saw it in action. I invited all 3 to go to the movies. The other two showed up dressed alike and talked all evening about spending the night together!!! In front of my DD!
Girls can be extremely cruel. It hurt my DD for awhile and still does but she has moved on with other friends but no more BFF which makes me sad. She lost out on part of the enjoyment of a lifelong friendship.
To help her thru it, we rented Mean Girls and watched it and discussed it. The language is rough but my DD said that is exactly how school is to her. The movie is based on the book Queen Bees and Wanna Bees if you would rather go the book route.
Now 2 yrs later, I found out that one of the girls actually had sex with a boy but my daughter could not break the trust and tell me. So rest assured that something happened and maybe your daughter has just decided to not be with people that do not have the same values as her.
I think she is fine. If she is going to camp and is still interested in doing softball i would just let it go. if you force it too much you are just gonna make her shut down.
It *could* be a sign of depression, but I think more realistically, this is just normal and inevitable ebb & flow of a teenage girl's social life. I would just let her be, don't hover over her. Which is harder to do than say because often I wonder if I'm helicoptering my daughters, but we have to let them go through these things, just like we did. Sounds normal to me.
This sounds exactly like my daughter! Give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there are things going on with those other girls that she doesn't like. GIve yourself some credit for raising a good kid. Rather than hang out with questionable kids, she is home with you, being good.
I am always asking my daughter about her friends and who she talks to and texts and try to get her to make plans with her friends. She won't do it. She would rather be home with me.
I have worried and prayed for her to be more social. But she doesn't want to. She tells me how much drama the other girls are. She just doesn't want to stoop down to their level. We talk alot and she cooks with me every night.
Mom knows best, so keep an eye on her and if shows other signs of depression step in. If she is just being lazy and wants to enjoy down time at home, let her be.
Good luck and GOD BLESS!
D.
I would leave her alone about it, but keep an eye on it.
This is an age and stage where a lot of things change. Kids are figuring out who they are- what they like, what they don't like, in what they believe, or don't believe, what they are willing to put up with, etc. if they are still like their past friends or, if they need to make new ones. It sounds as if your daughter is in this stage.
This is a tough stage Don't push, but be there if she needs it.
If she's fine, her grades haven't changed, she's still involved with softball, what's there to be worried about? I changed "groups" as I grew up and learned myself, developed my own personality. My absolute best buddy "in the world" in 5th-7th grade, I truly have nothing in common with at all except that our favorite color is blue and we wear the same perfume now. Life happens. Friends come, go, sometimes come back. This is an age where kids start developing different interests. One girl might be boy crazy and the other not there yet, one may be interested in sports while the other wants to be popular, one may be a tomboy while the other a prep, one may be interested in quieter activities while the other wants to be seen and make a name for herself, etc, etc, etc.
I think you are reading too much into it. Be careful as you poke in her business she is approaching the terrible teens and may start to really hate that. I have 2 younger sisters and we were all awful teens! Remember everything is a crisis at the pre teen/teen stage. Everything is the end of the world and friendship circles may rotate often. I know I was friends with 2 girls from 2 different circles and it seemed that I just alternated between the 2, never hung out with both in the same timeframe. I don't think you have anything to be worried about, just give her some space to find her own social circle.
