Why Do Some People Think Rules Don't Apply to Them (Venting)

I like Jennifer P's idea. She's not worth the trouble. If you have anyone waiting for a spot, let her go. Or tell her, since she lives so close, she needs to take him home and feed him, then bring him back as you have a schedule to keep and can no longer accommodate the late eating/cleaning. Or SHE can stay with him in the kitchen while he eats and clean up after him. Put the responsibility back on her.

Here is what I used to do. I would tell the parent that their child had to finish their breakfast outside because breakfast time is over and I am now caring for the other children. I informed the parent that snack would be at 10:30. Sometimes it took two or three times of them thinking their child did not get to eat anything until 10:30 before they understood I was serious. Once the parent left I would feed the child but the parents did not know. I could not let a child go until 10:30 without eating!

Simple answer, tell her that on X date you will no longer have space for her child. It doesn't sound like it's worth all the extra stress/trouble it brings into our home.
I'm sure the slot that child fills will be filled quickly. No loss of income, Good Luck

I would drop her as a client. Plain and simple.

She obviously has no respect for you, your rules or schedule. Why do you need to put yourself in this predicament?

tell her that she has two weeks to get on board with the rules. If not - her son's last day will be March 9th. You aren't playing games here. You have a schedule. Tell her how it will be. Tell her that if she cannot abide by your rules - March 9th is her last day and mean it.

Right at the door, I think you should politely refuse her to bring in the bowl of cereal. She lives 2 blocks away, she can take it back to her home and feed her child at home first. What she is doing is very disrespectful to your care environment, and she obviously has no regard for that. She laughed at issues this caused with other children? I would be livid. If she doesn't respect your rules, you probably won't miss her if she decides to leave.

You state your rules up front - in a written contract that must be signed off on.
You state the penalties for breaking them ($5 or $10 per minute if picked late to be paid before you watch that child again).
You warn once or twice when the rules have been broken and if they can not live with your rules YOU FIRE THEM.
There are people out there who are willing to work WITH you.
Fire the one that won't and find another client.
You have the power to solve this very easily and quickly.

I agree with the idea that you should drop them as clients but I also think they should get fair warning. As sad as it is people only seem to respond to rules they believe are being enforced. Kind of like a petulant child will only respond to actual discipline.

So tell them this is not a line in the sand. Give them a reasonable allowance of warnings, maybe two or three and then they will no longer be welcome. When they break the rules give them a written warning, number it and include your written policy so they can clearly see what they are doing wrong and that they only have one more chance for redemption.

If that doesn't work they are the type of people that just don't respect any rules and kick them to the curb with a clear conscience. :)

Not a chance at my home childcare! I have a breakfast cut off of 8am. Same sort of reasons and I am ULTRA strict with it. Also no food from home. No cereal, donuts, pop tarts and the like.

I do understand the occasional "I had to shovel the sidewalk or the driveway enough to get out" or "The garage door would not open" excuses..but OCCASIONALLY....like a few times a year. This parent is taking the inches you have given and making them miles. She is taking advantage of what is a general non-confrontational nature of childcare providers.

Cut her off NOW. I would have a conversation with her TODAY, take the cues form this mornings episode and lay down the law. Tell her it can not happen again or she is in violation of your house rules/contract rules...however harsh you want it to sound.

I have a zero tolerance for this sort of stuff..as you said...for a reason. My ship sails pretty smooth as a result!

Best wishes!!

Put a clause in there that she will be charged more for bringing late or picking up late....or tell her to go away. I'm sure you are not charging her enough money to put up with her. Enforce your rules or she will walk all over you. She does not respect you. If she did, she would follow your rules.

I let go of clients who do not follow the rules. Not worth the headache.

Some people just have no respect for boundaries, and make you work very hard to enforce them.

I'd be prepared for the next time this happens.

"No, we can't have cereal in the playroom. You can go back home to feed him, or eat upstairs this morning. After today even eating upstairs at this time won't be allowed. I can't have people unsupervised in my home."

And what if you lock your door after a certain time, and the parent has to call before being admitted? There has to be a way to make failure to respect boundaries more costly to her.

The other option is to cut her loose as a client.

Good luck.

I totally agree with Kristina - write up a 'contract' stating YOUR hours, YOUR rules. If she doesn't abide, let her find somewhere else to take advantage of.

I agree with the other moms to let this client go. The rules are in place for the safety and productivity of the children's day. It is one thing to bend the rules when caring for one child or even two, but kids thrive when THEY know where the boundaries and limits are. I work in the childcare rooms at my church and even they have a cut-off time in which people can drop their children off at the rooms because it just disrupts the flow of the class. It is not fair to you, her child or the other children to be so disrespectful of this rule. If she is able to get her child to you while still in her pajamas, she should be respectful enough to get him there when you serve breakfast. Good luck!
A.

I've been doing this for 26 years and I think you are banging your head against a 12 foot steel wall. It's not going anyplace.

I just have things prepared for them to eat and we eat our lunch whenever we need to. I am not a big fan of schedules and this is just one of the many reasons why. There is no way I could get my group of parents on the same page since I've always been able and willing to keep people on all kinds of shifts. It does make nap times and meals and snacks a challenge. But I figure that's what they pay me for.

Yes, I understand that if they want special treatment that they could pay a nanny. But in my neck of the woods, people are so hard up for money that they are doing nanny jobs for the same or very little more than what I charge in my home. I have new young upstarts starting popup daycares and charging way less than me as well. We need to be Grandma to all these kids. Grandma will treat them each like they are the top of the world to her. You will feel better when you lower your expectations of them and they will pay you more consistently and be more loyal to you when you are raising your expectations of yourself.

My sitter also has an 8am cut off for breakfast. I have run late on occassion and sometimes she will feed them, sometimes not. If she won't, we grab something quick and they eat in the car. It is what it is and I'm never mad about it.

I've never been late. I was on travel and we prepaid her to keep our kids an extra 30 minutes for 4 days. We didn't end up using them, but we prepaid her anyways for her willingness to stay open for us.

I'd tell this family to re-read their contract. If they aren't okay with it, there are other options for them. Don't let them walk on you and be disrespectful, anymore than you would do that to them.

Ugh. Gotta love it when someone else switches the day from good to bad in 10 minutes!

Hope your day gets better.

Maybe send a copy of the "rules" home with everyone AGAIN today? Maybe she'll connect the dots?

Because people are self-centered buttholes - that's why. Unless you have consequences and back up what you say, this woman will continue to walk all over you.

I echo Cheryl O.
Tell her that it is not allowed. If she cannot follow the rules then she will need to find alternate care. Give her a week to "get it together" and tell her after such and such a date, if she breaks the rules, THAT will be his last day.

Sounds like it's time to let one client go. I would give her two weeks notice to find another care giver. If during that period, the client sticks to your rules and schedule and asks you to give her another chance, it's up to you.

Blessings.....

There is no logical reason...people always seem to think it doesn't apply to them just everyone else.

In this situation, I would print a reminder that says something like this "On the reverse side of this page is a copy of our daily schedule. Since everyone has previously received a copy, this is just a reminder for your convenience. Please note our meal and snack times, especially breakfast. Breakfast here at daycare is from 7:00 - 7:30, afterwhich I clean up and move to the play area. Food is not allowed in the play area so those arriving at or after 7:30 should finish eating prior to be left in my care. Also, while I realize that things come up at work and/or traffic may cause a delay in your pick up time I do request that you notify me immediately when you realize you will be late rather than right at pick up time. These things should be the exception and not the rule. Thank you for your time and cooperation". Be sure to put the schedule on the reverse side. Print one for each person and an extra to have them ALL sign. Then if it continues, you have to give the violators a direct warning..."Liz, since Johnny hasn't had breakfast you will need to take him back upstairs and sit with him while he eats and clean up when he's done. Our mealtime is done." If it happens again.."Liz, you need to take Johnny home until he's done w/ breakfast". At that point, you may need to reconsider keeping Johnny in your care.

Please keep in mind that people sometimes run late. If their kid is used to eating at your home and they get up/arrive late, they probably didn't have time to add eating at home to their morning. I can definately see myself taking breakfast to the center...my daughter doesn't eat when she first gets up and getting her up earlier really isn't an option. I would seriously consider moving your breakfast time to a bit later...maybe you don't serve it after 7:30 but allow until 7:45 for kids just arriving to finish what they have brought. That is what my daycare did. She didn't serve breakfast at all but as the kids arrived, they would sit and eat if they hadn't already or finish up but they were all done by 7:45.

Another thought is if the late pick up is occassional, it happens. If it is a chronic issue, you should include it in the reminder (as a showed above). Then often repeats should definately be charged a late fee if you don't already. My old daycare had late fees but if you called her and said "I'm running about 5 minutes late leaving work" she didn't mind on occasion (I had exactly enough time to walk out the door right at 5 and get to her within a few minutes of closing). If the phone rang just before 5, I couldn't get out the door right at 5. She knew I was coming straight there.

I would give her a written warning stating that if she doesn't go by the schedule then she should start looking for another daycare. I know stuff happens and there are times when someone will be late etc., but if she is taking advantage then it is wrong.

I think that you should fire this client. Or if you're not willing to do that - charge her 'rule-breaking' fees for all the extra aggravation that she is causing both you and the other children.

Initially, I agreed with Cherry O. Then, I thought nah, I am way too anal to do anything unscheduled. I would tell her that I have to take the cereal away as soon as she leaves but if she'd like she can go upstairs and sit with him until he finishes. Its your home--run it as you please. But know, she has teh right to drop you as well.

I would take the bowl of cereal from him and give it back to her. Tell her what happens when she leaves and that he needs to eat it at home.