Why Doesn't My Toddler Get Excited to See Me?

Updated on March 14, 2012
A.M. asks from Palmerton, PA
10 answers

When I pick her up from ther grandmom's house, she looks at me but doesn't really smile. After a while, she will come to me and smile, but initially I get nothing. It makes me sad. Could she be just more reserved, not easily excitable?

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I think what others have said is correct. Add to that that she knows she can count on you. She takes you for granted, literally, and at her age this is an indication of trust and relaxation.

But littles are very immediate in their interests, and when you show up while she's engaged in something else, it will take her a bit to switch gears. Seems completely normal and healthy to me, and a good sign that she's not unhappily waiting for you throughout her day. Smile, Mommy, she's having a good life!

2 moms found this helpful

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I know it can be upsetting, but think of it this way.....
To me, that's a sign of a secure child who knows they're loved and safe and trusts that Mommy will be back to get her.

My husband and I travelled a lot on business with his company and my kids stayed with my mom and dad. Of course, I missed them like crazy and they had been busy having fun with Nannie and Grandpa. They didn't miss me nearly as much as I missed them, which was actually a good thing. They had absolutely no fear or anxieties about me being gone.
It didn't take long for them to be kissing me and hugging me and wanting to hear all about my trip.
When I did daycare, I had some moms who got really upset because their kids didn't race to them and throw their arms around them. They were like, "They like you more than they like me".
That wasn't the case. They felt safe and happy and trusted their moms to come get them.
I really think it's as simple as that.

Just my opinion.

5 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

You're boring.

Because she has complete and total trust that you'd come back.

It's called a "secure connection".

Which is a good thing. :)

Also, that her grandmother is a great care provider. Because she's not anxious to leave. She's having fun. Oh. Mom's back. Cool. Knew she would be. Now if I can only get this fuzzy OFF the floor.... What? Oh yeah. Mom. Now this fuzzy... if I can JUST get it... Shoes? What? Oh. Grandma's going. Okay. See her soon, no worries. Huh. If I put my shoes on my ears, can I walk on my head? What if I put the shoe on the fuzzy? Would the fuzzy start walking. Where's the... oh yeah. Back at grandmas. Oh! Hi mom!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from New York on

dont take it personally she sees u all the time youre always there for her.. my cousin was at my house the other day and brought her 3 yr old nephew with her.. his mom called and said im on my way home from work are u guys are coming home soon right... so my cousin gets off the phone and says to her nephew ok its time to go home to which he replys i dont want to i wana stay here and she says but mommy home and he says i dont care so she says u dont wana see mommy and he says no i dont care... its just how kids are dont worry about it

1 mom found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

She has confidence in you - you're doing a good job. And her personality could be reserved on top of that, if she's not especially excitable in general.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

It just means she's comfortable at Grandma's house and is having fun. I'd be more worried if she ran over clinging to you anxious to leave. It's not that she doesn't miss you. Small children don't have any concept of time so in your mind you know you've been gone for hours but in her's she doesn't know that much time has passed.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it's fair to expect a certain reaction from a child, and for you to be disappointed by her reaction. I mean she's not a puppy. She might NOT be excited! You're mom, she knows you and loves you, it's not a revelation every time she sees you. You are a constant. Not getting excited, really means nothing. Her affection for you, can't be measured by a reaction to you when you've been away for a while.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Because she's a toddler. Some kids don't transition well from one situation or activity to the next, that's all. She connects with grand mom, which is good so that she doesn't miss you horribly and cry the whole time - but then she can't just flip a switch when you return.

You may find, when she goes to preschool, that she doesn't switch from circle time to snack to reading corner to outside play without some adjustment time. Could be part of her personality, or it could just be a developmental phase that will pass.

In the meantime, just let her know how happy you are to see her, but don't show her that you are sad or make her feel badly for not being so effusive. Let her ease back into her time with you. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you!

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Some children have a hard time going from one person to another after being with one and having fun and adjusting and it takes time for them to warm up to the next person. She may be having a great time at Grandma's house too and have to think about giving that up. Don't worry about it. She loves you.

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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son would actually cry. He was having fun, but it still hurt my feelings. I would get him exited again as we turned the corner of the block.

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