Why Do I Feel So Angry About This....?

Updated on February 28, 2010
H.J. asks from Saint Paul, MN
10 answers

After taking our two kids 4 and 2 to the dentist this morning they both did amazing until my son had a light instrument dropped on his head by the doctor. Causing a pretty good size bump and a lot, LOT of tears. He was cry free and tear free and almost done with the visit when it happened. I didn't get angry while I was there but I just felt pissed in the car on the way home. I know it was an accident but man I can just see future visits being bad now because of the experience for him. He's got a half inch long bump above his eye and I just feel sad that he had to experience this at only his second visit.

***Update: I have not linger on this accident out loud or too him this is just how I feel inside, he is over it and I don't plan on bringing it up anymore, I was just shocked at how much it bothered me...maybe because I'm a 7 month along hormonal pregnant chick!!! LOL

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Awww...sorry that happened to him. Try not to make a big deal about it or it will be magnified in his mind, too. We try to make a joke out of stuff like that. We still say "Remember when Grammy WHAPPED you in the head with a jar of jelly?" My son still cracks up--5 years later!

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

make a joke of it. i have always found with little kids if you take the "bad" out of it it wont be a lasting trauma. it was an accident right so let that part of it go. i am sure the offender feels terrible. say something to your son like "wow they sure have strange methods of saying thank you" or. "you did such a good job i think a pat on the back would have been better" you can be angry but dont let your child see it or it will surely make things worse for the next visit. if he is still thinking about it at the next visit let him wear a bike helmet or a bowl on his head (that would be funny for EVERYONE)

4 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think your feelings are very normal an isnt because your preg.your baby got hurt-yes an accident-but still got hurt by a proffessional-thats our job to protect our children..so dont be so h*** o* yourself...i really hope they apologized above an beyond-and called later to make sure all was well....if not-id switch dentists....good luck

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I don't blame you - I would have been angry too. What a way to set up a child for a potential life-long fear of the dentist (like they need that!).

If it were me I would take a picture of the injury, just in case there are any further problems (not that there would be necessarily). Also, I would wonder if I should see my ped (depending on how bad the bump is).

I *would* be careful how I reacted in front of my child. If he quickly gets over it and forgets about it - great. Hopefully that will be the case.

Good luck to you - sorry this happened! We moms don't need that sort of thing!

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

What was the dentist's response? What was happening at the time? Was your son struggling? How did the instrument get dropped?
As a former dental assistant I can tell you that we (dentists and assistants) are very aware of our instruments! Yes, some of them are sharp and they do have some weight to them so if they get dropped it can hurt. We learn different ways of holding instruments so that the likelihood of them being dropped is minimal but it does happen. Handle 50 instruments a day and it is bound to happen at one time or another.
That being said I would be more concerned about how the dentist handled this. Personally if I had dropped an instrument on a patient (on the floor is more likely) I would be mortified and apologize profusely. Accidents happen! If you truly think your doctor was negligent then find another one.

As for your son....he is little enough that he may forget it. If he doesn't then make sure that the dentist office knows about his experience so they can give you a bit more time. This way they can ease him back in, show him that there is nothing to be afraid of. As for you, the best you can do to help him is act as if there is nothing wrong.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with Page...maybe he should have gotten an extra treat from the dentist, but I am not sure this will scar him for life. I do hope he apologized for the accident.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I always feel more emotions after the fact than when it happens-this is ok. You might talk to your dentist and see if they (the whole department) can help make his next visit more pleasant-they might be able to give him a walking visit where he sees all the rooms and gets to talk to the dentist without any worries-then if he wants to tell the dentist he is scared at that time the dentist might be able to talk him thru it. I hope the dentist would appologize for dropping the instrument at that time. After all accidents happen! Maybe the nurses can show him the instruments and explain what they do also. If this is possible-plan this soon so he does not have time to worry about his last visit-some schools offer dental programs of this nature-check around and see if there are any out in your area. It is scary for a child to see all these things going on and not understand what it has to do with him-so to make it more familiar he won't be as nervous and hopefully the demtist does not drop anything again. Oh yes use an ice bag on his head for the bump-wrap it in a light "towel" (paper cloths work too). Maybe sit with him and read a book about going to the dentist office?

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well, I can see why you would get so angry. It's probably from thoughts like "it was going to be a great visit, but ___" "of all the things that have to happen...just our luck" "why do these things have to happen to our family" "this is going to ruin future visits forever" "my poor son...now this is what he is going to think of when he goes to a dentist" "now he's going to be crabby and have a bump on his head for a month" "stupid doctor".
It's very easy to get mad when thinking like that! I do it all of the time! lol No seriously though, the fact that you got mad afterward means it was probably your own thoughts about the situation that made you feel that way. I took a DBT group several years ago and this is one of the things they went over...it's hard to recognize but when you start to realize what you're saying to yourself in an emotional moment, it will blow your mind, because it is SO easy to make things seem much much worse than they really are.

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

You should feel angry. I'm a Dental Hygienist and one of the first things they teach you is to never ever pass instruments over a patients face. Just think if the sharp instrument hit him in the eye!!! We always have ALL are patients wear safety googles, and kids get to wear sunglasses.
Next time you go in, I would address this and ask them to be more careful.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I agree with Emm. In 6m, when its time for your son's next visit, if he says anything, take your bike helmet. Then when he gets in the chair, he can tell them to 'BRING IT ON!'
Or better yet, if you have to take all 3 kids with you, have them ALL wear hats! If it were me, I would SOOO do that!! What a fun way to make a bad memory into a funny one!
M.

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