So, I have a daughter in first grade that is in a Brownie Troop. This year the troop leader mentioned to the girls if they sold "x" amount of cookies this year that they got to pick a super fun activity out as a troop. She I guess had the girls select a over night visit to the aquarium here. Well, she never mentioned it the parents on if this was suitable as choices or not. Of course the girls all made their goal and the troop leader was all set to make arrangements for the overnight. There would be two other parents I believe planned to be with the 9 girls on the overnight.
Well, I am three other moms were not so happy with the choice. I am a single mom and have a younger son. If my daughter freaked in the middle of the night, I would have to get him up, drive downtown at night, not to mention my daughter has had one over night. She is only 6.
I just don't think this was a good choice for an activity and pretty ticked the leader didn't even think to ask the parents if it was a good fit.
The leader was really upset when we went to her stating that just a day at the aquarium and a nice lunch would be better as the other three moms agreed with me that they weren't keen on them going over night.
I cannot go with my daughter or that would even be a help, I don't have a place for my son overnight and siblings aren't allowed.
The leader has now resigned as leader, yes right before the school year.
I feel badly if she is upset about our choice for our kids, but shouldn't we be able to speak up and have a voice in what our daughters do as a activity? I mean she left it to a room full of 6 and 7 year olds! Of course they are going to think that sounds great.
I have had to explain to my daughter there hopefully will be another activity, not really elaborating on why there will not be a sleepover.
I apologized to the leader if my stepping up saying something was her reason for quitting, she said nothing but said there would be one more award ceremony to get patches earned out and they would go to the aquarium during the day. I was very nice in expressing my concerns on the overnight.
This woman has been doing this a lot of years as she has an older daughter in Girl Scouts and her daughter has had the experience of over nights so she really doesn't understand the reasons we weren't comfortable.
What do you think? Would you feel comfortable letting your six year old going to a sleep over at an aquarium with no experience overnight? Am I being silly?
I would have done the same thing. I think you did the right thing. I agree that the leader should have consulted the parents. I have a 2 1/2 year old and I cannot see letting her do an overnight when she is 6 unless I know everyone invloved extremely well. Too many things can happen - not just with my child but with other children and the other adults involved.
Both of my daughters first overnights were with their brownie troops (one at the aquarium and one at the zoo). Overnight activities are very common as the award for selling cookies. These overnights are much more controlled in my opinon than a day long field trip where anyone and everyone is at the aquariam. I do think that maybe they should have come up with a few activities to choose from and talked to the parents about them. It would be a great opportunity to explain to your child that mommy won't be able to come get you so if you make the decision to go you need to stay the whole night, etc. etc.
I think that you handled it well. If the leader chose to be offended and quit, then that is her choice. You were nice about your concerns and even apologized, so I'm don't think you need to do anything else.
Since so many of you expressed concerns about the overnight trip, she should have been willing to work something else out. Perhaps even offering a choice of activities and then working with the parents to pick something.
I also agree with the other poster who said to follow your instincts with your kids. You know them better than anyone else.
I would have raised my concerns as well. Your daughter contributed to earning the "reward" and at that age wouldn't speak up and say anything about being uncomfortable sleeping away from you - even if she realized it at the time. My daughter (9) has had several friends try to sleep over and end up freaking out in the night and going home, even at this age. Your concerns are valid, and the troop leader is really not being mature about it. However, it may be the right thing that she resigned, so someone else can lead that troop in a different way.
You are not being silly! This leader obviously didn't have a lot of experience with group situations and children.
Always trust your intuition with your kids. You know their needs and habits better than anyone, and don't back down when you know that you're right.
As for her resigning...If she wants to be in a leadership position of any kind, she needs to be ready to take the good with the bad. There is always someone that won't agree with you when you are in charge of a group.
If a few parents questioning a decision (that involved their children) caused her to resign, she may have been looking for a reason to quit long before now. It sounds like she wanted to be a hero to the kids and look good, instead of being a grown up and deciding what would be best for the group and finding something age appropriate.
On another note, I saw that you do in home daycare. I did it for 2 years when my kids were small, so please don't hesitate to email me. It's a very rewarding job, but can be really difficult at times.
You're not alone and I think it's wonderful that you put being home with your kiddo's as your top priority.
I hope to hear from you soon.
D. Mally
I totally agree with how you felt and how you handled it. I don't understand why the leader handled it the way she did. Not enough communication. You, as the parent, have the final say on ANYTHING that happens with your children. Good job!
