When Does One Fit the Time for Oneself or a Realtionship

Updated on January 27, 2009
V.N. asks from Bronx, NY
4 answers

Most of the time I feel extremely exhausted and I feel like I
can't function very well. I hoope this situation gets better, I
want to feel loved by my mate but it seems that their is never
ever anytime or maybe he and I just do not make time. What can
be done, is their a single parent web site?

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answers from Columbus on

I would recommend getting a doctor to check you out and see i there is an underlying reason you are so tired. Eat healthy, drink lots of water, take vitamins, get physical movement as much as possible. You have to take time for yourself, for individual kid time, and for your significant other. I like to *spa* myself, I love to spend time giving myself a facial, soaking in the tub, etc -- generally after my kids go to sleep. I also like to go to places to get these services done (usual a school or someone very affordable), then the kids either go with a sitter or their father. I am not sire how old your kids are or if their father is involved or other family members, but you need to have time alone to destress, exercise, do yoga, go on dates. You should try and schedule dates, alone with your man and perhaps with the whole gang. Find something you really enjoy or would like to learn with other adults-- dance, pilates, book club, cooking class, scrapbooking, etc.

Hope you can make time for you!!! Relax and breath!



answers from New York on

the same with marraige.. you have to make the time. Put a movie on for the kids in the living room.. and you and he sit in the kitchen have a glass of wine and just talk. or hire a babysitter once a month - so you can go out.. even if it's for 2 hours... you need to have your time too. good luck..



answers from New York on

There have been times when I felt the same way. I absolutely believe that communication is the best thing in a relationship.. I spoke with my husband about the way I was feeling(that we didnt connect like we used to)... he actually felt it too and we both decided we were going to make the time for each other...it wasnt that we didnt love each other any more, it was just that we didnt have the time to feel the emotion like we used to because the kids take up sooo much of our time. We put the kids to bed a little earlier and stayed up a few minutes later so we could spend 'us' time together and it has made aaaallll the difference.=).. hope this helps- good luck!



answers from Syracuse on

Do you have any family or friends that could come and help you? I find that if I can get out when the kids are in bed, even once a month or so, I feel so much better. If I don't have someone to do something with (which is most of the time), I just go to a bookstore and have a coffee. Put the kids to bed earlier sometimes so you get to take a break before you want to go to bed (I find that I'm tired super early compared to before kids). There are lots of groups on MeetUp (google it) - I bet you could find a single moms group in NYC. Being a parent is totally overwhelming. When you have to do all the parenting by yourself, I can only imagine how overwhelmed and exhausted you feel, especially after a day of working with other people's kids too. Some moms like to get up early to have a cup of joe before the kids are up. This only works if you have kids who sleep past a reasonable hour (mine are generally up by 5am and I'm not getting up earlier than that!). Do an exercise routine on TV - like the 30 Day Shred from the Biggest Loser. 20 minutes of you time - I can do it with my kids right there (1 and 2 years old) if I have to. I feel so much better when I exercise. Also you could take DHA supplements and vitamin D3 - these are supposed to help with energy. Hope these are helpful suggestions.

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